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2005_2006_foam_fieldnotes [2025-05-02 22:13] – alkan2005_2006_foam_fieldnotes [2025-05-03 06:08] (current) – using horizontal rules to "bracket out" stuff such as direct transcriptions of meetings etc. alkan
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 Going up into the cathedral open all night for the White Nights. The brightly illuminated streets of the city centre give way to the deepest gloom and darkness of the outlaying suburbs. It is terrifyingly eery and disconcerting. Going up into the cathedral open all night for the White Nights. The brightly illuminated streets of the city centre give way to the deepest gloom and darkness of the outlaying suburbs. It is terrifyingly eery and disconcerting.
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 ==== Brussels ==== ==== Brussels ====
  
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 N.B. Discovered also in this discussion that Lyta must be operative for at least two years, rather than the two months I had presupposed. N.B. Discovered also in this discussion that Lyta must be operative for at least two years, rather than the two months I had presupposed.
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 The discussion regarding shutting Lyta down [yesterday]. The discussion regarding shutting Lyta down [yesterday].
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 Todor was construed, it seemed, as the one being recalcitrant and unable to negotiate. Yet it would also be accurate to say that, if they wanted dependency charts in the first place, the whole group should have sat down and drawn up dependency charts, and much earlier in the game to boot. But everyone was too busy: Nik with the finances, Maja with some detail of the metal frames, and complained that they had no time to sit down. So Todor was not really the one solely to blame for seeming to want to avoid sitting down and discussing the project in the form of an overview of some kind. Recalcitrantly, Maja unrolled a big sheet of paper on the kitchen table, got out some textas, and started to note down in big capital letters the issues Todor raised, about five in number and mostly interrelated. Just this act, begun reluctantly, was enough to diffuse tensions considerably and soon those in this ad hoc discussion group were participating a little more enthusiastically. It allowed everyone involved to see each issue literally “on the table” - at least the issues surrounding this one dimension of safety/control, and to a lesser extent making the installation accessible to the Phaeno staff. (The Phaeno guidelines were elaborated in a thick bound A4 booklet which was lying round on the table. This is the first time I have seen them refer to this booklet.) The concern of the muscles being destroyed became paramount, and ways of shutting the muscle activity “to zero” were proposed by Pix and Todor which were all rather costly and complex. For, if the muscles were active and the air was cut off for some reason, the components would be destroyed and this would constitute a design flaw that FoAM would be responsible for (rather than a flaw that would be considered the responsibility of Merlin or Phaeno). I didn’t catch how it came about, but Maja made a phone call to Bois and he apparently suggested the use of a pressure valve that would automatically cut off the power when it detected the air pressure had been interrupted. This solution was seen to obviate the whole sequence of complex concerns and work-arounds that had already been proposed. Pix then Todor sketched a rough circuit diagram and the hastily called-together session was adjourned and we ate dinner, reviving some good humour in the process, it seemed. Todor was construed, it seemed, as the one being recalcitrant and unable to negotiate. Yet it would also be accurate to say that, if they wanted dependency charts in the first place, the whole group should have sat down and drawn up dependency charts, and much earlier in the game to boot. But everyone was too busy: Nik with the finances, Maja with some detail of the metal frames, and complained that they had no time to sit down. So Todor was not really the one solely to blame for seeming to want to avoid sitting down and discussing the project in the form of an overview of some kind. Recalcitrantly, Maja unrolled a big sheet of paper on the kitchen table, got out some textas, and started to note down in big capital letters the issues Todor raised, about five in number and mostly interrelated. Just this act, begun reluctantly, was enough to diffuse tensions considerably and soon those in this ad hoc discussion group were participating a little more enthusiastically. It allowed everyone involved to see each issue literally “on the table” - at least the issues surrounding this one dimension of safety/control, and to a lesser extent making the installation accessible to the Phaeno staff. (The Phaeno guidelines were elaborated in a thick bound A4 booklet which was lying round on the table. This is the first time I have seen them refer to this booklet.) The concern of the muscles being destroyed became paramount, and ways of shutting the muscle activity “to zero” were proposed by Pix and Todor which were all rather costly and complex. For, if the muscles were active and the air was cut off for some reason, the components would be destroyed and this would constitute a design flaw that FoAM would be responsible for (rather than a flaw that would be considered the responsibility of Merlin or Phaeno). I didn’t catch how it came about, but Maja made a phone call to Bois and he apparently suggested the use of a pressure valve that would automatically cut off the power when it detected the air pressure had been interrupted. This solution was seen to obviate the whole sequence of complex concerns and work-arounds that had already been proposed. Pix then Todor sketched a rough circuit diagram and the hastily called-together session was adjourned and we ate dinner, reviving some good humour in the process, it seemed.
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 [Before:] Meeting with Professor Pinxten, Gent [Before:] Meeting with Professor Pinxten, Gent
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 Even though he felt a sense of excitement at times in the heat of Lyta’s production when from the outside it would have seemed they were all doing something pointless and painful to themselves, he can’t see what he got out of it in the end. Even if he didn’t get any financial reimbursement for the immense amount of unpaid work he’d done for the project, spending many all-nighters programming, coming to Brussels so often for so long while still paying rent for his flat in Berlin, he would like something - some recognition for his efforts and how much he has put himself out for FoAM. They can’t pay him, of course, they don’t have anything to pay him with. But if there is something - he can’t say exactly what it is he wants - some recognition, then the collaboration is still among friends and does not become a matter of “score keeping.” He says that if he asked directly for money, for how much he could expect to get paid, the working relationship immediately becomes one of score keeping, of how much I’m getting paid, how much they are getting paid, and how this compares. This changes the kind of relationship entirely. He mentions the vagueness of Nik and Maja when he asked them if there was any money they could pay him for his work. He asked before a long time ago, and they vaguely said there was some money; he asked later, when it was all crazy and the opportunity to cancel the project had basically passed, and they said there was none. Even though he felt a sense of excitement at times in the heat of Lyta’s production when from the outside it would have seemed they were all doing something pointless and painful to themselves, he can’t see what he got out of it in the end. Even if he didn’t get any financial reimbursement for the immense amount of unpaid work he’d done for the project, spending many all-nighters programming, coming to Brussels so often for so long while still paying rent for his flat in Berlin, he would like something - some recognition for his efforts and how much he has put himself out for FoAM. They can’t pay him, of course, they don’t have anything to pay him with. But if there is something - he can’t say exactly what it is he wants - some recognition, then the collaboration is still among friends and does not become a matter of “score keeping.” He says that if he asked directly for money, for how much he could expect to get paid, the working relationship immediately becomes one of score keeping, of how much I’m getting paid, how much they are getting paid, and how this compares. This changes the kind of relationship entirely. He mentions the vagueness of Nik and Maja when he asked them if there was any money they could pay him for his work. He asked before a long time ago, and they vaguely said there was some money; he asked later, when it was all crazy and the opportunity to cancel the project had basically passed, and they said there was none.
 +
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 === 2005-10-10 AGM === === 2005-10-10 AGM ===
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 But I was in another world during the workshop, especially the second half… And it was only then that I finally felt a desire to become entangled, if not the ability; I may have caught a glimpse into that “glue” to which they intermittently make reference. A glimpse into the potential beauty of this kind of collaborative entanglement, where the demarkation line between the personal and the professional is elided and the two are indistinguishable. (And this at precisely the time when the feeling is that the group (or at least Maja) wants to move away from such an all-encompassing lifestyle.) For the first time I came to actively wish for immersion in such a lifestyle, whereas before I had always held aloof and longed to be elsewhere. This is in the end also perhaps the only interesting research question for me to pursue. But I was in another world during the workshop, especially the second half… And it was only then that I finally felt a desire to become entangled, if not the ability; I may have caught a glimpse into that “glue” to which they intermittently make reference. A glimpse into the potential beauty of this kind of collaborative entanglement, where the demarkation line between the personal and the professional is elided and the two are indistinguishable. (And this at precisely the time when the feeling is that the group (or at least Maja) wants to move away from such an all-encompassing lifestyle.) For the first time I came to actively wish for immersion in such a lifestyle, whereas before I had always held aloof and longed to be elsewhere. This is in the end also perhaps the only interesting research question for me to pursue.
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 So many things to be elaborated: So many things to be elaborated:
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 Hans and Margo’s plans to buy land in Jamaica: Hans says there are not many employment options for foreigners on the island except to start up a guesthouse. He has a picture of himself sitting in a hammock with a cocktail in Jamaica when he gets older. Hans and Margo’s plans to buy land in Jamaica: Hans says there are not many employment options for foreigners on the island except to start up a guesthouse. He has a picture of himself sitting in a hammock with a cocktail in Jamaica when he gets older.
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 The other night at Nadine for the Openlab presentation: some fairly unremarkable installations, mainly a French-speaking crowd; Ferdinand thought it was not the usual Nadine crowd, and Maja thought this was because of the individual who organised the workshop [Yves Bernard]. (“People say that language doesn’t make a difference, but it does,” Maja commented.) Spoke briefly with Bart (Vandeput) about his installation. He was adamant that it was an experiment that involved the public merely as an input variable contributing to the experiment itself, rather than any kind of event made “for” a public. Then chairs started to be placed around the installation, a spectator-performance dynamic was thus irrevocably constituted; Bart was too busy working on various aspects of the installation itself to intervene and attempt to stop the audience forming. Apparently, few people dared actually to walk “into” the space of the experiment itself and this was only intensified when an audience was constructed. Cf. Xin Wei’s insistence that T-Garden was an experiment that utilised the public in some way as a variable solely for its own uses, any benefit to the participating public presumably being merely a by-product or side-effect. The other night at Nadine for the Openlab presentation: some fairly unremarkable installations, mainly a French-speaking crowd; Ferdinand thought it was not the usual Nadine crowd, and Maja thought this was because of the individual who organised the workshop [Yves Bernard]. (“People say that language doesn’t make a difference, but it does,” Maja commented.) Spoke briefly with Bart (Vandeput) about his installation. He was adamant that it was an experiment that involved the public merely as an input variable contributing to the experiment itself, rather than any kind of event made “for” a public. Then chairs started to be placed around the installation, a spectator-performance dynamic was thus irrevocably constituted; Bart was too busy working on various aspects of the installation itself to intervene and attempt to stop the audience forming. Apparently, few people dared actually to walk “into” the space of the experiment itself and this was only intensified when an audience was constructed. Cf. Xin Wei’s insistence that T-Garden was an experiment that utilised the public in some way as a variable solely for its own uses, any benefit to the participating public presumably being merely a by-product or side-effect.
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 What did I do during November? Absolutely nothing; the first half I wandered in the gardens and forests in Brussels; the second half I wandered the canals and arcades of Amsterdam. At least, through it all, I managed to almost entirely shake off my loathing of Brussels. (But the turning point was due entirely to the shift of my nostalgic yearning for the distant homeland and an escape from the Brussels prison to quite another nostalgic yearning.) What did I do during November? Absolutely nothing; the first half I wandered in the gardens and forests in Brussels; the second half I wandered the canals and arcades of Amsterdam. At least, through it all, I managed to almost entirely shake off my loathing of Brussels. (But the turning point was due entirely to the shift of my nostalgic yearning for the distant homeland and an escape from the Brussels prison to quite another nostalgic yearning.)
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 There was so much food that a lot was left over. I was being told off early in the evening for glutting myself, and afterwards I was admonished to be the studio’s vacuum cleaner. Ah, you can never win… There was so much food that a lot was left over. I was being told off early in the evening for glutting myself, and afterwards I was admonished to be the studio’s vacuum cleaner. Ah, you can never win…
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 The evening before, got drunk in the apartment and did little all evening. Maja and Danica returned this evening. I had just returned from shopping. Nik and Goran were in the studio doing stuff on their computers. Maja said she was called by Annemie about the hyperbolic thing. There had been a meeting about this project while I was in Amsterdam. A curator in Leuven wanted something that was “interactive,” “hyperbolic,” and “collective.” Lina and Annemie were to be in charge of this project, since Maja would be in Australia when it was scheduled to take place. But still, everyone turns to Maja - for inspiration and administration. Annemie called Maja the night before, just as she was about to switch off her phone and enjoy some peace in the Ardennes with her family. Annemie insisted they meet “this evening,” or “next evening” about the hyperbolic thing, since Guy (Van Belle) had apparently had a new inspiration for it. Maja doesn’t want to work with Guy; he has a reputation for taking over entirely and insisting on his own vision, not listening to others (though he is an extremely lively, vivacious, and eccentric character even so, as N and M were saying on the train back from the Sonokids installation). The evening before, got drunk in the apartment and did little all evening. Maja and Danica returned this evening. I had just returned from shopping. Nik and Goran were in the studio doing stuff on their computers. Maja said she was called by Annemie about the hyperbolic thing. There had been a meeting about this project while I was in Amsterdam. A curator in Leuven wanted something that was “interactive,” “hyperbolic,” and “collective.” Lina and Annemie were to be in charge of this project, since Maja would be in Australia when it was scheduled to take place. But still, everyone turns to Maja - for inspiration and administration. Annemie called Maja the night before, just as she was about to switch off her phone and enjoy some peace in the Ardennes with her family. Annemie insisted they meet “this evening,” or “next evening” about the hyperbolic thing, since Guy (Van Belle) had apparently had a new inspiration for it. Maja doesn’t want to work with Guy; he has a reputation for taking over entirely and insisting on his own vision, not listening to others (though he is an extremely lively, vivacious, and eccentric character even so, as N and M were saying on the train back from the Sonokids installation).
  
 Maja and Danica’s accounts of the absurdities of the Balkan war and their struggles in that time. The forfeit of the family inheritance due to losing the papers, while everyone knew that it was rightfully their family’s; Maja’s scheme to escape with her friend, both of whom had just graduated two weeks before hostilities broke out and had the world as their oyster. They robbed their parent’s jewellery and headed for the last boat leaving for Italy, where Bois would rendezvous with them and transport them back to Holland where they had been studying; but they were refused entry on board, only tourists and foreigners were allowed on the boat, and there was no bargaining with the enormous armed guards, so Maja returned to her parent’s place and put back all the jewellery. Maja and Danica’s accounts of the absurdities of the Balkan war and their struggles in that time. The forfeit of the family inheritance due to losing the papers, while everyone knew that it was rightfully their family’s; Maja’s scheme to escape with her friend, both of whom had just graduated two weeks before hostilities broke out and had the world as their oyster. They robbed their parent’s jewellery and headed for the last boat leaving for Italy, where Bois would rendezvous with them and transport them back to Holland where they had been studying; but they were refused entry on board, only tourists and foreigners were allowed on the boat, and there was no bargaining with the enormous armed guards, so Maja returned to her parent’s place and put back all the jewellery.
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 Tonight I continue to sip various Croatian cocktails while the others are out for dinner before the family leaves for Croatia next morning. Some of them are tinted a mysterious algae green, some a brilliant yellow; still others coloured a strange wan cyan (not a Croatian cocktail but absinth), and of course the familiar pinky crimson of the drenjina. Tonight I continue to sip various Croatian cocktails while the others are out for dinner before the family leaves for Croatia next morning. Some of them are tinted a mysterious algae green, some a brilliant yellow; still others coloured a strange wan cyan (not a Croatian cocktail but absinth), and of course the familiar pinky crimson of the drenjina.
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 The orphan Christmas at FoAM, Christmas day. The strange affair of the Natalie Renard letters. We decided to use them as presents, not remotely considering the possibility that someone would actually know this “Natalie Renard” or the people mentioned in the letters. Jo was the lucky recipient in the lucky draw, but it quickly emerged that no less than *two* people in the room knew Natalie. One woman, who was living in Natalie’s old apartment; and another man, who was apparently Natalie’s lover six years ago. It was agreed that the whole episode was highly peculiar and mysterious. The group spent the rest of the evening in great mirth, sitting round reading out the atrocious prose of “Helge,” Natalie Renard’s desperate and pathetic correspondent. The orphan Christmas at FoAM, Christmas day. The strange affair of the Natalie Renard letters. We decided to use them as presents, not remotely considering the possibility that someone would actually know this “Natalie Renard” or the people mentioned in the letters. Jo was the lucky recipient in the lucky draw, but it quickly emerged that no less than *two* people in the room knew Natalie. One woman, who was living in Natalie’s old apartment; and another man, who was apparently Natalie’s lover six years ago. It was agreed that the whole episode was highly peculiar and mysterious. The group spent the rest of the evening in great mirth, sitting round reading out the atrocious prose of “Helge,” Natalie Renard’s desperate and pathetic correspondent.
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 The question of why the Ministry is happy to support an event where just “seven people get together and talk with each other” (as Nik sardonically observed) such as in the recent workshop. Maja says they will go along with it if they get funding for doing such activities, but it’s strange that such things are deemed worthwhile to support while others are not, and she doesn’t really see the logic. After all, they are interested in public engagement. The question of why the Ministry is happy to support an event where just “seven people get together and talk with each other” (as Nik sardonically observed) such as in the recent workshop. Maja says they will go along with it if they get funding for doing such activities, but it’s strange that such things are deemed worthwhile to support while others are not, and she doesn’t really see the logic. After all, they are interested in public engagement.
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 Maja says the mission statement can be summed up in the idea of “experimental media, art and technology.” The challenge is to define themselves amidst strong perceptions (in Belgium at least) that this kind of thing involves no substance or content, as distinct from video artists, for example, who can say they use video that will represent such-and-such. But FoAM’s work does not necessarily involve the representation of anything, and this means apparently that people perceive it and similar work to be vacuous. It was clear to Maja that because neither she nor Auriea were Flemish (Maja sounds distinctly Dutch to Flemish ears, and Auriea can’t speak Dutch fluently) they were not taken seriously in the VAF meeting. This is another reason why Maja thinks it would be good for Annemie to be the spokeswoman and chair of the proposed guild, though Maja knows that Annemie doesn’t really want to take on this role. Maja says the mission statement can be summed up in the idea of “experimental media, art and technology.” The challenge is to define themselves amidst strong perceptions (in Belgium at least) that this kind of thing involves no substance or content, as distinct from video artists, for example, who can say they use video that will represent such-and-such. But FoAM’s work does not necessarily involve the representation of anything, and this means apparently that people perceive it and similar work to be vacuous. It was clear to Maja that because neither she nor Auriea were Flemish (Maja sounds distinctly Dutch to Flemish ears, and Auriea can’t speak Dutch fluently) they were not taken seriously in the VAF meeting. This is another reason why Maja thinks it would be good for Annemie to be the spokeswoman and chair of the proposed guild, though Maja knows that Annemie doesn’t really want to take on this role.
  
-2006-01-12 16:48 Meeting re Xmedk publication at FoAM+=== 2006-01-12 16:48 Meeting re Xmedk publication at FoAM ===
  
   * physical format   * physical format
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 The people on this list are slated to be followed up. The editorial (as distinct from the keynote article) can be done at the end by FoAM and all that needs to be done is to add a placeholder of half a page for it in the design, about 500 words. The people on this list are slated to be followed up. The editorial (as distinct from the keynote article) can be done at the end by FoAM and all that needs to be done is to add a placeholder of half a page for it in the design, about 500 words.
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 Aside from the publication, the idea of having some kind of festival for the digital arts is mentioned. Yves notes that the digital arts scene in Belgium is only five years old, and it doesn’t have its own festival. The idea of bringing together all those working in this field, the logistics involved, whether to have an agenda or to have no agenda at all (which Nik laconically observes would be very Belgian: to have groups working in entirely separate ways brought together). Not installations, but rather talks, drinking, performances. Maja says FoAM would be interested in workshop-orientated activities, since they are now a Werkplaats and don’t want to become embroiled “for at least two years” in more productions or installations. Aside from the publication, the idea of having some kind of festival for the digital arts is mentioned. Yves notes that the digital arts scene in Belgium is only five years old, and it doesn’t have its own festival. The idea of bringing together all those working in this field, the logistics involved, whether to have an agenda or to have no agenda at all (which Nik laconically observes would be very Belgian: to have groups working in entirely separate ways brought together). Not installations, but rather talks, drinking, performances. Maja says FoAM would be interested in workshop-orientated activities, since they are now a Werkplaats and don’t want to become embroiled “for at least two years” in more productions or installations.
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 The group plan to reconvene just before Maja and Nik’s departure, mid February, to finalise the above plans. The group plan to reconvene just before Maja and Nik’s departure, mid February, to finalise the above plans.
  
-2006-01-18 13:05+=== 2006-01-18 13:05 ===
  
   * spectre of Lyta: ongoing communication convolutions   * spectre of Lyta: ongoing communication convolutions
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 Nik works on accounting, Maja continues editing, there is nothing too difficult at this stage apparently, but time is running out for them. Nik works on accounting, Maja continues editing, there is nothing too difficult at this stage apparently, but time is running out for them.
  
-2006-01-20 17:45+=== 2006-01-20 17:45 ===
  
 Cocky’s return from India; Lina talked to Theun yesterday, now she’s talking to Cocky. Lina’s idea of seedballing: something fast, we know how to do it, we know how much it costs. The curator wants something “more visible” than just a seedballing workshop, so Lina’s idea of making lycra spheres and weird shapes to do the workshop in. Cocky’s return from India; Lina talked to Theun yesterday, now she’s talking to Cocky. Lina’s idea of seedballing: something fast, we know how to do it, we know how much it costs. The curator wants something “more visible” than just a seedballing workshop, so Lina’s idea of making lycra spheres and weird shapes to do the workshop in.
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-2006-01-24 18:17 Guild meeting+=== 2006-01-24 18:17 Guild meeting ===
  
 Maja: Shouldn’t be targeting this just to the VAF. Maja: Shouldn’t be targeting this just to the VAF.
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-2006-01-25 12:56+=== 2006-01-25 12:56 ===
  
 Nik realised just yesterday during accounting that Lyta was over budget another €6,000, making the total €16,000. Nik realised just yesterday during accounting that Lyta was over budget another €6,000, making the total €16,000.
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 Annemie invited the animation producer because she felt he had been through something similar to what they were facing now in the animation industry ten years ago. He discussed the need to form a “united front,” almost like a union, while respecting the different opinions held behind that front. The animation field had previously been riven by in-fighting and lack of cooperation and this needed to be overcome to mobilise a force that the government would respect and even “fear.” Having someone paid to lobby; a website targeted primarily at insiders of the field, etc., were ways in which this front was established and coordinated. Before they did this, the animation producer said, they had been basically the laughing stock of the government. Much of this was felt to correlate with what we had been discussing in our meeting for the prospective guild. Annemie invited the animation producer because she felt he had been through something similar to what they were facing now in the animation industry ten years ago. He discussed the need to form a “united front,” almost like a union, while respecting the different opinions held behind that front. The animation field had previously been riven by in-fighting and lack of cooperation and this needed to be overcome to mobilise a force that the government would respect and even “fear.” Having someone paid to lobby; a website targeted primarily at insiders of the field, etc., were ways in which this front was established and coordinated. Before they did this, the animation producer said, they had been basically the laughing stock of the government. Much of this was felt to correlate with what we had been discussing in our meeting for the prospective guild.
  
-2006-02-02 11:41+=== 2006-02-02 11:41 ===
  
   * meeting catalysed by last Friday   * meeting catalysed by last Friday
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 Yesterday news was received from the last erstwhile member of the board of FoAM Holland that he wanted to resign. This means that the entire ancien régime of FoAM Holland has seceded quietly and painlessly and the *relance* will probably therefore be smooth, with Cocky apparently prepared to take on much of the administrative burden. Yesterday news was received from the last erstwhile member of the board of FoAM Holland that he wanted to resign. This means that the entire ancien régime of FoAM Holland has seceded quietly and painlessly and the *relance* will probably therefore be smooth, with Cocky apparently prepared to take on much of the administrative burden.
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 Meeting about the smoking issue with Hans, Peter, Maja, Lina, Nik yesterday at 6 pm around the kitchen table. Meeting about the smoking issue with Hans, Peter, Maja, Lina, Nik yesterday at 6 pm around the kitchen table.
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 Smoking: Hans conceded that on the grounds of Maja’s health argument, he would from now on stop smoking in the studio entirely. Hans and Peter agreed to ask their visitors not to smoke, and declared they would stop smoking themselves in the studio. But they wanted to be able to smoke while FoAM were out of the studio, and said that they didn’t want to police their guests if those guests continued to light up after being asked by Hans or Peter. Nik mentioned later that this was “such a cop-out.” Smoking: Hans conceded that on the grounds of Maja’s health argument, he would from now on stop smoking in the studio entirely. Hans and Peter agreed to ask their visitors not to smoke, and declared they would stop smoking themselves in the studio. But they wanted to be able to smoke while FoAM were out of the studio, and said that they didn’t want to police their guests if those guests continued to light up after being asked by Hans or Peter. Nik mentioned later that this was “such a cop-out.”
  
-2006-02-05 18:03+=== 2006-02-05 18:03 ===
  
 Last Thursday there was a pollution alert in Brussels, in the motorways and in public transport, saying please consider not driving your car, thank you for using public transport, we also suggest you stay home. Yesterday the weather was warmer, overcast, and drizzly, with slight breezes to dissipate the noxious clouds of suffocating pollution that I could feel as early as Wednesday. Last Thursday there was a pollution alert in Brussels, in the motorways and in public transport, saying please consider not driving your car, thank you for using public transport, we also suggest you stay home. Yesterday the weather was warmer, overcast, and drizzly, with slight breezes to dissipate the noxious clouds of suffocating pollution that I could feel as early as Wednesday.
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 Nik continues to voice despair over the accounting, sighing at various moments that as it moves into the realm of pure abstraction it becomes exponentially more difficult and tedious. Nik continues to voice despair over the accounting, sighing at various moments that as it moves into the realm of pure abstraction it becomes exponentially more difficult and tedious.
  
-2006-02-08 00:30+=== 2006-02-08 00:30 ===
  
 Meeting re Lina’s research, but also sundry things that need to be done before and after N and M leave. Meeting re Lina’s research, but also sundry things that need to be done before and after N and M leave.
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-2006-02-13 17:20 Guild meeting+=== 2006-02-13 17:20 Guild meeting ===
  
 Annemie, Trudo, Ferdinand, Maja, Lina, Michael, Auriea Annemie, Trudo, Ferdinand, Maja, Lina, Michael, Auriea
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-Before that: Xmedk publication meeting. +Before the above: Xmedk publication meeting.
- +
-[2006-02-22]+
  
-Maja said after this day ended that it was disappointing in most respects. Annemie reacted strongly and in a way that surprised and even shocked Lina and Maja when she saw the quantity of Xmedk texts that we had assembled for the publication, saying that it was “just stupid” if Okno didn’t have a similar quantity of text. She continued to voice concern over our texts and suggested we would have to cut a lot out. Maja thought the guild meeting was basically a repeat of the last one with little or no new ground covered; it just went round in circles even though she kept on trying to move it on. And to cap it all, she finished the Bent Object DVD on the evening of that day, what amounted to months of work, and gave it to Peter to watch. He apparently took it home and Foton watched it, but when Maja phoned him to ask what he thought of it, he merely replied that it was good to listen to it on good speakers - not a single word of thanks. One small victory was that she and Lina convinced Vali to speak at the Mediakunst meeting in Gent on Friday. Vali had been very busy and it was uncertain whether she would be in Brussels at the time of the meeting, but Maja and Lina went to visit her in the morning and convinced her that she should speak on FoAM’s behalf.+[2006-02-22] Maja said after this day ended that it was disappointing in most respects. Annemie reacted strongly and in a way that surprised and even shocked Lina and Maja when she saw the quantity of Xmedk texts that we had assembled for the publication, saying that it was “just stupid” if Okno didn’t have a similar quantity of text. She continued to voice concern over our texts and suggested we would have to cut a lot out. Maja thought the guild meeting was basically a repeat of the last one with little or no new ground covered; it just went round in circles even though she kept on trying to move it on. And to cap it all, she finished the Bent Object DVD on the evening of that day, what amounted to months of work, and gave it to Peter to watch. He apparently took it home and Foton watched it, but when Maja phoned him to ask what he thought of it, he merely replied that it was good to listen to it on good speakers - not a single word of thanks. One small victory was that she and Lina convinced Vali to speak at the Mediakunst meeting in Gent on Friday. Vali had been very busy and it was uncertain whether she would be in Brussels at the time of the meeting, but Maja and Lina went to visit her in the morning and convinced her that she should speak on FoAM’s behalf.
  
-2006-02-22 20:53+=== 2006-02-22 20:53 ===
  
 Today, the guild meeting at VAF, headed by Dirk de Wit. I was expecting a small gathering not really much larger than those that have taken place in the FoAM studio over the last few weeks; but when Lina and I arrived there were about twenty people in the stuffy, hot room. (Apparently this was because Annemie was telling people who were present at the meeting held in Cocky’s inflatable last night in Gent about the guild.) It was rather strange and felt that suddenly this “guild” idea had emerged from the “underground” of the core revolutionaries into the light of day, and it was somehow eery seeing Maja’s guild text circulated around the whole group, a text that I had considered to be mainly internal and not meant for wider circulation even among those who might be “in the know.” Today, the guild meeting at VAF, headed by Dirk de Wit. I was expecting a small gathering not really much larger than those that have taken place in the FoAM studio over the last few weeks; but when Lina and I arrived there were about twenty people in the stuffy, hot room. (Apparently this was because Annemie was telling people who were present at the meeting held in Cocky’s inflatable last night in Gent about the guild.) It was rather strange and felt that suddenly this “guild” idea had emerged from the “underground” of the core revolutionaries into the light of day, and it was somehow eery seeing Maja’s guild text circulated around the whole group, a text that I had considered to be mainly internal and not meant for wider circulation even among those who might be “in the know.”
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 Thomas talked at length about being very careful and strategic in how the guild presented itself and set about establishing connections with other players who would be of more or less strategic importance for its cause. We had to integrate with the “discourses” that the other players understood, he kept on saying. We should start off very humbly and only gradually seek to expand our reach and influence, otherwise we would risk the whole thing “blowing up in our faces.” He then went on to mention many things that had been discussed before in the comparatively intimate meetings of the founding members of the guild, like collaboration strategies with twikis, mailing lists, etc. (I presently recalled that I had seen these two at the Mediakunst conference in Gent.) Thomas talked at length about being very careful and strategic in how the guild presented itself and set about establishing connections with other players who would be of more or less strategic importance for its cause. We had to integrate with the “discourses” that the other players understood, he kept on saying. We should start off very humbly and only gradually seek to expand our reach and influence, otherwise we would risk the whole thing “blowing up in our faces.” He then went on to mention many things that had been discussed before in the comparatively intimate meetings of the founding members of the guild, like collaboration strategies with twikis, mailing lists, etc. (I presently recalled that I had seen these two at the Mediakunst conference in Gent.)
  
-2006-02-23 19:37+=== 2006-02-23 19:37 ===
  
 Lina has asked Pix to go to Wolfsburg in response to the recent email from Phaeno, which he has agreed to do, but reiterates how he feels he won’t be able to make a good defense for Lyta if the Phaeno staff ask about it, etc. Lina has asked Pix to go to Wolfsburg in response to the recent email from Phaeno, which he has agreed to do, but reiterates how he feels he won’t be able to make a good defense for Lyta if the Phaeno staff ask about it, etc.
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 Vali’s talk was short and not entirely convincing in the context, since it was pitched basically as saying “here we are, please feel free to contact us” whereas the focus of the conference was more about discussing participants’ work, aims and objectives. The text Maja provided for the booklet handed out at the conference was not included for some unspecified reason; I had prepared two sets of slideshows, one to play in the background of Vali’s presentation, the other to show informally to people if they were interested; neither was used; none of us really had an idea of what exactly to expect, and therefore we were ill-prepared and spent the conference mainly just looking on. Sense of considerable futility munching the spartan “broodjeslunch” in the hallway, wishing never to be at these things again. Yet the venue itself was beautiful in a dour way; wooden ceilings and floors, black and white tiled hallways, long corridors and strange, damp rooms. Vali’s talk was short and not entirely convincing in the context, since it was pitched basically as saying “here we are, please feel free to contact us” whereas the focus of the conference was more about discussing participants’ work, aims and objectives. The text Maja provided for the booklet handed out at the conference was not included for some unspecified reason; I had prepared two sets of slideshows, one to play in the background of Vali’s presentation, the other to show informally to people if they were interested; neither was used; none of us really had an idea of what exactly to expect, and therefore we were ill-prepared and spent the conference mainly just looking on. Sense of considerable futility munching the spartan “broodjeslunch” in the hallway, wishing never to be at these things again. Yet the venue itself was beautiful in a dour way; wooden ceilings and floors, black and white tiled hallways, long corridors and strange, damp rooms.
  
-- Cocky’s visit; the inflatable meeting in Gent; her sporadic reflections on her Indian adventure+Cocky’s visit; the inflatable meeting in Gent; her sporadic reflections on her Indian adventure
  
-2006-02-25 20:20+=== 2006-02-25 20:20 ===
  
 Yesterday we met with Annemie and Ferdinand about the Xmedk publication. Lina and I didn’t emphasise our opinion since we had emphatically decided we didn’t want a fight. (“All these artists doing nothing but fighting,” declared Lina.) Annemie was set on using the Belgian designer, Marthe, and Ferdinand agreed. Their point was that it would be easier to collaborate and “push” the designer if she was nearby, and coordinating a project though email with someone in another country would be a “nightmare.” Lina mentioned that FoAM is quite prepared for such collaborations since they usually work with a number of partners spread across Europe and overseas. Yesterday we met with Annemie and Ferdinand about the Xmedk publication. Lina and I didn’t emphasise our opinion since we had emphatically decided we didn’t want a fight. (“All these artists doing nothing but fighting,” declared Lina.) Annemie was set on using the Belgian designer, Marthe, and Ferdinand agreed. Their point was that it would be easier to collaborate and “push” the designer if she was nearby, and coordinating a project though email with someone in another country would be a “nightmare.” Lina mentioned that FoAM is quite prepared for such collaborations since they usually work with a number of partners spread across Europe and overseas.
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 Just as well, since the fine weather has broken for two days now, even though it’s still very cold. There’s clouds of pollution when the air is still, but now and then a breeze blows up. Just as well, since the fine weather has broken for two days now, even though it’s still very cold. There’s clouds of pollution when the air is still, but now and then a breeze blows up.
  
-2006-02-27 23:33+=== 2006-02-27 23:33 ===
  
 The monthly meeting with Foton. As it got dark outside the atmosphere of tension and animosity deepened. It felt that the souring of relations between FoAM and Foton going on over the last few months had reached a decisive point. The monthly meeting with Foton. As it got dark outside the atmosphere of tension and animosity deepened. It felt that the souring of relations between FoAM and Foton going on over the last few months had reached a decisive point.
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 Peter continued to bring up issues, such as why he got up and did the washing up on the night of the dinner (when all this broke out into the open with Hans walking out). He got up because it was “so damn tense at the table,” and the FoAM people were so uptight and nasty, that he wanted to get out of it. Peter continued to bring up issues, such as why he got up and did the washing up on the night of the dinner (when all this broke out into the open with Hans walking out). He got up because it was “so damn tense at the table,” and the FoAM people were so uptight and nasty, that he wanted to get out of it.
  
-2006-03-01 22:09+=== 2006-03-01 22:09 ===
  
 Today, nothing but attempted troubleshooting over the phone with Nik then Pix. With Nik we finally got the calibration laptop online, at least, so that Pix could access it remotely. The rest of the day went by with Pix trying different things and me assisting where I could. The day ended fairly pessimistically, but then later in the evening Pix thought of something else but I had already gone home to the apartment. We’ve been emailing sporadically up until now. Today, nothing but attempted troubleshooting over the phone with Nik then Pix. With Nik we finally got the calibration laptop online, at least, so that Pix could access it remotely. The rest of the day went by with Pix trying different things and me assisting where I could. The day ended fairly pessimistically, but then later in the evening Pix thought of something else but I had already gone home to the apartment. We’ve been emailing sporadically up until now.
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 She reiterated that she was left entirely confused about the Foton meeting. She wanted to make certain points, but realised that she herself didn’t know what she was talking about - why indeed do they buy so much cheese, for example? She didn’t want to have to wait for a monthly meeting to discuss things with Peter and Hans, and have it all blow up the way it did this Monday; things should be discussed as they arise, on a day-to-day basis. And Foton’s idea of a collective, of a “marriage” - “I don’t want to marry anyone,” she said. What kind of a collective is it when Hans is hardly ever there, just walks in and works at his desk sometimes and listens to music, and Peter usually locks himself in his sound studio and comes out like a zombie and doesn’t talk to anyone, she wondered. Peter mentioned, as a way of backing up his argument that FoAM was becoming increasingly closed off, that in the last three FoAM workshops “the same 25 people have come to every one, the same small crowd.” But it was Peter who walked out of the Soft-ware workshop; there were in fact different people at each of the workshops and Lina felt it was a good atmosphere. And as for public events, what are FoAM doing when they held TRG in Slovenia for example, with 500 people visiting a day? After that of course they don’t feel like having more public events during the year. They don’t want just anyone walking into the studio - and this needn’t be seen as “closing themselves off from the world.” She reiterated that she was left entirely confused about the Foton meeting. She wanted to make certain points, but realised that she herself didn’t know what she was talking about - why indeed do they buy so much cheese, for example? She didn’t want to have to wait for a monthly meeting to discuss things with Peter and Hans, and have it all blow up the way it did this Monday; things should be discussed as they arise, on a day-to-day basis. And Foton’s idea of a collective, of a “marriage” - “I don’t want to marry anyone,” she said. What kind of a collective is it when Hans is hardly ever there, just walks in and works at his desk sometimes and listens to music, and Peter usually locks himself in his sound studio and comes out like a zombie and doesn’t talk to anyone, she wondered. Peter mentioned, as a way of backing up his argument that FoAM was becoming increasingly closed off, that in the last three FoAM workshops “the same 25 people have come to every one, the same small crowd.” But it was Peter who walked out of the Soft-ware workshop; there were in fact different people at each of the workshops and Lina felt it was a good atmosphere. And as for public events, what are FoAM doing when they held TRG in Slovenia for example, with 500 people visiting a day? After that of course they don’t feel like having more public events during the year. They don’t want just anyone walking into the studio - and this needn’t be seen as “closing themselves off from the world.”
  
-2006-03-03 13:36+=== 2006-03-03 13:36 ===
  
 Discussions with Lina about Lyta, communication in FoAM, cooking, and a pagan in Lithuania whom Lina wrote an essay about, who had many ideas about gluing and cutting (anything glued on top of another thing should be avoided; things should be meshed or embedded together in all areas of life; the Christian religion is all about cutting, division, starting with the cross). Discussions with Lina about Lyta, communication in FoAM, cooking, and a pagan in Lithuania whom Lina wrote an essay about, who had many ideas about gluing and cutting (anything glued on top of another thing should be avoided; things should be meshed or embedded together in all areas of life; the Christian religion is all about cutting, division, starting with the cross).
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 Lina is talking about just forgetting the meeting she was thinking of having with Foton, because she quite simply doesn’t think she can handle it at the moment. Lina is talking about just forgetting the meeting she was thinking of having with Foton, because she quite simply doesn’t think she can handle it at the moment.
  
-2006-03-05 12:24+=== 2006-03-05 12:24 ===
  
 (Further talks with Lina about Lyta; an art project versus a commercial project; the lack of expertise in FoAM for it; the price of automobiles: €15-25,000 compared to the price of Lyta: €90,000.) (Further talks with Lina about Lyta; an art project versus a commercial project; the lack of expertise in FoAM for it; the price of automobiles: €15-25,000 compared to the price of Lyta: €90,000.)
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 ---- ----
  
-2006-04-12 11:39+=== 2006-04-12 11:39 ===
  
 What has transpired here in the past few weeks can be summed up as follows: Lyta stuff, Xmedk stuff, Foton stuff, hyperbolic stuff, lots of stuff I’ve undoubtedly missed, and miscellaneous delusional stuff. What has transpired here in the past few weeks can be summed up as follows: Lyta stuff, Xmedk stuff, Foton stuff, hyperbolic stuff, lots of stuff I’ve undoubtedly missed, and miscellaneous delusional stuff.
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 To write with plainness, dullness, coldness, austerity. To let the life behind the words more easily emerge. To write with plainness, dullness, coldness, austerity. To let the life behind the words more easily emerge.
  
-2006-04-15 11:13+=== 2006-04-15 11:13 ===
  
 Spring rain, grey sky, drizzle, languid cold. I need to write at least one alternate account of the past few months. Spring rain, grey sky, drizzle, languid cold. I need to write at least one alternate account of the past few months.
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   * Faust’s birthday party   * Faust’s birthday party
  
-2006-04-16 18:34+=== 2006-04-16 18:34 ===
  
 Ghastly clanging of Sunday Easter church bells this morning; the sky is leaden grey; the usual Brussels traffic congestion and pollution. This afternoon several police cars had again congested Jennartstraat, this time outside the Moroccan bar a few houses down from the apartment; several Moroccans standing round looking on. Ghastly clanging of Sunday Easter church bells this morning; the sky is leaden grey; the usual Brussels traffic congestion and pollution. This afternoon several police cars had again congested Jennartstraat, this time outside the Moroccan bar a few houses down from the apartment; several Moroccans standing round looking on.
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 Nik and Maja are hoping that he will be able to devise strategies on all levels for interfacing with the corporate world, a direction that they had already considered as a priority for this year, since governmental funding has proved to be both fickle and labour-intensive. For interfacing with the corporate world you need to know how to present yourself in a particular way; you need to demonstrate your professionalism; in short, you need to know the rules of that game. No one in FoAM feels confident they know enough about that game, and this is where the hope in Jack comes in. Maja expressed doubt, however, over some of Jack’s advocations. It turns out that he liked Lina “a lot,” and this may have swayed his approach and judgement; apparently he had all sorts of ideas about sending her to business management courses and so forth. (Nik and Maja mentioned this before, but without this side of the story. When they talked about discussing the Jack proposal with Lina, Nik said it would just “open another can of worms.” “So there was something between Jack and Lina, then?” I enquired. “Rather it was something not between them,” Maja responded: “Lina decided she wanted nothing to do with him.”) Nik and Maja are hoping that he will be able to devise strategies on all levels for interfacing with the corporate world, a direction that they had already considered as a priority for this year, since governmental funding has proved to be both fickle and labour-intensive. For interfacing with the corporate world you need to know how to present yourself in a particular way; you need to demonstrate your professionalism; in short, you need to know the rules of that game. No one in FoAM feels confident they know enough about that game, and this is where the hope in Jack comes in. Maja expressed doubt, however, over some of Jack’s advocations. It turns out that he liked Lina “a lot,” and this may have swayed his approach and judgement; apparently he had all sorts of ideas about sending her to business management courses and so forth. (Nik and Maja mentioned this before, but without this side of the story. When they talked about discussing the Jack proposal with Lina, Nik said it would just “open another can of worms.” “So there was something between Jack and Lina, then?” I enquired. “Rather it was something not between them,” Maja responded: “Lina decided she wanted nothing to do with him.”)
  
-2006-04-17 16:12+=== 2006-04-17 16:12 ===
  
 Was writing the above in the apartment as it grew dark, leaving the studio under the impression that Nik and Maja were going to eat there, while I would eat alone at home; a call from Maja at 9 pm, asking where I was and if I could bring two bottles of wine to the studio since Lina had decided to drink. I had drunk one bottle already, gradually and pleasantly getting drunk and hitting on all sorts of absurd notions. There were some painted eggs on the table when I arrived. Lina had brought them from Rasa’s house where she stayed the night before, where they apparently took Easter more seriously than the rest of us. Then an extended discussion of “aesthetics” and “Belgium” ensued. What was it that made FoAM’s style (Maja: “But we don’t have a style”; Lina: “No, we do”) so unacceptable to Belgians in general, whereas when they took this style elsewhere, even in Holland, it was appreciated more? The Modernist presumption of avoiding anything that might be considered “ornamental,” “fluffy,” was felt to be somehow significant to Belgian aesthetics, at least in relation to the other organisations’ comments on the Xmedk design. Was writing the above in the apartment as it grew dark, leaving the studio under the impression that Nik and Maja were going to eat there, while I would eat alone at home; a call from Maja at 9 pm, asking where I was and if I could bring two bottles of wine to the studio since Lina had decided to drink. I had drunk one bottle already, gradually and pleasantly getting drunk and hitting on all sorts of absurd notions. There were some painted eggs on the table when I arrived. Lina had brought them from Rasa’s house where she stayed the night before, where they apparently took Easter more seriously than the rest of us. Then an extended discussion of “aesthetics” and “Belgium” ensued. What was it that made FoAM’s style (Maja: “But we don’t have a style”; Lina: “No, we do”) so unacceptable to Belgians in general, whereas when they took this style elsewhere, even in Holland, it was appreciated more? The Modernist presumption of avoiding anything that might be considered “ornamental,” “fluffy,” was felt to be somehow significant to Belgian aesthetics, at least in relation to the other organisations’ comments on the Xmedk design.
  
-2006-04-19 11:31+=== 2006-04-19 11:31 ===
  
 Meeting Monday 17 April at 7 pm about the “Guild” with Annemie, Michael and Auriea, Elke, Chris, Ferdinand, Kora and Thomas (from Workspace Unlimited). The late afternoon sun slanted through the high arched windows of Annemie’s loft; then the deep blue twilight gloom falling across the rooftops, offset by a chrome ventilation shaft gleaming brightly. I had never met Elke and Chris before; apparently Chris called the meeting this time round, but he looked constantly disgruntled and often walked out to talk on his mobile towards the end. One could hardly blame him since the meeting mostly consisted of long, circular debates about strategies, mailing list etiquette, what the Guild should be called, what it represented. The only consolation for Maja and I was that Annemie made good houmous, and there was an endless supply of red wine ensuring that by the end of the evening we were completely drunk. Nothing seemed resolved by the end except a list of people to be proposed to the VAF next week as representatives. For the rest, any idea of defining a wider scope for the Guild was swallowed up in endless arguments about details, about how to curry favour with the VAF, about being extremely cautious so that the whole initiative doesn’t blow up in our faces (Thomas was going on about this again). Once more the benefit of having someone from the “outside” became a topic, but once more, nothing seemed to be resolved on this front; everyone seemed to passionately and vociferously debate in loops. Meeting Monday 17 April at 7 pm about the “Guild” with Annemie, Michael and Auriea, Elke, Chris, Ferdinand, Kora and Thomas (from Workspace Unlimited). The late afternoon sun slanted through the high arched windows of Annemie’s loft; then the deep blue twilight gloom falling across the rooftops, offset by a chrome ventilation shaft gleaming brightly. I had never met Elke and Chris before; apparently Chris called the meeting this time round, but he looked constantly disgruntled and often walked out to talk on his mobile towards the end. One could hardly blame him since the meeting mostly consisted of long, circular debates about strategies, mailing list etiquette, what the Guild should be called, what it represented. The only consolation for Maja and I was that Annemie made good houmous, and there was an endless supply of red wine ensuring that by the end of the evening we were completely drunk. Nothing seemed resolved by the end except a list of people to be proposed to the VAF next week as representatives. For the rest, any idea of defining a wider scope for the Guild was swallowed up in endless arguments about details, about how to curry favour with the VAF, about being extremely cautious so that the whole initiative doesn’t blow up in our faces (Thomas was going on about this again). Once more the benefit of having someone from the “outside” became a topic, but once more, nothing seemed to be resolved on this front; everyone seemed to passionately and vociferously debate in loops.
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 Yesterday afternoon Peter, Susanne, and the designer of the Bent Object DVD cover, Max, were engaged in rather intense debates about the project; then Peter sat down with Max and in front of their computers engaged in an extended discussion in French about the design. At lunch yesterday we discussed with Peter the issue of collaboration in Belgium. His verdict was that there are historical and cultural reasons why such collaborative exercises are difficult here. People are brought up to think individually, for themselves and their near family. Furthermore, the strange dynamic of cutting those down who then try to organise something in spite of the inertia. Yesterday afternoon Peter, Susanne, and the designer of the Bent Object DVD cover, Max, were engaged in rather intense debates about the project; then Peter sat down with Max and in front of their computers engaged in an extended discussion in French about the design. At lunch yesterday we discussed with Peter the issue of collaboration in Belgium. His verdict was that there are historical and cultural reasons why such collaborative exercises are difficult here. People are brought up to think individually, for themselves and their near family. Furthermore, the strange dynamic of cutting those down who then try to organise something in spite of the inertia.
  
-2006-04-20 19:06+=== 2006-04-20 19:06 ===
  
 Yesterday went to the Hyperbolic discussion forum, organised by Dirk de Wit, with Annemie and Maja. Maja said afterwards it was a “typical Dirk-organised event.” There was little attention paid to moderation, and Dirk apparently had another conference to go to immediately afterwards so he was on the edge of his seat waiting for this one to be over. It was all in English, since there were a few speakers from Britain, and Dyna from Latvia, the hyperbolic mathematician. It was meant to be about strategies for collaboration. Discussions about software seemed to predominate. Afterwards drinks in the STUK bar with some of the forum speakers, including a speaker called Simon who was over from Wales and caught a ride back to Brussels with us, where he was staying. Much discussion between him, Maja and Annemie about education, new media culture, the way things are going, funding, economics, the pros and cons of being a small independent collective (or cooperative? Simon was making a contrast between the idea of collectives and cooperatives in his talk; follow this up online perhaps), survival strategies, etc. In retrospect I think there were some more interesting things being discussed than I gave the meeting credit for while I was there, but I was feeling fairly sick and worn out, even more bored than I am usually in these kinds of meetings. Yesterday went to the Hyperbolic discussion forum, organised by Dirk de Wit, with Annemie and Maja. Maja said afterwards it was a “typical Dirk-organised event.” There was little attention paid to moderation, and Dirk apparently had another conference to go to immediately afterwards so he was on the edge of his seat waiting for this one to be over. It was all in English, since there were a few speakers from Britain, and Dyna from Latvia, the hyperbolic mathematician. It was meant to be about strategies for collaboration. Discussions about software seemed to predominate. Afterwards drinks in the STUK bar with some of the forum speakers, including a speaker called Simon who was over from Wales and caught a ride back to Brussels with us, where he was staying. Much discussion between him, Maja and Annemie about education, new media culture, the way things are going, funding, economics, the pros and cons of being a small independent collective (or cooperative? Simon was making a contrast between the idea of collectives and cooperatives in his talk; follow this up online perhaps), survival strategies, etc. In retrospect I think there were some more interesting things being discussed than I gave the meeting credit for while I was there, but I was feeling fairly sick and worn out, even more bored than I am usually in these kinds of meetings.
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 Late meal at Tree and Leaf again, after driving through the spring dusk and dropping Simon at his accommodation, bright orange motorway lights glowing in the deep blue. Annemie mentioned that she would prefer 100 times to have Michael involved more in the Guild than Thomas, who both she and Maja thought was too full of slick corporate ideas. After dinner, until 2 am, Nik, Maja and Annemie discussed the design of Xmedk. Annemie seemed more enthusiastic this time and the discussion was felt to be productive by everyone. Late meal at Tree and Leaf again, after driving through the spring dusk and dropping Simon at his accommodation, bright orange motorway lights glowing in the deep blue. Annemie mentioned that she would prefer 100 times to have Michael involved more in the Guild than Thomas, who both she and Maja thought was too full of slick corporate ideas. After dinner, until 2 am, Nik, Maja and Annemie discussed the design of Xmedk. Annemie seemed more enthusiastic this time and the discussion was felt to be productive by everyone.
  
-2006-04-21 10:39+=== 2006-04-21 10:39 ===
  
 Last night, meeting with Nitan, the mysterious friend of Maja’s who was involved with Starlab in the summer of 1997 (when it went by a different name) on a project designing software for a mobile device to guide users through a museum space (which sounds similar to the ideas under consideration in the ill-fated HASTEN meeting…). He’s in Brussels now liaising for pharmaceutical companies, something to do with a new drug for breast cancer, “definitely the dark side,” he says. But he has another project idea which involves going to Palestine as an activist, initiating workshops with the children there and teaching them how to use media tools to tell the stories of their lives, then putting these materials online or otherwise distributing them. He concedes it’s a tough and ambitious idea, a dangerous location, the situation there is worse than ever; hence the best time for such a project. He wants to run this initiative in a thoroughly pragmatic and businesslike way: this is where he sees other non-profit and charity organisations failing: because they get caught up in ideological and political impasses. Furthermore, he wants to ensure that mechanisms are in place to ensure the organisation can outlive himself, that it’s not based on one person’s drive and energy as the “weakest link in the chain,” in the sense that if that one person disappears the whole organisation collapses. I knew this would hit home with Nik and Maja, and after dinner walking home Nik indeed mentioned that he found these points noteworthy. Last night, meeting with Nitan, the mysterious friend of Maja’s who was involved with Starlab in the summer of 1997 (when it went by a different name) on a project designing software for a mobile device to guide users through a museum space (which sounds similar to the ideas under consideration in the ill-fated HASTEN meeting…). He’s in Brussels now liaising for pharmaceutical companies, something to do with a new drug for breast cancer, “definitely the dark side,” he says. But he has another project idea which involves going to Palestine as an activist, initiating workshops with the children there and teaching them how to use media tools to tell the stories of their lives, then putting these materials online or otherwise distributing them. He concedes it’s a tough and ambitious idea, a dangerous location, the situation there is worse than ever; hence the best time for such a project. He wants to run this initiative in a thoroughly pragmatic and businesslike way: this is where he sees other non-profit and charity organisations failing: because they get caught up in ideological and political impasses. Furthermore, he wants to ensure that mechanisms are in place to ensure the organisation can outlive himself, that it’s not based on one person’s drive and energy as the “weakest link in the chain,” in the sense that if that one person disappears the whole organisation collapses. I knew this would hit home with Nik and Maja, and after dinner walking home Nik indeed mentioned that he found these points noteworthy.
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 He mentioned working with an anthropologist on his PhD, said it was a rewarding and productive experience. We discussed ethnography, anthropology, and how these approaches and understandings are growing increasingly important in “media” circles. He mentioned working with an anthropologist on his PhD, said it was a rewarding and productive experience. We discussed ethnography, anthropology, and how these approaches and understandings are growing increasingly important in “media” circles.
  
-2006-04-27 11:25+=== 2006-04-27 11:25 ===
  
 Yesterday, email from the EC about the Grig proposal, requesting additional info and emendations to the budget. This is more work for Nik and Maja, but it’s also a good sign since it indicates that an interest has been taken in their proposal and it has probably passed the previous evaluation criteria. Now they are discussing the finer points of budget allocation in relation to the other organisations involved. Yesterday, email from the EC about the Grig proposal, requesting additional info and emendations to the budget. This is more work for Nik and Maja, but it’s also a good sign since it indicates that an interest has been taken in their proposal and it has probably passed the previous evaluation criteria. Now they are discussing the finer points of budget allocation in relation to the other organisations involved.
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 Lushness of spring foliage, flowers, something fresh (?!) in the air of Brussels. Lushness of spring foliage, flowers, something fresh (?!) in the air of Brussels.
  
-2006-04-28 17:30+=== 2006-04-28 17:30 ===
  
 Xmedk design. Received proofs. Maja delivers FoAM’s (annual?) report to the Vlaams Ministry building in person. It is the last day of the Foton workshop with the French-speaking crowd. Electronic and radiophonic sounds emerge from the main studio room as we sit here in the computer room, Maja proofing, Nik pushing pixels, me aggressively scavenging the FoAM archive in a bid to universally capture all information regarding everyone and everything here. (Apparently the workshop was organised by Recyclart and the participants were taking a particular university course. Recyclart apparently couldn’t follow through with the funding, however. Everyone wondered why Foton continued trying to work with Recyclart knowing that they repeatedly do this sort of thing.) Xmedk design. Received proofs. Maja delivers FoAM’s (annual?) report to the Vlaams Ministry building in person. It is the last day of the Foton workshop with the French-speaking crowd. Electronic and radiophonic sounds emerge from the main studio room as we sit here in the computer room, Maja proofing, Nik pushing pixels, me aggressively scavenging the FoAM archive in a bid to universally capture all information regarding everyone and everything here. (Apparently the workshop was organised by Recyclart and the participants were taking a particular university course. Recyclart apparently couldn’t follow through with the funding, however. Everyone wondered why Foton continued trying to work with Recyclart knowing that they repeatedly do this sort of thing.)
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 Lina returns, with a big pack full of Lithuanian stuff like cheese, meat, and alcohol… Lina returns, with a big pack full of Lithuanian stuff like cheese, meat, and alcohol…
  
-2006-04-29 19:14+=== 2006-04-29 19:14 ===
  
 …Which we proceeded to consume into the evening, hearing about her latest adventures in Lithuania. Weddings, meetings with designers and university professors, the sad state of affairs in relation to the state of the art over there. She said more on this in the research meeting. …Which we proceeded to consume into the evening, hearing about her latest adventures in Lithuania. Weddings, meetings with designers and university professors, the sad state of affairs in relation to the state of the art over there. She said more on this in the research meeting.
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 Yves turned up first for the proofing session as agreed, seemed to accept of most of the graphical changes in front of the computer; proceeding to the kitchen table for proofreading, however, it turned out he had a number of editorial changes that he was insistent on. Maja managed to have him reword the first sentence of his “about Imal” article. Later on Annemie arrived and went through the proof, at the last minute deciding about capitalisation and other stylistic elements of her articles. Maja started to express annoyance. Yves turned up first for the proofing session as agreed, seemed to accept of most of the graphical changes in front of the computer; proceeding to the kitchen table for proofreading, however, it turned out he had a number of editorial changes that he was insistent on. Maja managed to have him reword the first sentence of his “about Imal” article. Later on Annemie arrived and went through the proof, at the last minute deciding about capitalisation and other stylistic elements of her articles. Maja started to express annoyance.
- 
----- 
  
 Sometime in the last half-week, some guy from Nantes turned up in the afternoon and said he wanted to meet with FoAM because they “sounded nice.” He’d heard about them through APO33, with whom he and his collective are involved and will be doing something in the upcoming convention (“ECOS”) in Nantes this August, in which FoAM have been invited to participate. This dude handed us a booklet and some other propaganda. He was “touring” Brussels and meeting with like-minded organisations. His English wasn’t too good; he mentioned he hadn’t spoken it “for years.” Although she was busy, Maja took the time to talk to him and discuss various FoAM matters. He was thinking of going on a tour of Europe or something with his collective, and Maja mentioned that FoAM would possibly be doing the Fluxus workshop in Croatia at the time he mentioned. Sometime in the last half-week, some guy from Nantes turned up in the afternoon and said he wanted to meet with FoAM because they “sounded nice.” He’d heard about them through APO33, with whom he and his collective are involved and will be doing something in the upcoming convention (“ECOS”) in Nantes this August, in which FoAM have been invited to participate. This dude handed us a booklet and some other propaganda. He was “touring” Brussels and meeting with like-minded organisations. His English wasn’t too good; he mentioned he hadn’t spoken it “for years.” Although she was busy, Maja took the time to talk to him and discuss various FoAM matters. He was thinking of going on a tour of Europe or something with his collective, and Maja mentioned that FoAM would possibly be doing the Fluxus workshop in Croatia at the time he mentioned.
  
-2006-05-01 11:55+=== 2006-05-01 11:55 ===
  
 Yesterday, drive to Amsterdam with Maja and Lina for the monthly FoAM research meeting. (Remember to reconstruct the discussion on aesthetics and collaboration brought up by Maja. For the rest, Maja will post the meeting notes she took.) Yesterday, drive to Amsterdam with Maja and Lina for the monthly FoAM research meeting. (Remember to reconstruct the discussion on aesthetics and collaboration brought up by Maja. For the rest, Maja will post the meeting notes she took.)
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 The solderer just arrived with the control boards for Lyta, duly soldered up. When Maja shares our laments over the installation with him, he goes “arrgh!” and raises his hands to his head in empathy for our plight. The solderer just arrived with the control boards for Lyta, duly soldered up. When Maja shares our laments over the installation with him, he goes “arrgh!” and raises his hands to his head in empathy for our plight.
  
-2006-05-02 10:51+=== 2006-05-02 10:51 ===
  
 The final prepress work on Xmedk (I should be calling it XmedA now) has degenerated into an odyssey of editing, proofreading, and aesthetico-political altercations. Nik has been fuming about the “willful ambiguity” in the Yves sentence. The rest of us dislike it as well but in the end we see it as a small matter, dwarfed by other problematic things in the book including Annemie’s “funding application” Okno texts. Most of the day Nik and Maja sat together going through it page by page, word by word in another extreme design (or rather, “extreme editing”) session. As the day wore on, Nik became cantankerous and Maja started pulling her hair out as the emails from Yves continued to appear. It was their wedding anniversary, and late in the evening they finally left to have dinner and possibly do something nice. The final prepress work on Xmedk (I should be calling it XmedA now) has degenerated into an odyssey of editing, proofreading, and aesthetico-political altercations. Nik has been fuming about the “willful ambiguity” in the Yves sentence. The rest of us dislike it as well but in the end we see it as a small matter, dwarfed by other problematic things in the book including Annemie’s “funding application” Okno texts. Most of the day Nik and Maja sat together going through it page by page, word by word in another extreme design (or rather, “extreme editing”) session. As the day wore on, Nik became cantankerous and Maja started pulling her hair out as the emails from Yves continued to appear. It was their wedding anniversary, and late in the evening they finally left to have dinner and possibly do something nice.
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 Maja asked me at lunch if I would be going to Wolfsburg with them, to which I had no objections, so I’m going. Further altercations with Yves. Annemie asked me to proof a text for a poster of the Okno Public01 festival later this month, in which the debate about aesthetics that people have been talking about will take place. (I resumed proofing this very late after we had returned from dinner; I was becoming more drunk on Lina’s “58 per cent not water” and finally sent Annemie the re-proofed version at about 11.30 pm.) Peter announced that he is finally “labelled” again, as an unemployed artist. Before he was not in any category. Maja asked me at lunch if I would be going to Wolfsburg with them, to which I had no objections, so I’m going. Further altercations with Yves. Annemie asked me to proof a text for a poster of the Okno Public01 festival later this month, in which the debate about aesthetics that people have been talking about will take place. (I resumed proofing this very late after we had returned from dinner; I was becoming more drunk on Lina’s “58 per cent not water” and finally sent Annemie the re-proofed version at about 11.30 pm.) Peter announced that he is finally “labelled” again, as an unemployed artist. Before he was not in any category.
  
-=== 2006-06-08 19:56:29 ===+=== 2006-06-08 19:56:29 Australia ===
  
 I should try to recount the last moments in Wolfsburg; I was always about to, even in the Frankfurt airport, and on the Lufthansa then the Singapore flights, but to no avail, I just stared dumbly into the evening, distractedly watching the jets touch down in the deepening mauve. I should try to recount the last moments in Wolfsburg; I was always about to, even in the Frankfurt airport, and on the Lufthansa then the Singapore flights, but to no avail, I just stared dumbly into the evening, distractedly watching the jets touch down in the deepening mauve.
  
 Prompted by this evening’s re-reading the very first notes I made, over a year now in Riga. Those notes that I thought were of no importance, merely my “more intimate” jottings in preparation for the “real” fieldnotes in Brussels. Alas, a number of the details they record have already slipped my mind, what I’m always convinced will never happen, but always inevitably does. How much more so now, in recollecting the month just gone. Prompted by this evening’s re-reading the very first notes I made, over a year now in Riga. Those notes that I thought were of no importance, merely my “more intimate” jottings in preparation for the “real” fieldnotes in Brussels. Alas, a number of the details they record have already slipped my mind, what I’m always convinced will never happen, but always inevitably does. How much more so now, in recollecting the month just gone.

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