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--- 2005_2006_foam_fieldnotes [2025-05-02 01:30] – alkan
+++ 2005_2006_foam_fieldnotes [2025-05-03 06:08] (current) – using horizontal rules to "bracket out" stuff such as direct transcriptions of meetings etc. alkan
@@ Line 74: / Line 74: @@
 Going up into the cathedral open all night for the White Nights. The brightly illuminated streets of the city centre give way to the deepest gloom and darkness of the outlaying suburbs. It is terrifyingly eery and disconcerting.
 ==== Brussels ====
@@ Line 191: / Line 192: @@
 N.B. Discovered also in this discussion that Lyta must be operative for at least two years, rather than the two months I had presupposed.
-----
 The discussion regarding shutting Lyta down [yesterday].
@@ Line 199: / Line 198: @@
 Todor was construed, it seemed, as the one being recalcitrant and unable to negotiate. Yet it would also be accurate to say that, if they wanted dependency charts in the first place, the whole group should have sat down and drawn up dependency charts, and much earlier in the game to boot. But everyone was too busy: Nik with the finances, Maja with some detail of the metal frames, and complained that they had no time to sit down. So Todor was not really the one solely to blame for seeming to want to avoid sitting down and discussing the project in the form of an overview of some kind. Recalcitrantly, Maja unrolled a big sheet of paper on the kitchen table, got out some textas, and started to note down in big capital letters the issues Todor raised, about five in number and mostly interrelated. Just this act, begun reluctantly, was enough to diffuse tensions considerably and soon those in this ad hoc discussion group were participating a little more enthusiastically. It allowed everyone involved to see each issue literally “on the table” - at least the issues surrounding this one dimension of safety/control, and to a lesser extent making the installation accessible to the Phaeno staff. (The Phaeno guidelines were elaborated in a thick bound A4 booklet which was lying round on the table. This is the first time I have seen them refer to this booklet.) The concern of the muscles being destroyed became paramount, and ways of shutting the muscle activity “to zero” were proposed by Pix and Todor which were all rather costly and complex. For, if the muscles were active and the air was cut off for some reason, the components would be destroyed and this would constitute a design flaw that FoAM would be responsible for (rather than a flaw that would be considered the responsibility of Merlin or Phaeno). I didn’t catch how it came about, but Maja made a phone call to Bois and he apparently suggested the use of a pressure valve that would automatically cut off the power when it detected the air pressure had been interrupted. This solution was seen to obviate the whole sequence of complex concerns and work-arounds that had already been proposed. Pix then Todor sketched a rough circuit diagram and the hastily called-together session was adjourned and we ate dinner, reviving some good humour in the process, it seemed.
-----
 [Before:] Meeting with Professor Pinxten, Gent
@@ Line 583: / Line 580: @@
 Maja phones Merlin and discusses the email; again the phone is set on loudspeaker. Once again Simon’s half-promises, inconsistent statements, and so forth. Maja asks for a written confirmation that Merlin can deliver the components by a certain date, which she says she needs to have in order to forward to Phaeno. Simon hesitantly agrees, and a little after the phone call Maja receives an email in which Simon has said he “believes” he is able to deliver the remaining muscles on 23 August.
--08-19 14:17:58
+=== 2005-08-19 ===
+:17:58
 (Mention this to the group also.)
@@ Line 591: / Line 590: @@
 The constitution of an aesthetic through the above.
--08-19 14:50:12
+:50:12
 Muscles have arrived, along with the boards. Pix is going to Mechelen to get a power supply; he says Todor has started being a “loser” about the whole issue of getting the power supply and Pix doesn’t want to leave it up to him. (I ran into him on his way out of the studio just as I was arriving, at the roller door.)
@@ Line 613: / Line 612: @@
 I leave them to it and return to the apartment; Nik and Maja have not yet shown up after their wedding escapade yesterday. They were meant to come at 6 or 8 pm.
--08-20 14:34:14
+=== 2005-08-20 14:34:14 ===
 At lunch, discussing the lack of work done the previous evening. Lina notes Todor’s habit of starting discussions at 11 pm. Todor is asking to get nine more power supplies. He is over budget; Lina is still within budget; some discussion I don’t catch about explaining how this budgeting system works. Pix and Todor set up one draw but didn’t end up testing it. Pix has a headache today and stayed home to sleep. Maja says, “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
@@ Line 621: / Line 620: @@
 The Foton people haven’t come in today, it’s Saturday; but usually now, since they’ve all returned from their summer vacations, they sit in their part of the studio, quietly at their computers.
--08-21 12:36:13
+=== 2005-08-21 ===
+:36:13
 Maja has just banged her head in the apartment while cleaning out the ferret litter. She has been lying down for over an hour now. Nik coughs atrociously every morning, but it leaves him for the rest of the day.
@@ Line 639: / Line 640: @@
 Nik and Maja have a “company,” Membrane, located in the Cook Islands. It is a “perfectly legitimate” company. Apparently it even has a secretary (located in the Cook Islands as well?). They must pay about €1000-2000 annually to keep it going. At the end of this year they will have to make some calculations to see if it will still be viable. They use this company to make “black” payments and invoices. Since my knowledge of the entire field of this kind of setup for the purposes of tax evasion is totally lacking I must make more enquiries into the details of how it works. Todor notes that Belgium has among the highest taxes in the world, and Nik says that the Wikipedia entry for Belgium cites tax evasion among its list of Belgian “hobbies.”
--08-21 18:10:00
+:10:00
 Phone call from Todd. Maja speaks to him about finalising the revised Wolfsburg install date. Todd said that the museum thought 22 September was a bit late in case that something went wrong, and Maja replied that this was precisely why FoAM wanted to test the installation in their studio for an extra week, then take the finished thing to Wolfsburg and install it. (Much later this evening, while we are walking home through the asphyxiating dark Brussels streets, Maja exclaims “I didn’t get the new date in writing! Todd didn’t send an email!”)
@@ Line 657: / Line 658: @@
 Pix murmurs that “we just can’t play the game like everyone else,” that FoAM doesn’t want to work that way.
--08-22 14:52:10
+=== 2005-08-22 ===
+:52:10
 “We were supposed to be in Wolfsburg today.”
@@ Line 695: / Line 698: @@
 Maja goes on to mention “another thing in the long list of what I could look at,” which is lunches and dinners at FoAM. They used to be made because FoAM had no money to pay visiting artists, and so they made them nice dinners instead. But now everyone expects that these lunches and dinners should happen, that they have to happen. This leads to the further point that Maja and Nik can’t “escape” FoAM. They try, but they always get drawn back into the “total environment” of FoAM. She feels they are obliged to provide not only a studio but an entire social life for those visiting, since mostly people are coming from elsewhere to FoAM and don’t know anyone in Belgium or Brussels, and she’s sick of it, it makes her “sick” and she wants it to change.
--08-23 19:21:37
+=== 2005-08-23 19:21:37 ===
 This morning Todor was in the studio, the first time I’ve ever encountered him here in the morning. Nik has stayed home today, completing the editing for (I think) the TRG book. He says he won’t come in at all.
@@ Line 709: / Line 712: @@
 I have come to FoAM with a whole set of preconceptions - which are now one by one being dismantled.
--08-24 13:30:44
+=== 2005-08-24 ===
+:30:44
 The excessive theorisation of artistic practice; the divide between theory and realisation; the causes and constituents of this theorisation - the imperative to define projects to 1) funding bodies, 2) partner groups and individuals, 3) themselves. The interweaving of these imperatives that gives rise to the resulting amalgam. A large part of their “artistic” practice lies in defining and promulgating the theory, whether or not and to whatever extent there is a mismatch between rhetoric and activity.
--08-24 18:09:19
+:09:19
 I come in late, and am now feeling awkward in the studio as usual. The day has turned gloomy and overcast outside. This oppressive atmosphere seems to be transferred into the studio, though I can never tell if this is just me or if others feel this way… What is certain is it makes me long to be elsewhere. Never mind, all will pass.
@@ Line 735: / Line 740: @@
 After the pre-meeting we go out to eat pizza, Pix and Todor coming as well. On one end of the table, discussions about soap operas, the formal wedding customs among Indian Americans; at the other end, Pix and Todor are discussing such things as motion tracking software and algorithms for determining certain behaviours.
--08-25 10:10:33 HASTEN meeting
+=== 2005-08-26 ===
--08-26 10:55:52
+:55:52
 The HASTEN meeting yesterday. The peculiarity of having these people in FoAM’s highly informal environment. Somewhat comical to see them taking a break and talking in groups amidst the hulking detritus of Lyta. Those attending are all representatives of universities and research institutions; though they are not exactly corporate executives, the line is blurred and they could in effect be considered as such. The youngest people in attendance are me, Nik, and Maja. Vali brought her baby along and it was placed in a corner, amidst all the rest of the studio’s paraphernalia. The meeting started with Maja’s presentation and a distribution of the Txoom DVD to all those present. Maja concluded her presentation and was absent for the rest of the day. Nik remained instead.
@@ Line 769: / Line 774: @@
 An email comes from the Belgian National Bank, of all places, expressing interest in “contemporary art,” and in particular - of all projects - Lyta. There will be a meeting with them on 14 September. FoAM seems to be getting involved in more and more unlikely projects, turning into a menagerie for all sorts of increasingly bizarre and uncomfortable combinations.
--08-26 14:28:08
+:28:08
 Conversation with Pix about the Netochka Nezvanova case.
@@ Line 787: / Line 792: @@
 Pix says that back in the late 80s when he was starting to get into computers there were two types who were into computers, the geeky type and the cool type. The difference between them was that the geeky type did not try to conceal their geeky obsession with technology, while the cool type, though they were still probably just as obsessed with technology, strove to make it appear that they were not so obsessed and used technology in a “cool” way. This distinction still holds today, according to Pix.
--08-30 11:58:51
+=== 2005-08-30 ===
+:58:51
 Pix has been at the studio for three days straight, and yesterday he went home after a sleepless night. He woke in the evening with a headache, and today he is still at home, going for “another round of sleep” before returning to the studio. Everyone seems to be thinking mostly about holidays in the back of their minds. Maja has been calibrating muscles and Nik spent yesterday evening on “sys-admin.” I feel quite aimless, at a loose end, and directionless.
@@ Line 819: / Line 826: @@
 Pix has stayed in the studio all night again. Earlier in the evening I overheard his conversation with the Foton people that he would be driven by FoAM back to Berlin, I think because this would be less expensive than sending him by train. This was in the context of a discussion about the party he’s going to there.
--08-31 12:29:24
+=== 2005-08-31 ===
+:29:24
 It was patently clear that nothing would be ready by 22 August, when the group originally planned to go to Wolfsburg to install. Earlier in the game, they pulled something together for Todd’s inspection, which gave the feeling that they could indeed get something ready by the August date. (I just realised that this inspection was on 31 July - exactly a month ago - and still the group haven’t got a single draw of muscles working!) The continued lull in activity over the beginning of August made me think that either they were very confident or very deluded, but in any case I found it surprising. The situation seems the same now in that I can’t really see how they will possibly get anything done by 22 September, and in that sense, things are exactly the same as they were this time last month. Even if no one were going on holidays, it would be highly unlikely. And yet I still wonder, can they do this? Could they do this if they stayed to work? But I think it’s too late now to ask these questions, which should have been asked - as they are all aware - months ago. Furthermore, now one has to reflect that the email sent to Merlin, which was meant to protect the group legally, could have been a mistake, since Merlin did deliver by the date. (This was the concern raised by Todor and Pix.) So what will happen now? I cannot know, but I feel a sense of ominousness when they continue to speak of ordering expensive parts, such as the very expensive glass casing.
@@ Line 849: / Line 858: @@
 Maja, Lina and Bois have left to do something, perhaps check out the glass frame, since Bois is going to be drilling the holes to affix it. Nik is intent on some computing task.
--09-08 10:44
+=== 2005-09-08 10:44 ===
 Through this week I have been trying to work alone on calibrating the muscles, while everyone is on holiday, and when I finished the sixth draw yesterday, Todor had more work for me. So much for making time to look for an apartment, let alone getting a break. Todor and I mentioned that it might have been best if FoAM cancelled the installation in August when the muscles were late. But then again, perhaps not, because FoAM must “prove that it doesn’t work,” in Todor’s words. And more importantly, it is a difficult decision because everyone has invested so much work, time, and effort into the project. He says that by continuing with the project instead of cleanly cancelling it FoAM will perhaps damage their reputation more.
@@ Line 859: / Line 868: @@
 I left the studio around 8 pm last evening, dispirited and weary, while Todor was still working and stress testing the wall some more.
--09-09 14:42
+=== 2005-09-09 14:42 ===
 Yesterday afternoon, while Bois and I were testing and discussing the frames, a box of repaired muscles arrived from Merlin. More muscles to burst! When Nik and Maja return from their holiday tomorrow, there will be exactly twelve days left before the final deadline for installing at Wolfsburg.
@@ Line 873: / Line 882: @@
 Lina met Maja in Holland where they were both studying. She was given a proposal to work on the fabrics for the T-Garden project. This was when she didn’t know anything about mixed reality and all that; she was simply studying fabric, drawing, painting, graphic design, etc. A friend explained what the proposal meant, since in addition her English was not good at that time. She and her friend’s first reaction was “how weird!” but Lina was interested enough to design the costumes. When she saw how they were used she thought “it’s wrong!” From there Maja and Lina entered Starlab, the same with Nik.
--09-11 14:16
+=== 2005-09-11 ===
+:16
   * The return of Nik and Maja
@@ Line 904: / Line 915: @@
 Maja suggests the group take a short pizza break. “Why not a long one!” says Nik. When they return they could start a round of muscle calibration, “to feel a sense of achieving something today,” says Maja. I left them to it and returned to the apartment to recouperate and write this up, which always takes a disproportionately long time.
--09-12 16:25
+=== 2005-09-12 ===
+:25
   * Maja’s concerns
@@ Line 933: / Line 946: @@
 Pix discussing PD: its inflexibility when it comes to large complex systems. “The whole idea of computers is that they allow you to do things more flexibly than in the physical world.” But PD doesn’t allow for this.
--09-13 11:21
+=== 2005-09-13 11:21 ===
 Todor is still here when I arrive, from last night. “Ah, I hate all this mechanical stuff!” he exclaims. “I joined this project to program the interaction, and now I won’t be doing any of it. It’s grotesque!”
@@ Line 957: / Line 970: @@
 The mood grew ever more tense and doom-laden. Maja discussed all of the things that had to be known about Todor’s side of the project. He is leaving tomorrow and has to be at the airport at 12. I am overwhelmed at seeing how much Maja must keep track of. She drinks Red Bull all evening. With Todor gone, the group has dwindled to us four. Even if none of us were spending most of our time procrastinating, it seems to me that it would be pretty much impossible to complete the amount of work that must be done by next Wednesday.
--09-15 00:31
+=== 2005-09-15 00:31 ===
 Spent the whole day wiring the draws with cables. Got the whole lot done at about 11 pm tonight. Maja was putting foam into the tubes as sound insulation. Nik sporadically does things for Lyta, then returns to his computer; I have no way to determine if what he is doing there is useful or simply procrastination, though I suspect the latter. After dinner he seemed to reach the conclusion that the drains were still blocking up and needed yet more work with suction pumping. So he spent most of the rest of the evening working at that task.
@@ Line 973: / Line 986: @@
 Mention of a project possibility in Antwerp and someone offering to support it who has not responded to FoAM’s email. This was to be a TRG-related project to take place in February next year, but for a few months now nothing has been heard. Jokes about Antwerp accepting anything, the “city of the greatest gullibility” as Pix phrased it.
--09-16 21:37
+=== 2005-09-16 21:37 ===
 Most of the day again spent calibrating muscles, this hopeless and futile task. Nik was out to meet with Vali re the Qfwfq proposal. (This proposal is being sent to a branch of the European Commission. I mention the other organisation, NEST, that he suggested they send in a proposal with Vali, and he explains the relationship between this organisation and the one he is sending the Qfwfq proposal to. He spends most of the day in the computer room but now comes out for longer periods to engage in certain menial tasks of Lyta’s production. He came out once to ask Pix to think of suitable alternative acronyms for Qfwfq that would be palatable to the committee to which the proposal must be sent. This is a translation of his manner of wording the question, which was of course as convoluted as possible.) Maja called Benji about the frame, and it would be ready “normally in half an hour.” She calls Hans and they go in his van once again to pick up the frame. I was in the studio about 11 am and stayed until 7 pm. A lighter mood than yesterday, though still the feeling of oppressiveness lingers. The autumn weather is cool, brisk and fresh. Various characters arrive and depart in the studio. Foton people trickle in and start making noise. Maja goes out again looking for lights to put in the installation. Next time she came in, it was with a huge bag of bubble wrap slung over her shoulders. After all these tasks she settles in to soldering the sensors at about 6 pm. Pix came in about 12:30, and fumbles about with his software issues.
@@ Line 985: / Line 998: @@
 Read Maja’s story she wrote for the HASTEN project. This is what she would have been up writing from 7 in the morning yesterday. She sent it to Maria, and the other partners in the proposed project were “scared off” by it, but the proposal doesn’t have a chance anyway, she says.
--09-18 22:39
+=== 2005-09-18 22:39 ===
 Maja suggests this morning that I come to Wolfsburg with them, since my level of involvement in the project has increased greatly. At first I refused, saying I had too much to do and that I wanted a break. “There are sure to be other installations that I can go to,” I say. But Maja replies, “Probably not for a long time.” But on second thoughts, I accepted. Bois said that I had to come, since it made no sense just to see the “nasty” part of the project so far and miss out on the “good” part when it gets installed. More heavy work today, angle grinding, lifting and positioning the frames, the glass, and the plexiglass. Nik spends the day alternately working on his Qfwfq proposal in the computer room, pumping the drain pipes, and sporadically helping and making comments about Lyta.
@@ Line 1005: / Line 1018: @@
 The glass on the sides and the plexiglass on the front don’t work well together. “Who is the designer of this project,” asks Bois. Maja: “Good question - everyone and no one.”
--09-19 18:28
+=== 2005-09-19 18:28 ===
 Pix has set up a PD patch that works with two values of the muscles. After Todor left, he felt he could go all out and program entirely in C, leaving behind PD. But in “a bit of a blow to the ego” he’s had to stoop again to using PE, possibly a new version that can display graphs of the activity.
@@ Line 1017: / Line 1030: @@
 Nik has been communicating to Merlin in very curt emails. Maja thinks this is good because whenever she sent one of her long emails it always “scared them off,” so she no longer wants to write or phone them.
--09-20 11:29
+=== 2005-09-20 ===
+:29
 Someone from Merlin (was it Mark?) called last night when I was not present at the studio. Nik’s account was that they had “perhaps” finally understood the severity of the situation, that no one would get paid if the muscles didn’t arrive on time and the installation was late, and furthermore FoAM would be liable for damages. However, later I hear that Merlin are blaming FoAM for up to 90 per cent of the failures because FoAM has not handled the muscles with sufficient care. Nik suggested that someone from Merlin come to Brussels after FoAM has finished the installation in Wolfsburg, to discuss matters in person. At lunch today Hans and Peter join us, and debates continue regarding the management of FoAM’s legal position vis-à-vis Merlin. Peter suggests sending a registered letter in reply to Merlin’s invoice which will hold FoAM in good legal stead, but everyone agrees that if and when this is sent “shit will really hit the fan.” Debates regarding the payment or non-payment of the invoice in view that Merlin have not delivered the agreed upon amount of muscles. Bois suggests sending €5-10. Bois jokes sarcastically again that reasons for delays were due to “the bosses going on holiday,” further aggravating Maja, who in any case can’t hide that she is at her wit’s end.
@@ Line 1037: / Line 1052: @@
 An early night; left the studio at 1 am. Maja had “collapsed,” Pix had fallen asleep on the bean bags and was snoring loudly, Bois and I continued to fit the glass to the cabinet.
--09-23 12:34
+=== 2005-09-23 ===
+:34
 Yesterday: A gruelling day. Everyone becomes involved in the final packing, with Hans and Peter called over to lift the cabinets into the truck with Nik and I. The studio looks very empty without the massive metal boxes of Lyta standing in the middle, even though piles of junk are still strewn in all the corners and under the tables. Nik, Maja, and Lina were planning to leave in the truck at about 8 pm, but packing itself didn’t stop until 12. Predictably, everything takes longer than expected. Nik spends all evening in the truck packing. He tells the others to put everything in boxes and organise what to take, and he will just “pack them up in the truck.”
@@ Line 1059: / Line 1076: @@
 Pix mentions that Maja said to him that she wonders how much this Lyta project has damaged FoAM’s relations with its collaborators. He says that it’s only through “incredible altruism” that anyone remains with FoAM to work on this project. Yes people have left, but any sane person would. He knows they’ve got a lot on their backs but that’s no excuse for them not to be aware in the back of their minds the position and imposition in which they place the others working for them. He says he would feel much better if Nik or Maja were to at least offer their thanks and apologies that he was really stepping out of his way for them. As it is, they seem incapable of doing this right now, he observes. Furthermore, it was their responsibility to cancel the project if it seemed that it was going badly. Nevertheless, even Pix confesses to being excited by the “journey” of Lyta, the more so the more others say how impossible the project will be to do.
--09-30 13:18
+=== 2005-09-30 ===
+:18
 I am so very unsuited to this task, to this “field.” Always I think that someone else could do this job, in these circumstances, so much better than myself. However, be that as it may, this is where I find myself, this is where I got myself, so I must make use of what is before me as best I can. As long as I remember that afterwards, when this is over, I shall probably end up doing something entirely different; and as long as I don’t try to portray myself as anything other. For whatever reason I have needed to go through with this, though it is often very awkward and uncomfortable, and I long for the sense of schizophrenic division to be over.
@@ Line 1075: / Line 1094: @@
 :21
-Last weekend, Wolfsburg
+[Last weekend, Wolfsburg]
 Neither Pix nor I had enough sleep the night before our departure on Friday afternoon, therefore we were fairly worn out even before the long journey began. Maja phoned to say they had arrived in one piece, bolted Lyta to the floor of the museum, and had lunch, but nothing more. Pix and I hung around the studio for most of the afternoon; I went back to the apartment briefly. At about 6.30 pm Pix tried calling Bois, but Bois hung up on him. Just as we decided to have a pizza while waiting, Bois called me, saying that he was in heavy traffic but could be at the train station in about an hour. Pix was annoyed that we were summoned at the last minute to get on a train that we barely had time to reach the station to catch. He had done something to his ankles and was limping whenever we had to walk anywhere. We set off on the train to Antwerp as the evening gloom was deepening, and arrived in the dark.
@@ Line 1099: / Line 1118: @@
 Apparently on the final day (the day after I left with Bois and Sylvie back to Brussels) there was a moment of satisfaction for all the team, everyone was smiling and laughing and Pix had a big grin on his face and said that now he felt all his programming had been worthwhile after all, according to Maja.
--10-02 17:53
+=== 2005-10-02 ===
-Yesterday:
+:53
+[Yesterday:]
 I was out looking at apartments yesterday afternoon; I came in very briefly after eating lunch (at Tree and Leaf!). The Foton people were preparing for their party; the old armchairs and couches had been placed along the footpath beside the canal, on both sides, and candles in large clay dishes had been rowed all along on either side of the canal footpaths. Lina was in the studio, asked after my apartment-hunting efforts. She was helping Hans with some fabric to be put up on the walls for the party; Hans had only four hours’ sleep the night before, and he had to be awake for the whole of the coming night. I was leaving just as Nik, Maja, and Bois came in. They were about to move the compressor out, and I stammered I had to go and look at an apartment now, I couldn’t help.
@@ Line 1115: / Line 1136: @@
 Everyone was sitting round the dinner table when I returned. They joked about the special chair I had for observing. Food was being dished out by the caterers for Foton and anyone else who happened to turn up. There were a few characters I’ve never seen before; one person came in saying “Ah, so here’s the centre from where it all comes!” As I sat outside listening to Jo’s music I felt again that I never wanted to end up as one of those “rave culture” social theorists.
--10-03 21:20
+=== 2005-10-03 21:20 ===
 Today, it is getting dark. Nik and Maja have been lurking in their room all day, hardly ever emerging. It is cold and sometimes rains outside. The ghostly forlornness of an apartment in sleep.
@@ Line 1135: / Line 1156: @@
 Maja left to go to the bank, but not this time to do any financial transactions: this was to visit the National Belgian Bank that had expressed interest in commissioning FoAM to do something for their offices. A little later the door chime sounded; a representative from the bank had come to FoAM to talk. Lina called Maja to return immediately, made coffee for the man and had to keep him occupied until Maja arrived. Maja had a longish discussion in Dutch with him that I didn’t try to listen to, and afterwards she said he was “overwhelmed” by the studio and FoAM’s projects, but constantly warned her that the bank was “conservative.” He asked if they could do screensavers. Apparently some kind of sound installation was proposed for a “really horrible” corridor with red carpet and marble pillars. But the representative had to suggest it to his superior, who himself had to take the idea to a committee for approval. Maja mentioned the Lyta budget and the bank representative said that they didn’t have that much for funding any installation FoAM may do. Apparently the bank has 1,800 artworks already, but everyone speculated that they simply bought paintings and such which would usually cost around €10-15,000 a piece. Then Maja gets a call and everyone bursts out laughing when in the course of what otherwise sounds like a perfectly serious conversation in Dutch she sprouts the phrases “fruity ferret” and “crunchy ferret.” The conversation was with regard to another big shipment of ferret paraphernalia from a specialist store in the Netherlands.
--10-05 15:13
+=== 2005-10-05 15:13 ===
 Yesterday was Nik’s birthday; him, Maja and Genevieve left for the French Ardennes yesterday midday to stay the night.
@@ Line 1145: / Line 1166: @@
 Pix has at last got it to work. “16 frames a second,” he mentions. He alternately bobs himself in front of the camera and clicks at the computers. He keeps muttering “Lyta all over again!”
--10-07 14:33
+=== 2005-10-07 14:33 ===
 Discussion with Pix regarding the entire FoAM approach, to Lyta, to collaboration, to communication.
@@ Line 1151: / Line 1172: @@
 Even though he felt a sense of excitement at times in the heat of Lyta’s production when from the outside it would have seemed they were all doing something pointless and painful to themselves, he can’t see what he got out of it in the end. Even if he didn’t get any financial reimbursement for the immense amount of unpaid work he’d done for the project, spending many all-nighters programming, coming to Brussels so often for so long while still paying rent for his flat in Berlin, he would like something - some recognition for his efforts and how much he has put himself out for FoAM. They can’t pay him, of course, they don’t have anything to pay him with. But if there is something - he can’t say exactly what it is he wants - some recognition, then the collaboration is still among friends and does not become a matter of “score keeping.” He says that if he asked directly for money, for how much he could expect to get paid, the working relationship immediately becomes one of score keeping, of how much I’m getting paid, how much they are getting paid, and how this compares. This changes the kind of relationship entirely. He mentions the vagueness of Nik and Maja when he asked them if there was any money they could pay him for his work. He asked before a long time ago, and they vaguely said there was some money; he asked later, when it was all crazy and the opportunity to cancel the project had basically passed, and they said there was none.
--10-10 12:24 AGM
+----
+=== 2005-10-10 AGM ===
+:24
 Nik, Maja, Lina, Peter, Hans, Vali, Pix, Cocky, Theun, Alkan
@@ Line 1540: / Line 1565: @@
 ----
--10-11 20:54
+=== 2005-10-11 ===
+:54
 [Continued based on memory after my laptop batteries ran out…]
@@ Line 1556: / Line 1583: @@
 Discussion of cleaning; discussion of cooking and food budget.
--10-11 21:43
+:43
 Summarisation of last weekend and the first half of the week:
@@ Line 1584: / Line 1611: @@
 The peculiar contrast between the “backstage” of Pix’s computer setup and the rumpus on the other side of the fabric partition. The incongruity of watching the aerial view of the children bouncing round in the blob on Pix’s computer screen, alongside the readouts of his PE patch. [Pix mentioned in the AGM that he’d archived all three hours' footage of this video stream and put it online in the format of a number of low-res avi movies.]
--10-14 14:35
+=== 2005-10-14 14:35 ===
 The other night: involved discussion with Nik and Maja re cooking in the studio, the problems surrounding this. Maja doesn’t want to be locked into cooking so much at the studio; she decided this a few months ago. Nik mentions that in all the studios and studio-like places he’s worked, every one has fallen apart over the issues of cooking and cleaning. Maja wants to discourage treating the studio as an all-purpose living space. Nik seemed more moderate in this regard, and suggested that having cooked meals in the studio did make a difference to how people felt about working there, even if they might not themselves recognise it. Maja stressed that the studio was a “nice” place to be, it was pleasant and easy to watch movies, eat and drink. (Nik contrasted it to the other studio they had, which apparently wasn’t a pleasant place to be in and therefore there was no reason to use the working space for anything else but work.)
@@ Line 1596: / Line 1623: @@
 I finally got my identity card from City Hall; Nik and Maja were eager to see it, perhaps because they didn’t believe that it was so easy for me to get it.
--10-17 11:53
+=== 2005-10-17 ===
+:53
 Last Saturday: Maja discussed the EC proposal with Hans and Peter.
@@ Line 1610: / Line 1639: @@
 Vacuous meeting with two curators who presented at the conference yesterday (Jacob Lillemose and Sarah Cook). It seemed like they didn’t quite know what they were doing in the studio. I met Dirk De Wit for the first time, who came with them to the studio; he had arranged for the them to visit, apparently. Magda was mentioned, it seems that Sarah knows Magda independently. They came early, about quarter past two when everyone thought the meeting was at three. Maja was not there, Nik called her and she said she was staying home the whole day sick. The curators asked few questions, seemed rather uninterested. At no point did they indicate that they wanted to find out more about what FoAM was doing, or to follow this up in future. Lina started off the talk by saying that FoAM was interested in moving out of galleries and museums. Nik pointed out that most galleries were unable to allow for a long installation period before an event that might only last a few days; whereas in theatre it was acceptable to rehearse for six weeks before the final production. But FoAM wasn’t doing theatre either, since in theatre audiences were passive spectators. So FoAM’s work possibly sat somewhere uneasily between a gallery installation and a theatre production. Lina also mentioned the additional difficulty for a gallery-based installation, in that the FoAM team had to be continuously present during the period in which their productions were put on, and cited Sonokids as a case in point where guidance of the participants was necessary to avoid the whole thing collapsing into chaos. The topic of violence expressed in installations somehow came up. Lina said it was very hard to avoid violent behaviour entirely in the kinds of environments that FoAM made, especially with adolescents. The only thing to be done was to be always present, and if the behaviour becomes excessive, to ask the persons to leave. Nik gave the curators each the txOom DVD and showed them the cards. Shortly they said they had to go, because they wanted to see some of the Argos festival before departing back to Canada.
--10-19 10:47
+=== 2005-10-19 10:47 ===
 Further discussions regarding the EC proposal. Maja says that both Kibla and the Interactive Institute have submitted all the necessary paperwork for the grant to go ahead. She is still waiting on the others. Lina, Maja, Nik and I went out for dinner and spent three hours trying to come up with an acronym for a name for a title for the proposal, but the process rapidly degenerated into a constant stream of joking. Eventually Maja declared that we should ask “What are we?” and have the proposal title proceed from that point; but it didn’t work, and we returned to tossing about various silly words for acronyms. On our way back from the restaurant, though, Nik came up with an acronym that sounded suitably FoAM-like, meaning it had the sound of many of their other names or code-words for projects and proposals.
@@ Line 1618: / Line 1647: @@
 More work organising the workshops for next week.
--10-21 18:32
+=== 2005-10-21 18:32 ===
 Visit to Nadine concerning partnership in the EC project. Maja said that they had agreed previously by email to be part, but she wasn’t sure whether they fully understood the implications. We walked to the northern side of Brussels where the oppressive glass and concrete local government offices are, bought some food from a supermarket, picked up a hire car and drove to Nadine. Lina, Maja and I loaded some chairs into the hire car for the coming workshop at FoAM, then Maja outlined the terms of the project to the two denizens of Nadine [Trudo and Ferdinand]. Nadine’s orientation sounds very similar to that of FoAM. In the coming years they want to encourage residencies that focus on research, which might not result in anything tangible at the end. But they said that there would always be some kind of “closing event” for these residencies; some kind of “public moment” would always be an aim, whether that was a workshop, a symposium, a lecture, or so forth, which could take place in a single event or a distribution of activities across time. They also emphasised that any work done, any residencies held, would be documented. Ferdinand noted that this idea of a “laboratory” was very abstract and he wanted to ensure that they didn’t always try to reinvent the wheel.
@@ Line 1626: / Line 1655: @@
 Maja says that Todor and his partner Stevie were interested in being associated partners in this EC project. Todor’s interest here lies in developing sensor networks.
--10-24 12:21
+=== 2005-10-24 12:21 ===
 Last few days:
@@ Line 1642: / Line 1671: @@
 The auditor goes to and fro between the computer room and the printer. Meanwhile, Lina, Rachel, and Joey make lunch; preparations are leisurely underway for the workshops, such as sourcing materials; I wash up; Peter and Hans leave. The rain streams down outside, unrelenting.
--10-25 21:59
+=== 2005-10-25 ===
+:59
 Clarification regarding the audit: FoAM are paying for him by the hour to “check how dirty their finances are.” They’ve hired him because to get an EC grant they need to have their accounts audited. Apparently he asked about some estimates at one point, and they said of course they estimated their budget. “But it’s in writing, of course,” he said. Whereupon Maja, who was sitting in the main studio while the auditor and Nik were in the computer room quickly wrote up the estimate and emailed it to Nik. The auditor said “Ah, this makes sense!” Nik thinks that most of the time is spent explaining why FoAM’s accounting works in such convoluted ways. Regis will come back next Thursday because there was much more work for him to do than he was expecting.
--10-25 21:07
+:07
 First day of the Soft-Wear workshops - presentations in Annemie’s studio. Last night setting up was my first time on the fourth floor - the space is beautifully set up.
@@ Line 1658: / Line 1689: @@
 Due to mosquito invasions, all the windows in the apartment were shut and citronella candles were burning for most of the evening, with the result that there was a thick haze of smoke when we went to bed; next morning we were spitting black mucus and I had a sore throat; the mosquitoes were undeterred.
--10-27 11:38
+=== 2005-10-27 11:38 ===
   * return of the auditor
@@ Line 1758: / Line 1789: @@
 ----
--10-31 15:56 Soft-wear workshop evaluation meeting
+=== 2005-10-31 15:56 Soft-wear workshop evaluation meeting ===
 Maja: evaluation of the what was good, ok, and bad in the workshop.
@@ Line 1838: / Line 1869: @@
 ----
--11-09 21:47 Tree and Leaf impromptu meeting at lunch
+=== 2005-11-09 21:47 Tree and Leaf impromptu meeting at lunch ===
 Lyta List of things to do
@@ Line 1850: / Line 1881: @@
   * 1 dead muscle already
   * boards - more resistors?
-	  * fix 2 spare boards
+    * fix 2 spare boards
   * change membrane because small cut in it
   * take documentation - parts list
@@ Line 1973: / Line 2004: @@
 ----
--11-12
+=== 2005-11-12 ===
 It is no more than pretence to say that I’m doing “fieldwork,” since I feel there is no more field and no work in this context. My role, to myself, is merely that of an interested observer-participant… anthropological, literary, or whatever. But can I admit this to everyone? Yet it is clear to me that ironically, I would be a much better observer - and therefore even a better “fieldworker” - were I not shackled with the dead weight of a presumption of being an anthropological/social/ethnographic researcher… All of this is to say that the only thing I have ever sought is freedom, no less because I have tried to find this freedom within the confines of the adoption of a role as a kind of academic researcher. Such roles and categories cannot mean much to me, though often it seems that others consider that nothing is more important (cf. Mette and her incredulity at my lack of methodology). Enough! I can abide such confines. My notes should be called “journals” henceforth: scratch out “fieldnotes” and the presumptions implied.
--11-14 13:27
+=== 2005-11-14 ===
+:27
 I think the above reflects my ongoing weariness with this role… I just want to be an ordinary agent again, if anything studying something external to humans.
--11-14 12:44
+:44
 Discussions about FoAM Holland, Nat’s involvement, the financial problems; website politics: with Lina wanting a separate website from FoAM, Maja will be the only one here without her own website. Nik has his Rorschach website (which he hasn’t updated for about five years), Lina wants to have a website for her own work but still hosted on the FoAM server. Maja doesn’t understand why Lina wants her own website: there needs to be a core group who “are FoAM” and do that as their main thing, and nothing else.
@@ Line 1992: / Line 2025: @@
 But I was in another world during the workshop, especially the second half… And it was only then that I finally felt a desire to become entangled, if not the ability; I may have caught a glimpse into that “glue” to which they intermittently make reference. A glimpse into the potential beauty of this kind of collaborative entanglement, where the demarkation line between the personal and the professional is elided and the two are indistinguishable. (And this at precisely the time when the feeling is that the group (or at least Maja) wants to move away from such an all-encompassing lifestyle.) For the first time I came to actively wish for immersion in such a lifestyle, whereas before I had always held aloof and longed to be elsewhere. This is in the end also perhaps the only interesting research question for me to pursue.
-----
 So many things to be elaborated:
@@ Line 2005: / Line 2036: @@
   * Nik and Maja work on their backlog of tasks: making DVDs, organising workshops
--12-05 18:46 Brussels
+=== 2005-12-05 Brussels ===
+:46
 Returned to Brussels Friday, 2 December. Cocky and Theun came with half the way on the train before transferring to Zeeland.
@@ Line 2031: / Line 2064: @@
 Cowboy-boot Jan, his Christmas tree installation he was going to call “The Morning after World War II.” Theun met him at art school; he was like a mentor to Theun, and was the only one on the committee to be interested in Theun’s work and keen to have him study there. They have stayed in contact since Theun left the academy. Jan loves Werner Herzog, describes him as a “martyr,” always seeking out the most difficult and tortured dimensions of human experience.
--12-05 22:53
+:53
 The very evening I come back, N and M return late to the apartment with Catherine, who chooses that moment to show her recent wedding photos: set in a grassy, English field. They had hired the paddock from a farmer who’d never let it to anyone else before; there was even some kind of arch construction of metal, though not admittedly any polyhedral domes. Beautiful green pastures; guys and girls all dressed up in suits or specially-made wedding dresses; old parents, grandparents; before, during and after shots, the respective stages of the wedding ceremony from the informal beginning to the event itself to the informal parties afterwards. N and M looked on with expressions of extreme boredom and weariness. They have seen it all before, almost a replicant. Yet they were working on Lyta at the time of 30 July, when the wedding took place. How strange… this wedding seems like it has taken place long after Rachel’s.
@@ Line 2041: / Line 2074: @@
 Much of this we discussed one night while Theun was away in Zeeland, visiting his family. (I heard he was going to a football match but apparently he goes every weekend - it is more than just football, people from that region can’t get away from their homeland, they must forever return, according to Cocky.) I left late in the evening to buy some wine and ended up walking about forty minutes to get to the nearest night store. I was thinking we would only drink one bottle but I ended up getting quite drunk on the two I bought, and Cocky recounted her meeting with Theun and how they eventually became close. They first met at a place totally unrelated to FoAM. But then they met once more, at a FoAM event. Maja apparently noticed what was happening. Thus it would be fair to say that theirs is yet another FoAM matchmaking.
--12-05 22:47
+=== 2005-12-05 22:47 ===
 Buying a chocolate bar in a small store [Grasmarkt 81] with only one other customer present, the serving girl exclaims “It’s been kissed!” The twenty Euro note I gave her had lipstick marks on one edge. The other customer, an Indian, joked loudly: “It’s been kissed and you’re giving it away!? You have to keep it!” Rather banally I reply, “But the kiss wasn’t for me.” Whereupon he chuckles and repeats “it wasn’t for me, ha ha!” and the serving girl smiles. As I walked out he shouted “Better luck next time!”
--12-06 14:06
+=== 2005-12-06 14:06 ===
 A hint of mist in the gloomy light filtering in from outside the apartment. The kid who always ran around behind the wall humming, droning and shouting during summer and autumn no longer makes a sound; perhaps it’s the cold, perhaps he’s at school.
@@ Line 2053: / Line 2086: @@
 A war-torn city, in ruins: but entirely stage-set. Every bomb crater numbered and catalogued; every collapsing wall meticulously designed, like a Disneyland. but it is not just a facade: each basement, every room has been carefully planned.
--12-07 23:18
+=== 2005-12-07 23:18 ===
 Last night Maja and Nik recounted stories of various events in the previous FoAM studio. The break-ins during Christmas. The overnight vigil of DVD watching to thwart any intruders the next Christmas. A policeman bursting into the studio midday Saturday and desperately pointing a revolver at Maja, who was at that moment walking out of the kitchen holding a cup of tea. Various agencies who, to deliver notification of the intention to repossess the belongings of the tenants because the bills hadn’t been paid, drilled holes in the door to ensure that the necessary document was delivered inside the dwelling and not left outside.
@@ Line 2065: / Line 2098: @@
 The art and discipline of annotating. Describing a discrete photo in the minimum number of words. In turn, taking a photo becomes an art in capturing a particular thought, about a scene, object, person, or event.
--12-09 16:05
+=== 2005-12-09 16:05 ===
 Today was a remarkably clear and sunny day, the sun always low in the sky, the air cold and fresh. I went for a walk, the smell of the parks and streets reminding me of Marbury, even of old houses my father used to live in.
@@ Line 2076: / Line 2109: @@
 Hans and Margo’s plans to buy land in Jamaica: Hans says there are not many employment options for foreigners on the island except to start up a guesthouse. He has a picture of himself sitting in a hammock with a cocktail in Jamaica when he gets older.
-----
 The other night at Nadine for the Openlab presentation: some fairly unremarkable installations, mainly a French-speaking crowd; Ferdinand thought it was not the usual Nadine crowd, and Maja thought this was because of the individual who organised the workshop [Yves Bernard]. (“People say that language doesn’t make a difference, but it does,” Maja commented.) Spoke briefly with Bart (Vandeput) about his installation. He was adamant that it was an experiment that involved the public merely as an input variable contributing to the experiment itself, rather than any kind of event made “for” a public. Then chairs started to be placed around the installation, a spectator-performance dynamic was thus irrevocably constituted; Bart was too busy working on various aspects of the installation itself to intervene and attempt to stop the audience forming. Apparently, few people dared actually to walk “into” the space of the experiment itself and this was only intensified when an audience was constructed. Cf. Xin Wei’s insistence that T-Garden was an experiment that utilised the public in some way as a variable solely for its own uses, any benefit to the participating public presumably being merely a by-product or side-effect.
-----
 What did I do during November? Absolutely nothing; the first half I wandered in the gardens and forests in Brussels; the second half I wandered the canals and arcades of Amsterdam. At least, through it all, I managed to almost entirely shake off my loathing of Brussels. (But the turning point was due entirely to the shift of my nostalgic yearning for the distant homeland and an escape from the Brussels prison to quite another nostalgic yearning.)
--12-12 00:02
+=== 2005-12-12 00:02 ===
 Booked Pollini ticket; small amount of shopping; stayed home for the rest of the day - extremely clear, a slight breeze, bright low sun - trying to read up about Scheme programming. Smoking. Realised when N and M came back that they had been working all day in the studio cleaning.
@@ Line 2095: / Line 2124: @@
 Maja says that things are more tense than ever between Lina and her. She and Nik feel that Lina is taking a high-handed approach, that she thinks she’s “on top of everything” and is behaving arrogantly. Maja says that Lina seems to feel more comfortable with the Foton guys anyway and is becoming more and more distant from FoAM. But in fact Lina is “totally dependent” on FoAM, for financial support, the studio, etc. I mentioned the joking the other night when we went out between Hans, Margo and Lina about “unionising,” about “firing” Nik and Maja because they were working too hard. I took none of the connotations of this joking, either implicit or explicit, too seriously, and if anything thought it was more an ironic reflection on the comparative disparity between the workloads of those in the studio. On second thought, when I considered reporting to N and M, I realised they would probably see it in a different light (which they did). Again Maja mentions the feeling of antagonism that she feels her decision to spend less time at the studio is creating with Lina, and even with the Foton guys.
--12-14 22:00
+=== 2005-12-14 22:00 ===
 Yesterday, the start of the Fluxus workshop. Maja’s mother, Danica, and her brother Goran arrived the evening before at twelve. (My chronology is getting totally out of sync. It happened last time as well. It’s so much wine, the endless day in the studio, the lack of other contextual locative features…) The next morning, 13 December, the start of the workshop with a very small group, the only “outsider” being Angelo. The rest hadn’t arrived on time and came at various hours during the day; Julien and Alejo, then in the evening Dave Griffiths. Nik, Maja and Lina went to the station to meet him; for some reason they wanted to meet him all at once together at the station. Maja presented in the first part of the morning then after lunch Nik led the installfest. Rasa had come the night before to prepare the lunches, and she had come early this day as well. People left quite early after dinner. In this respect as in many others I can’t help comparing it to the previous workshop, how much more lively that one was. In this one, at lunch we tend to be fairly demure. Gradually we open up and discuss various software matters, installing, coding, and miscellaneous matters. But there is less of the intimacy of the last workshop - no one shows their wedding photos, for example… Maja sums it up by saying that it’s not “ecstatic” like the last one.
@@ Line 2103: / Line 2132: @@
 Today Dave did a presentation in the morning and a small one after lunch.
--12-16 21:37
+=== 2005-12-16 21:37 ===
 Another Kuruvica film tonight. Maja’s mother watches it while the others sit round the table, coding in an ambience of deep gravity. Maja and Goran are working on their squiggles and inputting the sensor data. At various moments Goran bursts out chuckling. Angelo has been playing a demo of Halo all day, he’s apparently given up on coding altogether. Julien left early, at about six this evening. Coding had got too much for him today, he said, and he mentioned the way they had several projection surfaces displaying distracting animation all the time; but “everyone seemed to like it.” Peter dropped out after the second day’s discussion with Dave. Maja officially declared him a “cotton wad” (in Croatian, or another language) this evening, and announced that she would tell him. The lunches and dinners feel quite awkward though as the week has progressed, it has become less so. Angelo insists in getting me into Call of Duty. He was supervising the installation process on my laptop previously; dissuaded by the eternity that the file was taking to unstuff, he has gone back to his computer to battle with Fluxus once more.
--12-17 12:19
+=== 2005-12-17 12:19 ===
 This morning snow was falling outside in sludgy patches, dissolving immediately when it touched the ground.
@@ Line 2113: / Line 2142: @@
 A sound system has been set up in the workshop space, so now we are constantly bombarded with noises as well as the three projection screens surrounding us. Endless chatter about updating the CVS, crashing, connecting the Fluxus input with Max or PE, and so forth. Maja’s mother prepares lunch; Rasa is doing dinner tonight. Lina is doing sundry tasks, occasionally looking in on the workshop space, then returning to her illustrating. Peter has not returned to the workshop, and indeed he has barely shown up in the studio in the past few days. How vexatious I find it all today, how it all seems to be a self-reinforcing show of tinkering for its own sake, fetishism that seems to a disenchanted witness to go round in pointless circles.
--12-20 19:08
+=== 2005-12-20 19:08 ===
 the Fluxus wrap-up and evaluation lunch in Tree and Leaf. Everyone present except knitting-needle-in-his-hairbob Julien and Foton Peter: Dave, Alejo, Lina, Nik, Maja, Angelo, and, at the beginning, Goran and Danica, who presently left because Goran became nauseous. First part of lunch we didn’t talk about the workshop much at all, then towards the end everyone briefly made a comment. It was really the first lunch with this particular constellation of individuals in which I felt the mood was not stilted, awkward and reserved. Throughout the week the mood on such “social” occasions as lunch and dinner had felt to me laborious, though it lifted now and then when people started breaking the ice and discussing software, programming, or other computer matters. By the end I was very glad to see the end of this workshop.
@@ Line 2130: / Line 2159: @@
 There was so much food that a lot was left over. I was being told off early in the evening for glutting myself, and afterwards I was admonished to be the studio’s vacuum cleaner. Ah, you can never win…
-----
 The evening before, got drunk in the apartment and did little all evening. Maja and Danica returned this evening. I had just returned from shopping. Nik and Goran were in the studio doing stuff on their computers. Maja said she was called by Annemie about the hyperbolic thing. There had been a meeting about this project while I was in Amsterdam. A curator in Leuven wanted something that was “interactive,” “hyperbolic,” and “collective.” Lina and Annemie were to be in charge of this project, since Maja would be in Australia when it was scheduled to take place. But still, everyone turns to Maja - for inspiration and administration. Annemie called Maja the night before, just as she was about to switch off her phone and enjoy some peace in the Ardennes with her family. Annemie insisted they meet “this evening,” or “next evening” about the hyperbolic thing, since Guy (Van Belle) had apparently had a new inspiration for it. Maja doesn’t want to work with Guy; he has a reputation for taking over entirely and insisting on his own vision, not listening to others (though he is an extremely lively, vivacious, and eccentric character even so, as N and M were saying on the train back from the Sonokids installation).
 Maja and Danica’s accounts of the absurdities of the Balkan war and their struggles in that time. The forfeit of the family inheritance due to losing the papers, while everyone knew that it was rightfully their family’s; Maja’s scheme to escape with her friend, both of whom had just graduated two weeks before hostilities broke out and had the world as their oyster. They robbed their parent’s jewellery and headed for the last boat leaving for Italy, where Bois would rendezvous with them and transport them back to Holland where they had been studying; but they were refused entry on board, only tourists and foreigners were allowed on the boat, and there was no bargaining with the enormous armed guards, so Maja returned to her parent’s place and put back all the jewellery.
-----
 Tonight I continue to sip various Croatian cocktails while the others are out for dinner before the family leaves for Croatia next morning. Some of them are tinted a mysterious algae green, some a brilliant yellow; still others coloured a strange wan cyan (not a Croatian cocktail but absinth), and of course the familiar pinky crimson of the drenjina.
--12-22 14:21
+=== 2005-12-22 14:21 ===
 Yesterday evening the winter solstice.
@@ Line 2155: / Line 2180: @@
 FoAM receives Christmas cards from both Joe Ansel and, of all people, Merlin Systems.
--12-24 13:31
+=== 2005-12-24 13:31 ===
 Yesterday seemed to be uneventful to me, but there were several occurrences of which I was not immediately aware:
@@ Line 2177: / Line 2202: @@
 Our conversations recapitulate and build on one another.
--12-27 13:16
+=== 2005-12-27 13:16 ===
 The orphan Christmas at FoAM, Christmas day. The strange affair of the Natalie Renard letters. We decided to use them as presents, not remotely considering the possibility that someone would actually know this “Natalie Renard” or the people mentioned in the letters. Jo was the lucky recipient in the lucky draw, but it quickly emerged that no less than *two* people in the room knew Natalie. One woman, who was living in Natalie’s old apartment; and another man, who was apparently Natalie’s lover six years ago. It was agreed that the whole episode was highly peculiar and mysterious. The group spent the rest of the evening in great mirth, sitting round reading out the atrocious prose of “Helge,” Natalie Renard’s desperate and pathetic correspondent.
-----
 The question of why the Ministry is happy to support an event where just “seven people get together and talk with each other” (as Nik sardonically observed) such as in the recent workshop. Maja says they will go along with it if they get funding for doing such activities, but it’s strange that such things are deemed worthwhile to support while others are not, and she doesn’t really see the logic. After all, they are interested in public engagement.
@@ Line 2187: / Line 2210: @@
 …Apropos of this, Hans just arrived in the studio and said that the Flemish Ministry did some kind of research and based on the results they contacted him saying that FoAM and Foton could not be collaborating together, since they were one and the same organisation with “identical people.” Nik doesn’t know how this could have come about and wonders what sort of research they could have done to get such an impression. The Ministry did this “research” after receiving Foton’s funding application.
--12-29 17:46
+=== 2005-12-29 17:46 ===
 Discussions last night: Nik’s concern that the next two years will become filled with other projects and activities, leaving no time for what he thinks is most necessary: to reflect on “what we’ve been doing for the last five years,” because if this is not done it would really all have been somewhat “pointless.” He envisages this as taking a year or more to do properly. Yet they have three DVDs to make before they leave in February, which they don’t think is enough time. But to put it off until they return would eat into the rest of their time in which Nik wants to spend in research and reflection.
@@ Line 2197: / Line 2220: @@
 N and M write the email to Merlin and send it in the afternoon. According to Maja the email is quite savage, but upon reading it I’m surprised by its mildness. Nik says that this is because when Merlin initiate a fracas, FoAM can point lawyers to this “perfectly reasonable” email as a backup when the vitriol starts to pour.
--12-30 15:31
+=== 2005-12-30 15:31 ===
 More food organisation for tomorrow’s new year’s eve party at Hans’s house; I spend more money on food than almost anything else…
@@ Line 2203: / Line 2226: @@
 This afternoon shopping with Maja, continuous snowfall, the streets covered in fluffy white icing sugar. Now a fine rain falls and the snow has turned to grey sludge.
--01-06 15:29
+=== 2006-01-06 ===
+:29
 By chance happened to be present at the sneak preview of Foton’s promotional DVD “Propaganda 1” last evening. Present were Peter, Susanne, Hans, and another woman ([Diana,] who was acting as their marketing agent, Maja later informed me), who sat in the lounge projection area and viewed the DVD straight through, then engaged in a lengthy commenting session. The guy [Max] actually designing the DVD, who has frequently been making an appearance at the studio, left before they had the screening (Maja wondered why and commented that it was an “interesting” way of working). They started in Dutch, but since Susanne was present and they also involved me a little in the discussion they switched to English for a while. Hans was saying the DVD should serve as their “business card,” perhaps as part of a more comprehensive “business card package.” It was meant to create an “image,” according to Peter, and its purpose would be served if it gave a little information but not too much, and stimulated the viewer to make further enquiries.
@@ Line 2213: / Line 2238: @@
 Further discussions last night about postmodernism, how it held out “promises that were never realised or fulfilled” [Maja]. It made sense to Maja for a while, coming from a country in which a socialist system was breaking down; then a few years later it didn’t and she’d moved on to other things. Mention of the mad postmodern theorist Nick Land and his obsession with snake symbols. Nik discusses Tibetan logic and why it didn’t evolve into a mathematical system from which computing languages could emerge, as did the Aristotelean branch of philosophy. How different our computing systems might be if Heraclitus instead of Aristotle had prevailed in the Western philosophical tradition, he reflects.
--01-06 19:22
+:22
 Helena and Sergio arrived 31 December from Bologna. We had been cooking all day, and not long after they arrived (their airline was repeatedly delayed) we set off for the new year’s party at Hans’s house. The last evening of the Plaisir d’hiver lights; but the light show in the Grand Place had already been shut down.
@@ Line 2229: / Line 2254: @@
 Walks in the country near the chateau. The strange empty country town feeling, everything closed, deserted; occasionally some children playing in a car park. The descent of dusk, the endless cold, no dinner when we return to the chateau, we must drive to a nearby town to a restaurant.
--01-07 23:33
+=== 2006-01-07 23:33 ===
-- Peter’s enquiries into why Foton’s proposal was declined reveal that, basically, the Ministry didn’t read their proposal closely
+  * Peter’s enquiries into why Foton’s proposal was declined reveal that, basically, the Ministry didn’t read their proposal closely
-- Maja writes a letter to the Ministry, because their conflation of Foton and FoAM has implications for FoAM’s reputation; the funding decisions and their rationale are published in government publications, on the Ministry’s website, and in a widely circulated local newspaper [Maja couldn’t specify which]
+  * Maja writes a letter to the Ministry, because their conflation of Foton and FoAM has implications for FoAM’s reputation; the funding decisions and their rationale are published in government publications, on the Ministry’s website, and in a widely circulated local newspaper [Maja couldn’t specify which]
-- the “five years of FoAM” DVD has been dropped from the agenda since there is now the Xmedk publication to finalise before they leave for Australia; Maja works on the last big text for the TRG publication; there is only an epilogue and something from Tim B to be done before it can be produced; Nik has the accounting for Lyta to do; and they also have to plan for a presentation at a Canberra university
+  * the “five years of FoAM” DVD has been dropped from the agenda since there is now the Xmedk publication to finalise before they leave for Australia; Maja works on the last big text for the TRG publication; there is only an epilogue and something from Tim B to be done before it can be produced; Nik has the accounting for Lyta to do; and they also have to plan for a presentation at a Canberra university
--01-08 23:27
+=== 2006-01-08 23:27 ===
 Has it been worth all the effort over the last five years, Nik sighs rhetorically. Reading Maja’s article for the TRG book has made him despondent. It reflects for him the lack of development of the concepts behind the TRG project, and doesn’t include anything along the lines of a “how-to” for making an immersive environment. Maja says she couldn’t write it otherwise, because they did indeed merely skim off theories from several texts in fragments, trying to develop a mixed reality world as best they could in the timeframe they had. Mentions of whether Cocky and Lina understood anything to do with the conceptual dimension of the project. Maja says they could understand this dimension if it was made basic enough; then they would become interested and inspired. Nik asks her if she is proud of the project; which led to the question whether there were any mixed reality projects at all that were worthwhile. Maja mentions Whispers, Sensory Circus, and another mixed reality project; but none of these was so very good… The difficulty of collaboration or coordination on the level of the concept, as distinct from fabricating the materials, the space, and the media. Maja had spent the entire day rewriting the article and the epilogue. Nik was gloomy and morose (also about how long he feels it is taking him to make a ten-minute Fluxus animation for the Bent Object DVD). Both aver that the conceptual dimension, and exploring ideas of consciousness and reality, is what interests them most in this field; and both feel that this is exactly what has been insufficiently developed.
@@ Line 2241: / Line 2266: @@
 The interweaving of so many dimensions to such endeavours as building mixed reality environments. And in the end, is any of it worthwhile? What have they achieved? Why are they doing this stuff? Where is it going? If only they could find the time to work on a single project in greater depth. Would any of this make any difference to the final result though? Are they seeking the impossible? Is it delusion or idealism, or both? And so forth.
--01-09 22:54
+=== 2006-01-09 22:54 ===
 Meeting with Foton about the Bent Object DVD.
@@ Line 2249: / Line 2274: @@
 [2006-01-11: They are indeed police-like and serve the same function as the RIAA does in America, it seems.]
--01-10 19:53
+=== 2006-01-10 19:53 ===
 Buds have been appearing on the barren winter trees since December, and now they are clearly visible.
@@ Line 2255: / Line 2280: @@
 Last night up until 4.30 am burning three DVDs. It was so pleasant walking home in the utterly deserted streets, the refreshing chill dry air in my lungs and on my face. I wished the streets were always that deserted.
--01-11 15:00
+=== 2006-01-11 15:00 ===
 Email from Merlin. N and M think it is outrageous and “totally divorced from reality” (in Nik’s words); Nik says he wanted this latest email in an interminable series of threads to at least set a reasonable basis for negotiation, and now Merlin has thrown this to the winds. Maja thinks this is a good email to forward to their lawyer. The things that N and M are most incredulous about: paying the same amount agreed on previously but instead of 300 muscles, receiving 100; instead of 8 control boards, 1; instead of continued support, cancellation of the contract. Discussion of this over dinner with Foton. Further attempts to second-guess Merlin’s tactics, mentality, and circumstances; for example, do they in fact have any subcontractors? More jokes about sabotaging the installation and making it look like an accident. Maja says she really doesn’t want anything to happen to Lyta now it’s installed; she thinks it’s nice and besides has caused so many people such a headache.
@@ Line 2263: / Line 2288: @@
 Nik has brought out all the old muscles and sorted them into piles according to what is wrong with them, in preparation to send them back to Merlin. The spectre of Lyta returns, as Hans jokes. In case they get no more muscles from Merlin, Nik wants to set aside those that have a better chance of being resurrected and not send them back.
--01-12 16:36
+=== 2006-01-12 ===
+:36
 A stressful morning in the shadow of the spectre of Lyta:
@@ Line 2277: / Line 2304: @@
 Maja just explained to Nik and I why Foton weren’t in the studio today: they’ve just finished all their work of proposal writing so they’re taking a holiday.
--01-12 23:51
+:51
 Half an hour after sending the rather severe email to Merlin, in a completely unrelated yet serendipitously related incident, Phaeno sent an email about how Lyta was (not) faring and all the broken muscles they had.
@@ Line 2285: / Line 2312: @@
 Maja says the mission statement can be summed up in the idea of “experimental media, art and technology.” The challenge is to define themselves amidst strong perceptions (in Belgium at least) that this kind of thing involves no substance or content, as distinct from video artists, for example, who can say they use video that will represent such-and-such. But FoAM’s work does not necessarily involve the representation of anything, and this means apparently that people perceive it and similar work to be vacuous. It was clear to Maja that because neither she nor Auriea were Flemish (Maja sounds distinctly Dutch to Flemish ears, and Auriea can’t speak Dutch fluently) they were not taken seriously in the VAF meeting. This is another reason why Maja thinks it would be good for Annemie to be the spokeswoman and chair of the proposed guild, though Maja knows that Annemie doesn’t really want to take on this role.
--01-12 16:48 Meeting re Xmedk publication at FoAM
+=== 2006-01-12 16:48 Meeting re Xmedk publication at FoAM ===
   * physical format
@@ Line 2310: / Line 2337: @@
 The people on this list are slated to be followed up. The editorial (as distinct from the keynote article) can be done at the end by FoAM and all that needs to be done is to add a placeholder of half a page for it in the design, about 500 words.
-----
 Aside from the publication, the idea of having some kind of festival for the digital arts is mentioned. Yves notes that the digital arts scene in Belgium is only five years old, and it doesn’t have its own festival. The idea of bringing together all those working in this field, the logistics involved, whether to have an agenda or to have no agenda at all (which Nik laconically observes would be very Belgian: to have groups working in entirely separate ways brought together). Not installations, but rather talks, drinking, performances. Maja says FoAM would be interested in workshop-orientated activities, since they are now a Werkplaats and don’t want to become embroiled “for at least two years” in more productions or installations.
@@ Line 2321: / Line 2346: @@
 The group plan to reconvene just before Maja and Nik’s departure, mid February, to finalise the above plans.
--01-18 13:05
+=== 2006-01-18 13:05 ===
   * spectre of Lyta: ongoing communication convolutions
@@ Line 2349: / Line 2374: @@
 Nik works on accounting, Maja continues editing, there is nothing too difficult at this stage apparently, but time is running out for them.
--01-20 17:45
+=== 2006-01-20 17:45 ===
 Cocky’s return from India; Lina talked to Theun yesterday, now she’s talking to Cocky. Lina’s idea of seedballing: something fast, we know how to do it, we know how much it costs. The curator wants something “more visible” than just a seedballing workshop, so Lina’s idea of making lycra spheres and weird shapes to do the workshop in.
@@ Line 2359: / Line 2384: @@
 ----
--01-24 18:17 Guild meeting
+=== 2006-01-24 18:17 Guild meeting ===
 Maja: Shouldn’t be targeting this just to the VAF.
@@ Line 2493: / Line 2518: @@
 ----
--01-25 12:56
+=== 2006-01-25 12:56 ===
 Nik realised just yesterday during accounting that Lyta was over budget another €6,000, making the total €16,000.
@@ Line 2511: / Line 2536: @@
 Annemie invited the animation producer because she felt he had been through something similar to what they were facing now in the animation industry ten years ago. He discussed the need to form a “united front,” almost like a union, while respecting the different opinions held behind that front. The animation field had previously been riven by in-fighting and lack of cooperation and this needed to be overcome to mobilise a force that the government would respect and even “fear.” Having someone paid to lobby; a website targeted primarily at insiders of the field, etc., were ways in which this front was established and coordinated. Before they did this, the animation producer said, they had been basically the laughing stock of the government. Much of this was felt to correlate with what we had been discussing in our meeting for the prospective guild.
--02-02 11:41
+=== 2006-02-02 11:41 ===
   * meeting catalysed by last Friday
@@ Line 2519: / Line 2544: @@
 Yesterday news was received from the last erstwhile member of the board of FoAM Holland that he wanted to resign. This means that the entire ancien régime of FoAM Holland has seceded quietly and painlessly and the *relance* will probably therefore be smooth, with Cocky apparently prepared to take on much of the administrative burden.
-----
 Meeting about the smoking issue with Hans, Peter, Maja, Lina, Nik yesterday at 6 pm around the kitchen table.
@@ Line 2536: / Line 2559: @@
 Smoking: Hans conceded that on the grounds of Maja’s health argument, he would from now on stop smoking in the studio entirely. Hans and Peter agreed to ask their visitors not to smoke, and declared they would stop smoking themselves in the studio. But they wanted to be able to smoke while FoAM were out of the studio, and said that they didn’t want to police their guests if those guests continued to light up after being asked by Hans or Peter. Nik mentioned later that this was “such a cop-out.”
--02-05 18:03
+=== 2006-02-05 18:03 ===
 Last Thursday there was a pollution alert in Brussels, in the motorways and in public transport, saying please consider not driving your car, thank you for using public transport, we also suggest you stay home. Yesterday the weather was warmer, overcast, and drizzly, with slight breezes to dissipate the noxious clouds of suffocating pollution that I could feel as early as Wednesday.
@@ Line 2548: / Line 2571: @@
 Nik continues to voice despair over the accounting, sighing at various moments that as it moves into the realm of pure abstraction it becomes exponentially more difficult and tedious.
--02-08 00:30
+=== 2006-02-08 00:30 ===
 Meeting re Lina’s research, but also sundry things that need to be done before and after N and M leave.
-- defining roles of Nik, Maja and Lina more explicitly
+  * defining roles of Nik, Maja and Lina more explicitly
-- “research packages”
+  * “research packages”
-- defining Lina’s research: how does her orientation fit with FoAM’s overall programme, especially now? (She acknowledges her disinclination for research)
+  * defining Lina’s research: how does her orientation fit with FoAM’s overall programme, especially now? (She acknowledges her disinclination for research)
-- fermion server crash yesterday
+  * fermion server crash yesterday
-- instructions for Lina while N and M are away
+  * instructions for Lina while N and M are away
-- Lyta: forwarding Merlin’s email to Lina to forward to Bois, Todor, but not Pix
+  * Lyta: forwarding Merlin’s email to Lina to forward to Bois, Todor, but not Pix
-- outstanding money for reports, publications
+  * outstanding money for reports, publications
-- audit 10 Feb; but consistency concerns
+  * audit 10 Feb; but consistency concerns
-- pre-payments of bills, etc.
+  * pre-payments of bills, etc.
--02-13 17:20 Guild meeting
+----
+=== 2006-02-13 17:20 Guild meeting ===
 Annemie, Trudo, Ferdinand, Maja, Lina, Michael, Auriea
@@ Line 2585: / Line 2610: @@
   * present what kind of structure? i.e. this is the guild, its aims, etc. - we need a representative
   * this person should be paid
-	  * Bart?
+    * Bart?
-	  * Tom?
+    * Tom?
   * who’s going to pay for this?
   * we should all contribute something
@@ Line 2615: / Line 2640: @@
 ----
-Before that: Xmedk publication meeting.
+Before the above: Xmedk publication meeting.
-[2006-02-22]
-Maja said after this day ended that it was disappointing in most respects. Annemie reacted strongly and in a way that surprised and even shocked Lina and Maja when she saw the quantity of Xmedk texts that we had assembled for the publication, saying that it was “just stupid” if Okno didn’t have a similar quantity of text. She continued to voice concern over our texts and suggested we would have to cut a lot out. Maja thought the guild meeting was basically a repeat of the last one with little or no new ground covered; it just went round in circles even though she kept on trying to move it on. And to cap it all, she finished the Bent Object DVD on the evening of that day, what amounted to months of work, and gave it to Peter to watch. He apparently took it home and Foton watched it, but when Maja phoned him to ask what he thought of it, he merely replied that it was good to listen to it on good speakers - not a single word of thanks. One small victory was that she and Lina convinced Vali to speak at the Mediakunst meeting in Gent on Friday. Vali had been very busy and it was uncertain whether she would be in Brussels at the time of the meeting, but Maja and Lina went to visit her in the morning and convinced her that she should speak on FoAM’s behalf.
+[2006-02-22] Maja said after this day ended that it was disappointing in most respects. Annemie reacted strongly and in a way that surprised and even shocked Lina and Maja when she saw the quantity of Xmedk texts that we had assembled for the publication, saying that it was “just stupid” if Okno didn’t have a similar quantity of text. She continued to voice concern over our texts and suggested we would have to cut a lot out. Maja thought the guild meeting was basically a repeat of the last one with little or no new ground covered; it just went round in circles even though she kept on trying to move it on. And to cap it all, she finished the Bent Object DVD on the evening of that day, what amounted to months of work, and gave it to Peter to watch. He apparently took it home and Foton watched it, but when Maja phoned him to ask what he thought of it, he merely replied that it was good to listen to it on good speakers - not a single word of thanks. One small victory was that she and Lina convinced Vali to speak at the Mediakunst meeting in Gent on Friday. Vali had been very busy and it was uncertain whether she would be in Brussels at the time of the meeting, but Maja and Lina went to visit her in the morning and convinced her that she should speak on FoAM’s behalf.
--02-22 20:53
+=== 2006-02-22 20:53 ===
 Today, the guild meeting at VAF, headed by Dirk de Wit. I was expecting a small gathering not really much larger than those that have taken place in the FoAM studio over the last few weeks; but when Lina and I arrived there were about twenty people in the stuffy, hot room. (Apparently this was because Annemie was telling people who were present at the meeting held in Cocky’s inflatable last night in Gent about the guild.) It was rather strange and felt that suddenly this “guild” idea had emerged from the “underground” of the core revolutionaries into the light of day, and it was somehow eery seeing Maja’s guild text circulated around the whole group, a text that I had considered to be mainly internal and not meant for wider circulation even among those who might be “in the know.”
@@ Line 2631: / Line 2654: @@
 Thomas talked at length about being very careful and strategic in how the guild presented itself and set about establishing connections with other players who would be of more or less strategic importance for its cause. We had to integrate with the “discourses” that the other players understood, he kept on saying. We should start off very humbly and only gradually seek to expand our reach and influence, otherwise we would risk the whole thing “blowing up in our faces.” He then went on to mention many things that had been discussed before in the comparatively intimate meetings of the founding members of the guild, like collaboration strategies with twikis, mailing lists, etc. (I presently recalled that I had seen these two at the Mediakunst conference in Gent.)
--02-23 19:37
+=== 2006-02-23 19:37 ===
 Lina has asked Pix to go to Wolfsburg in response to the recent email from Phaeno, which he has agreed to do, but reiterates how he feels he won’t be able to make a good defense for Lyta if the Phaeno staff ask about it, etc.
@@ Line 2639: / Line 2662: @@
 Vali’s talk was short and not entirely convincing in the context, since it was pitched basically as saying “here we are, please feel free to contact us” whereas the focus of the conference was more about discussing participants’ work, aims and objectives. The text Maja provided for the booklet handed out at the conference was not included for some unspecified reason; I had prepared two sets of slideshows, one to play in the background of Vali’s presentation, the other to show informally to people if they were interested; neither was used; none of us really had an idea of what exactly to expect, and therefore we were ill-prepared and spent the conference mainly just looking on. Sense of considerable futility munching the spartan “broodjeslunch” in the hallway, wishing never to be at these things again. Yet the venue itself was beautiful in a dour way; wooden ceilings and floors, black and white tiled hallways, long corridors and strange, damp rooms.
-- Cocky’s visit; the inflatable meeting in Gent; her sporadic reflections on her Indian adventure
+Cocky’s visit; the inflatable meeting in Gent; her sporadic reflections on her Indian adventure
--02-25 20:20
+=== 2006-02-25 20:20 ===
 Yesterday we met with Annemie and Ferdinand about the Xmedk publication. Lina and I didn’t emphasise our opinion since we had emphatically decided we didn’t want a fight. (“All these artists doing nothing but fighting,” declared Lina.) Annemie was set on using the Belgian designer, Marthe, and Ferdinand agreed. Their point was that it would be easier to collaborate and “push” the designer if she was nearby, and coordinating a project though email with someone in another country would be a “nightmare.” Lina mentioned that FoAM is quite prepared for such collaborations since they usually work with a number of partners spread across Europe and overseas.
@@ Line 2651: / Line 2674: @@
 Just as well, since the fine weather has broken for two days now, even though it’s still very cold. There’s clouds of pollution when the air is still, but now and then a breeze blows up.
--02-27 23:33
+=== 2006-02-27 23:33 ===
 The monthly meeting with Foton. As it got dark outside the atmosphere of tension and animosity deepened. It felt that the souring of relations between FoAM and Foton going on over the last few months had reached a decisive point.
@@ Line 2669: / Line 2692: @@
 Peter continued to bring up issues, such as why he got up and did the washing up on the night of the dinner (when all this broke out into the open with Hans walking out). He got up because it was “so damn tense at the table,” and the FoAM people were so uptight and nasty, that he wanted to get out of it.
--03-01 22:09
+=== 2006-03-01 22:09 ===
 Today, nothing but attempted troubleshooting over the phone with Nik then Pix. With Nik we finally got the calibration laptop online, at least, so that Pix could access it remotely. The rest of the day went by with Pix trying different things and me assisting where I could. The day ended fairly pessimistically, but then later in the evening Pix thought of something else but I had already gone home to the apartment. We’ve been emailing sporadically up until now.
@@ Line 2681: / Line 2704: @@
 She reiterated that she was left entirely confused about the Foton meeting. She wanted to make certain points, but realised that she herself didn’t know what she was talking about - why indeed do they buy so much cheese, for example? She didn’t want to have to wait for a monthly meeting to discuss things with Peter and Hans, and have it all blow up the way it did this Monday; things should be discussed as they arise, on a day-to-day basis. And Foton’s idea of a collective, of a “marriage” - “I don’t want to marry anyone,” she said. What kind of a collective is it when Hans is hardly ever there, just walks in and works at his desk sometimes and listens to music, and Peter usually locks himself in his sound studio and comes out like a zombie and doesn’t talk to anyone, she wondered. Peter mentioned, as a way of backing up his argument that FoAM was becoming increasingly closed off, that in the last three FoAM workshops “the same 25 people have come to every one, the same small crowd.” But it was Peter who walked out of the Soft-ware workshop; there were in fact different people at each of the workshops and Lina felt it was a good atmosphere. And as for public events, what are FoAM doing when they held TRG in Slovenia for example, with 500 people visiting a day? After that of course they don’t feel like having more public events during the year. They don’t want just anyone walking into the studio - and this needn’t be seen as “closing themselves off from the world.”
--03-03 13:36
+=== 2006-03-03 13:36 ===
 Discussions with Lina about Lyta, communication in FoAM, cooking, and a pagan in Lithuania whom Lina wrote an essay about, who had many ideas about gluing and cutting (anything glued on top of another thing should be avoided; things should be meshed or embedded together in all areas of life; the Christian religion is all about cutting, division, starting with the cross).
@@ Line 2699: / Line 2722: @@
 Lina is talking about just forgetting the meeting she was thinking of having with Foton, because she quite simply doesn’t think she can handle it at the moment.
--03-05 12:24
+=== 2006-03-05 12:24 ===
 (Further talks with Lina about Lyta; an art project versus a commercial project; the lack of expertise in FoAM for it; the price of automobiles: €15-25,000 compared to the price of Lyta: €90,000.)
@@ Line 2707: / Line 2730: @@
 ----
--03-13 Lyta report [draft]
+=== 2006-03-13 Lyta report [draft] ===
   * arrived with 87: minus 16 (dead when calibrating in studio) = 71 muscles
@@ Line 2727: / Line 2750: @@
 ----
--03-15 12:45
+=== 2006-03-15 12:45 ===
 Return from Wolfsburg; the endless exhausting trains; 15 hours working awkwardly in Phaeno with miscellaneous staff, the director, a security guard and other random “yokels” wandering past and often pausing to scrutinise us for an extended period. The hopelessness of working on something that will fail the next day. The sterile, clean hotel. The quiet and utterly dull town. Maja SMSed us at the very moment we stepped into Phaeno. She said she’d not been able to be online before. As it was, the technical director was absent when we were working so we didn’t need to have a cogent story to explain ourselves. Many conversations with Lina about FoAM not wanting to take responsibility for the project. Ulrich appeared now and then, but was very difficult to get hold of even with two contact numbers, and Lina sometimes had to call him up to five times to get his attention. He looked unhappy with a big furrow in his brow on the last morning when he checked our attempt to salvage the installation and asked why the muscles were breaking so much…
@@ Line 2733: / Line 2756: @@
 ----
--04-04
+=== 2006-04-04 Xmedk meeting notes ===
-Xmedk meeting notes
+  * the designer (Marthe) says the whole structure must be there from the beginning
+  * everything’s been done
+  * scrolling effect like on a website - because it’s about new media
+  * special referencing system - because referencing is significant in new media
+  * own pictures - taken from somewhere
+  * Vista and Caslon - “the new and the old”
+  * asked to start only when final material there
-- the designer (Marthe) says the whole structure must be there from the beginning
+  * she seemed not to understand that the material we gave was not the final stuff
-- everything’s been done
+  * must ask, how much does the design interfere with the text?
-- scrolling effect like on a website - because it’s about new media
+  * 2, 3 and 4 column system to suggest what kind of article the text is
-- special referencing system - because referencing is significant in new media
+  * the texts are interesting to read
-- own pictures - taken from somewhere
+  * why is “creativity” in so many colours? - too obvious, “childish”?
-- Vista and Caslon - “the new and the old”
+  * date and time of interviews on every paragraph??
-- asked to start only when final material there
+  * impression of a magazine that changes, some things steady
-- she seemed not to understand that the material we gave was not the final stuff
-- must ask, how much does the design interfere with the text?
-- 2, 3 and 4 column system to suggest what kind of article the text is
-- the texts are interesting to read
-- why is “creativity” in so many colours? - too obvious, “childish”?
-- date and time of interviews on every paragraph??
-- impression of a magazine that changes, some things steady
 Annemie
-- too simple, not enough images, too much white
+  * too simple, not enough images, too much white
-- overflow of text
+  * overflow of text
-- too much only text
+  * too much only text
 Nik
-- conscious decision to separate image and text so completely?
+  * conscious decision to separate image and text so completely?
 Marthe
-- printing problems?
+  * printing problems?
-- white space, breathing space
+  * white space, breathing space
-- space to read as a “newbie”
+  * space to read as a “newbie”
-- overload with too many images
+  * overload with too many images
-- with partner, am more for white
+  * with partner, am more for white
-- “openness and closedness”
+  * “openness and closedness”
 Yves likes it: it’s consistent; white background is better because it won’t be as clear
@@ Line 2776: / Line 2797: @@
 Nik
-- bringing the images and texts closer together - some articles there is a great scope to bring them together
+  * bringing the images and texts closer together - some articles there is a great scope to bring them together
 Maja
-- recurrent theme of blurring the boundary between media, become one thing, because we tried to do this in the workshops - text flows into the image and out again
+  * recurrent theme of blurring the boundary between media, become one thing, because we tried to do this in the workshops - text flows into the image and out again
 Nik
-- don’t worry so much about pulling back, more move forward and develop more
+  * don’t worry so much about pulling back, more move forward and develop more
 Lina
-- question about the colour - big blocks of colour - e.g. pink-green-blue
+  * question about the colour - big blocks of colour - e.g. pink-green-blue
-- any logic behind the colour choice?
+  * any logic behind the colour choice?
 Maja
-- likes the irregular white blocks
+  * likes the irregular white blocks
-- page numbers?
+  * page numbers?
-- transformation from old fonts to new
+  * transformation from old fonts to new
-- images, pull quotes - need to be suggested
+  * images, pull quotes - need to be suggested
-- how many more empty pages?
+  * how many more empty pages?
-- colophon must be made
+  * colophon must be made
 Annemie
-- short bios, credits - should be done ASAP
+  * short bios, credits - should be done ASAP
-- bios more about positioning the people, not what they’ve done etc.
+  * bios more about positioning the people, not what they’ve done etc.
-- credits and logos?
+  * credits and logos?
-- different fonts?
+  * different fonts?
-- more interesting to know what the person’s doing: you can look up the details online
+  * more interesting to know what the person’s doing: you can look up the details online
-- Imal introduction suggested
+  * Imal introduction suggested
-- summary list of workshops
+  * summary list of workshops
-- Imal bios
+  * Imal bios
-- scheduling issues
+  * scheduling issues
-- Yves’ texts
+  * Yves’ texts
-- the texts were final? no - big misunderstanding
+  * the texts were final? no - big misunderstanding
 Maja
-- visual treatment should have come sooner
+  * visual treatment should have come sooner
 Nik
-- which texts are final, which are not?
+  * which texts are final, which are not?
-- refinements, not big changes!
+  * refinements, not big changes!
-- everyone was busy writing things so why not make small final changes?
+  * everyone was busy writing things so why not make small final changes?
 Annemie
-- how easy is it to change the place of things if they don’t fit well?
+  * how easy is it to change the place of things if they don’t fit well?
-content and ordering
+  * content and ordering
 Nik’s spreads - more for aesthetic discussion/comparison rather than complete treatment - but perhaps doesn’t add anything to the discussion
@@ Line 2841: / Line 2862: @@
 Annemie wants absolutely final deadline
-- how long will it take to make a final treatment based on everyone’s comments? - Friday?
+  * how long will it take to make a final treatment based on everyone’s comments? - Friday?
-- do it on the same texts to lessen the workload?
+  * do it on the same texts to lessen the workload?
-- interleaving pictures with text - danger of going into one page we lose the overview…? fixing things together or contrasting? - ideally a mixture
+  * interleaving pictures with text - danger of going into one page we lose the overview…? fixing things together or contrasting? - ideally a mixture
 Maja
-- seeing the thing as a whole, with some accents
+  * seeing the thing as a whole, with some accents
-- some pages will be scrolled, some not
+  * some pages will be scrolled, some not
 Lina
-- through the visuals to unify
+  * through the visuals to unify
-- the scrolling thing is a way to do this
+  * the scrolling thing is a way to do this
 the green - why chosen? some life missing [in Matt Fuller’s article]
@@ Line 2877: / Line 2898: @@
 ----
-Foton-FoAM meeting 4 April 2006
+=== Foton-FoAM meeting 4 April 2006 ===
 Present: Hans, Lina, Maja, Nik, Peter, Alkan
@@ Line 2883: / Line 2904: @@
 [intended] timeframe: to 10:30
-Public event stuff
+__Public event stuff__
-- misunderstanding on both foam’s and foton’s side
+  * misunderstanding on both foam’s and foton’s side
-- Maja can explain the misunderstanding but suggests we forget it
+  * Maja can explain the misunderstanding but suggests we forget it
 Hans - do you actually want us to do less public events?
@@ Line 2902: / Line 2923: @@
 exhibition 18th May? - undecided
-* food
+__Food__
 Peter - impression of a history of not enough money to cover food costs;
@@ Line 2927: / Line 2948: @@
 Nik - from foam’s perspective nothing changes, but no problem for Foton to buy their own meat
-re Max -
+__re Max__ -
 Peter - Max is Foton; Foton pays
@@ Line 2943: / Line 2964: @@
 also -
-- would like to buy less chemically-evil things; more organic stuff
+  * would like to buy less chemically-evil things; more organic stuff
-- research it first and come back with a proposal in a few months
+  * research it first and come back with a proposal in a few months
-* sink
+__Sink__
 Peter - problem with sink; temporary solutions or permanent? permanent will cost!
-- not whole piping system, but sink is urgent
+  * not whole piping system, but sink is urgent
-- a good plumber?
+  * a good plumber?
 Hans - can contact the plumber
@@ Line 2956: / Line 2977: @@
 Maja - we do have budget for maintenance
-* heating
+__Heating__
 Peter - heating - demand the manager instal a separate counter - it’s his problem because it’s not legal; find out what the exact legal context is and write the manager a letter; huge heating bill
@@ Line 2966: / Line 2987: @@
 Maja - better to write the letter in french, I can’t do it; Anima Eterna are having the same problem
-- Maja to give Foton the contract
+Maja to give Foton the contract
-* DVD projects
+__DVD projects__
 Peter - compilation DVD to showcase Brussels talent - is FoAM interested contributing artistically to this?
-- list of artists
+  * list of artists
-- deadline end of this year
+  * deadline end of this year
-- financing this - one scenario: going to VAF; can’t pay for old things, can only ask for funding for new things; one option an atelier call - not put out this year - not sure about experimental workshops; therefore no calls so far this year
+  * financing this - one scenario: going to VAF; can’t pay for old things, can only ask for funding for new things; one option an atelier call - not put out this year - not sure about experimental workshops; therefore no calls so far this year
 Maja - must talk ourselves; opportunity to make a short animation
 Peter - how long for manufacturing process - leads to Bent Object DVD
-- if all goes well release date within a month - somewhere in May
+  * if all goes well release date within a month - somewhere in May
-- launch hasn’t been discussed - something small-scale but nice
+  * launch hasn’t been discussed - something small-scale but nice
 Maja - would like to do this, left with feeling that Bent Object was a client, foam was a supplier, no sense of collaboration; wish for more involvement, feeling that Susanne didn’t really care; all done without any money; was hoping for something more
@@ Line 2993: / Line 3014: @@
 - bootleg version screening in Canberra - enthusiasm
-* communication
+__Communication__
 Hans - don’t share non-work-related quality time together due to work stress, etc.; issue of communication
@@ Line 3002: / Line 3023: @@
 Maja - constant feedback and communication needed; the little meetings were about getting connections
-- unbalanced from the beginning - establish the relative weights of the contributions; need time or money for a more iterative process
+- unbalanced from the beginning - establish the relative weights of the contributions; need time or money for a more iterative process - more of a joint project if everything in loose pieces; but that would be a different project
-- more of a joint project if everything in loose pieces; but that would be a different project
+__Meeting notes, agendas:__
-* Meeting notes, agendas:
+  * meeting notes vs summaries - how do we remember all this? agenda - summaries vs. more comprehensive notes
+  * meetings are important
-- meeting notes vs summaries - how do we remember all this? agenda - summaries vs. more comprehensive notes
+  * meeting notes must include all decisions!
-- meetings are important
+  * Maja - the whole issue of the grey area - tell us what is bothering you - discuss problems before they become massive
-- meeting notes must include all decisions!
+  * Hans - put everything on hold until Nik and Maja are back, they seem to be necessary
-- Maja - the whole issue of the grey area - tell us what is bothering you - discuss problems before they become massive
+  * Peter - definition of problem
-- Hans - put everything on hold until Nik and Maja are back, they seem to be necessary
+  * nuisance vs problems - grey area
-- Peter - definition of problem
-- nuisance vs problems - grey area
 …And following from this, long discussion re communication issues, human relations, what was said in previous meetings, iterative misunderstandings, etc. No outcome seemed apparent; adjournment
--04-12 11:39
+----
+=== 2006-04-12 11:39 ===
 What has transpired here in the past few weeks can be summed up as follows: Lyta stuff, Xmedk stuff, Foton stuff, hyperbolic stuff, lots of stuff I’ve undoubtedly missed, and miscellaneous delusional stuff.
@@ Line 3026: / Line 3047: @@
 To write with plainness, dullness, coldness, austerity. To let the life behind the words more easily emerge.
--04-15 11:13
+=== 2006-04-15 11:13 ===
 Spring rain, grey sky, drizzle, languid cold. I need to write at least one alternate account of the past few months.
@@ Line 3054: / Line 3075: @@
 (…in one or another version of these notes…)
-- attitudes towards Foton after the meeting; Foton’s return to talking terms with FoAM
+  * attitudes towards Foton after the meeting; Foton’s return to talking terms with FoAM
-- Tree & Leaf meetings
+  * Tree & Leaf meetings
-- dinner previous evening at apartment 13th
+  * dinner previous evening at apartment 13th
-- brief talk with Hans on the 13th about life, leaving Belgium, debriefing about my “research,” his work at City Mind and having a fragmented working routine
+  * brief talk with Hans on the 13th about life, leaving Belgium, debriefing about my “research,” his work at City Mind and having a fragmented working routine
-- dinner at Tree and Leaf with Michael and Auriea; preview of latest version of Enchanted Forest; death of net-art proposal, subsequently not clarified (then dropped, apparently from what Auriea said in the Guild meeting?)
+  * dinner at Tree and Leaf with Michael and Auriea; preview of latest version of Enchanted Forest; death of net-art proposal, subsequently not clarified (then dropped, apparently from what Auriea said in the Guild meeting?)
-- future FoAM plans
+  * future FoAM plans
-- Hyperbolic thing
+  * Hyperbolic thing
-- Maja and Lina’s inconclusive kitchen table tete-à-tete yesterday (14th) about the Belgian Bank project, and the next round of Xmedk-like workshop calls
+  * Maja and Lina’s inconclusive kitchen table tete-à-tete yesterday (14th) about the Belgian Bank project, and the next round of Xmedk-like workshop calls
-- Bent Object stuff; the jewel case cover design (and the unhappiness of Susanne and Peter with the designer’s work)
+  * Bent Object stuff; the jewel case cover design (and the unhappiness of Susanne and Peter with the designer’s work)
-- Cocky and the Foton project with Baptiste
+  * Cocky and the Foton project with Baptiste
-- ongoing dissatisfaction with “Belgians” and the “Belgian way” of doing things
+  * ongoing dissatisfaction with “Belgians” and the “Belgian way” of doing things
-- Faust’s birthday party
+  * Faust’s birthday party
--04-16 18:34
+=== 2006-04-16 18:34 ===
 Ghastly clanging of Sunday Easter church bells this morning; the sky is leaden grey; the usual Brussels traffic congestion and pollution. This afternoon several police cars had again congested Jennartstraat, this time outside the Moroccan bar a few houses down from the apartment; several Moroccans standing round looking on.
@@ Line 3077: / Line 3098: @@
 Nik and Maja are hoping that he will be able to devise strategies on all levels for interfacing with the corporate world, a direction that they had already considered as a priority for this year, since governmental funding has proved to be both fickle and labour-intensive. For interfacing with the corporate world you need to know how to present yourself in a particular way; you need to demonstrate your professionalism; in short, you need to know the rules of that game. No one in FoAM feels confident they know enough about that game, and this is where the hope in Jack comes in. Maja expressed doubt, however, over some of Jack’s advocations. It turns out that he liked Lina “a lot,” and this may have swayed his approach and judgement; apparently he had all sorts of ideas about sending her to business management courses and so forth. (Nik and Maja mentioned this before, but without this side of the story. When they talked about discussing the Jack proposal with Lina, Nik said it would just “open another can of worms.” “So there was something between Jack and Lina, then?” I enquired. “Rather it was something not between them,” Maja responded: “Lina decided she wanted nothing to do with him.”)
--04-17 16:12
+=== 2006-04-17 16:12 ===
 Was writing the above in the apartment as it grew dark, leaving the studio under the impression that Nik and Maja were going to eat there, while I would eat alone at home; a call from Maja at 9 pm, asking where I was and if I could bring two bottles of wine to the studio since Lina had decided to drink. I had drunk one bottle already, gradually and pleasantly getting drunk and hitting on all sorts of absurd notions. There were some painted eggs on the table when I arrived. Lina had brought them from Rasa’s house where she stayed the night before, where they apparently took Easter more seriously than the rest of us. Then an extended discussion of “aesthetics” and “Belgium” ensued. What was it that made FoAM’s style (Maja: “But we don’t have a style”; Lina: “No, we do”) so unacceptable to Belgians in general, whereas when they took this style elsewhere, even in Holland, it was appreciated more? The Modernist presumption of avoiding anything that might be considered “ornamental,” “fluffy,” was felt to be somehow significant to Belgian aesthetics, at least in relation to the other organisations’ comments on the Xmedk design.
--04-19 11:31
+=== 2006-04-19 11:31 ===
 Meeting Monday 17 April at 7 pm about the “Guild” with Annemie, Michael and Auriea, Elke, Chris, Ferdinand, Kora and Thomas (from Workspace Unlimited). The late afternoon sun slanted through the high arched windows of Annemie’s loft; then the deep blue twilight gloom falling across the rooftops, offset by a chrome ventilation shaft gleaming brightly. I had never met Elke and Chris before; apparently Chris called the meeting this time round, but he looked constantly disgruntled and often walked out to talk on his mobile towards the end. One could hardly blame him since the meeting mostly consisted of long, circular debates about strategies, mailing list etiquette, what the Guild should be called, what it represented. The only consolation for Maja and I was that Annemie made good houmous, and there was an endless supply of red wine ensuring that by the end of the evening we were completely drunk. Nothing seemed resolved by the end except a list of people to be proposed to the VAF next week as representatives. For the rest, any idea of defining a wider scope for the Guild was swallowed up in endless arguments about details, about how to curry favour with the VAF, about being extremely cautious so that the whole initiative doesn’t blow up in our faces (Thomas was going on about this again). Once more the benefit of having someone from the “outside” became a topic, but once more, nothing seemed to be resolved on this front; everyone seemed to passionately and vociferously debate in loops.
@@ Line 3089: / Line 3110: @@
 Yesterday afternoon Peter, Susanne, and the designer of the Bent Object DVD cover, Max, were engaged in rather intense debates about the project; then Peter sat down with Max and in front of their computers engaged in an extended discussion in French about the design. At lunch yesterday we discussed with Peter the issue of collaboration in Belgium. His verdict was that there are historical and cultural reasons why such collaborative exercises are difficult here. People are brought up to think individually, for themselves and their near family. Furthermore, the strange dynamic of cutting those down who then try to organise something in spite of the inertia.
--04-20 19:06
+=== 2006-04-20 19:06 ===
 Yesterday went to the Hyperbolic discussion forum, organised by Dirk de Wit, with Annemie and Maja. Maja said afterwards it was a “typical Dirk-organised event.” There was little attention paid to moderation, and Dirk apparently had another conference to go to immediately afterwards so he was on the edge of his seat waiting for this one to be over. It was all in English, since there were a few speakers from Britain, and Dyna from Latvia, the hyperbolic mathematician. It was meant to be about strategies for collaboration. Discussions about software seemed to predominate. Afterwards drinks in the STUK bar with some of the forum speakers, including a speaker called Simon who was over from Wales and caught a ride back to Brussels with us, where he was staying. Much discussion between him, Maja and Annemie about education, new media culture, the way things are going, funding, economics, the pros and cons of being a small independent collective (or cooperative? Simon was making a contrast between the idea of collectives and cooperatives in his talk; follow this up online perhaps), survival strategies, etc. In retrospect I think there were some more interesting things being discussed than I gave the meeting credit for while I was there, but I was feeling fairly sick and worn out, even more bored than I am usually in these kinds of meetings.
@@ Line 3095: / Line 3116: @@
 Late meal at Tree and Leaf again, after driving through the spring dusk and dropping Simon at his accommodation, bright orange motorway lights glowing in the deep blue. Annemie mentioned that she would prefer 100 times to have Michael involved more in the Guild than Thomas, who both she and Maja thought was too full of slick corporate ideas. After dinner, until 2 am, Nik, Maja and Annemie discussed the design of Xmedk. Annemie seemed more enthusiastic this time and the discussion was felt to be productive by everyone.
--04-21 10:39
+=== 2006-04-21 10:39 ===
 Last night, meeting with Nitan, the mysterious friend of Maja’s who was involved with Starlab in the summer of 1997 (when it went by a different name) on a project designing software for a mobile device to guide users through a museum space (which sounds similar to the ideas under consideration in the ill-fated HASTEN meeting…). He’s in Brussels now liaising for pharmaceutical companies, something to do with a new drug for breast cancer, “definitely the dark side,” he says. But he has another project idea which involves going to Palestine as an activist, initiating workshops with the children there and teaching them how to use media tools to tell the stories of their lives, then putting these materials online or otherwise distributing them. He concedes it’s a tough and ambitious idea, a dangerous location, the situation there is worse than ever; hence the best time for such a project. He wants to run this initiative in a thoroughly pragmatic and businesslike way: this is where he sees other non-profit and charity organisations failing: because they get caught up in ideological and political impasses. Furthermore, he wants to ensure that mechanisms are in place to ensure the organisation can outlive himself, that it’s not based on one person’s drive and energy as the “weakest link in the chain,” in the sense that if that one person disappears the whole organisation collapses. I knew this would hit home with Nik and Maja, and after dinner walking home Nik indeed mentioned that he found these points noteworthy.
@@ Line 3105: / Line 3126: @@
 He mentioned working with an anthropologist on his PhD, said it was a rewarding and productive experience. We discussed ethnography, anthropology, and how these approaches and understandings are growing increasingly important in “media” circles.
--04-27 11:25
+=== 2006-04-27 11:25 ===
 Yesterday, email from the EC about the Grig proposal, requesting additional info and emendations to the budget. This is more work for Nik and Maja, but it’s also a good sign since it indicates that an interest has been taken in their proposal and it has probably passed the previous evaluation criteria. Now they are discussing the finer points of budget allocation in relation to the other organisations involved.
@@ Line 3117: / Line 3138: @@
 Lushness of spring foliage, flowers, something fresh (?!) in the air of Brussels.
--04-28 17:30
+=== 2006-04-28 17:30 ===
 Xmedk design. Received proofs. Maja delivers FoAM’s (annual?) report to the Vlaams Ministry building in person. It is the last day of the Foton workshop with the French-speaking crowd. Electronic and radiophonic sounds emerge from the main studio room as we sit here in the computer room, Maja proofing, Nik pushing pixels, me aggressively scavenging the FoAM archive in a bid to universally capture all information regarding everyone and everything here. (Apparently the workshop was organised by Recyclart and the participants were taking a particular university course. Recyclart apparently couldn’t follow through with the funding, however. Everyone wondered why Foton continued trying to work with Recyclart knowing that they repeatedly do this sort of thing.)
@@ Line 3127: / Line 3148: @@
 Lina returns, with a big pack full of Lithuanian stuff like cheese, meat, and alcohol…
--04-29 19:14
+=== 2006-04-29 19:14 ===
 …Which we proceeded to consume into the evening, hearing about her latest adventures in Lithuania. Weddings, meetings with designers and university professors, the sad state of affairs in relation to the state of the art over there. She said more on this in the research meeting.
@@ Line 3136: / Line 3157: @@
 Yves turned up first for the proofing session as agreed, seemed to accept of most of the graphical changes in front of the computer; proceeding to the kitchen table for proofreading, however, it turned out he had a number of editorial changes that he was insistent on. Maja managed to have him reword the first sentence of his “about Imal” article. Later on Annemie arrived and went through the proof, at the last minute deciding about capitalisation and other stylistic elements of her articles. Maja started to express annoyance.
-----
 Sometime in the last half-week, some guy from Nantes turned up in the afternoon and said he wanted to meet with FoAM because they “sounded nice.” He’d heard about them through APO33, with whom he and his collective are involved and will be doing something in the upcoming convention (“ECOS”) in Nantes this August, in which FoAM have been invited to participate. This dude handed us a booklet and some other propaganda. He was “touring” Brussels and meeting with like-minded organisations. His English wasn’t too good; he mentioned he hadn’t spoken it “for years.” Although she was busy, Maja took the time to talk to him and discuss various FoAM matters. He was thinking of going on a tour of Europe or something with his collective, and Maja mentioned that FoAM would possibly be doing the Fluxus workshop in Croatia at the time he mentioned.
--05-01 11:55
+=== 2006-05-01 11:55 ===
 Yesterday, drive to Amsterdam with Maja and Lina for the monthly FoAM research meeting. (Remember to reconstruct the discussion on aesthetics and collaboration brought up by Maja. For the rest, Maja will post the meeting notes she took.)
@@ Line 3153: / Line 3172: @@
 Nik stayed behind to work on the final leg of the design. Annemie didn’t turn up; Ferdinand appeared later in the afternoon, after having read the editorial proof and made some corrections (he said he’d read it through twice, but he only managed one pass; we were incredulous anyway that he would be able to manage to read it through twice). Apparently Trudo has been following the entire email discussions and arguments and wants to put together an “annotated version” of the magazine, annotated with the emails.
-- Mention about forgetting this round of VAF calls for Xmedk-like workshop applications, since the call, the other organisations, and the VAF itself are all in this matter so unrepresentative of FoAM’s interests this year.
+  * Mention about forgetting this round of VAF calls for Xmedk-like workshop applications, since the call, the other organisations, and the VAF itself are all in this matter so unrepresentative of FoAM’s interests this year.
-- Comments about Foton meetings: why bother this time? Are Foton really interested? But now, Hans’s email re quality time in the space.
+  * Comments about Foton meetings: why bother this time? Are Foton really interested? But now, Hans’s email re quality time in the space.
 Strange and empty feeling hearing about FoAM’s plans for the coming months as usual, and immediately reminding myself that I will no longer be present. I can’t quite grasp the phase transition, the change of state I now face.
@@ Line 3160: / Line 3179: @@
 The solderer just arrived with the control boards for Lyta, duly soldered up. When Maja shares our laments over the installation with him, he goes “arrgh!” and raises his hands to his head in empathy for our plight.
--05-02 10:51
+=== 2006-05-02 10:51 ===
 The final prepress work on Xmedk (I should be calling it XmedA now) has degenerated into an odyssey of editing, proofreading, and aesthetico-political altercations. Nik has been fuming about the “willful ambiguity” in the Yves sentence. The rest of us dislike it as well but in the end we see it as a small matter, dwarfed by other problematic things in the book including Annemie’s “funding application” Okno texts. Most of the day Nik and Maja sat together going through it page by page, word by word in another extreme design (or rather, “extreme editing”) session. As the day wore on, Nik became cantankerous and Maja started pulling her hair out as the emails from Yves continued to appear. It was their wedding anniversary, and late in the evening they finally left to have dinner and possibly do something nice.
@@ Line 3172: / Line 3191: @@
 Maja asked me at lunch if I would be going to Wolfsburg with them, to which I had no objections, so I’m going. Further altercations with Yves. Annemie asked me to proof a text for a poster of the Okno Public01 festival later this month, in which the debate about aesthetics that people have been talking about will take place. (I resumed proofing this very late after we had returned from dinner; I was becoming more drunk on Lina’s “58 per cent not water” and finally sent Annemie the re-proofed version at about 11.30 pm.) Peter announced that he is finally “labelled” again, as an unemployed artist. Before he was not in any category.
-=== 2006-06-08 19:56:29 ===
+=== 2006-06-08 19:56:29 Australia ===
 I should try to recount the last moments in Wolfsburg; I was always about to, even in the Frankfurt airport, and on the Lufthansa then the Singapore flights, but to no avail, I just stared dumbly into the evening, distractedly watching the jets touch down in the deepening mauve.
 Prompted by this evening’s re-reading the very first notes I made, over a year now in Riga. Those notes that I thought were of no importance, merely my “more intimate” jottings in preparation for the “real” fieldnotes in Brussels. Alas, a number of the details they record have already slipped my mind, what I’m always convinced will never happen, but always inevitably does. How much more so now, in recollecting the month just gone.

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