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2005_2006_foam_fieldnotes [2025-05-02 22:35] – alkan2005_2006_foam_fieldnotes [2025-05-03 06:08] (current) – using horizontal rules to "bracket out" stuff such as direct transcriptions of meetings etc. alkan
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 Going up into the cathedral open all night for the White Nights. The brightly illuminated streets of the city centre give way to the deepest gloom and darkness of the outlaying suburbs. It is terrifyingly eery and disconcerting. Going up into the cathedral open all night for the White Nights. The brightly illuminated streets of the city centre give way to the deepest gloom and darkness of the outlaying suburbs. It is terrifyingly eery and disconcerting.
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 ==== Brussels ==== ==== Brussels ====
  
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 N.B. Discovered also in this discussion that Lyta must be operative for at least two years, rather than the two months I had presupposed. N.B. Discovered also in this discussion that Lyta must be operative for at least two years, rather than the two months I had presupposed.
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 The discussion regarding shutting Lyta down [yesterday]. The discussion regarding shutting Lyta down [yesterday].
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 Todor was construed, it seemed, as the one being recalcitrant and unable to negotiate. Yet it would also be accurate to say that, if they wanted dependency charts in the first place, the whole group should have sat down and drawn up dependency charts, and much earlier in the game to boot. But everyone was too busy: Nik with the finances, Maja with some detail of the metal frames, and complained that they had no time to sit down. So Todor was not really the one solely to blame for seeming to want to avoid sitting down and discussing the project in the form of an overview of some kind. Recalcitrantly, Maja unrolled a big sheet of paper on the kitchen table, got out some textas, and started to note down in big capital letters the issues Todor raised, about five in number and mostly interrelated. Just this act, begun reluctantly, was enough to diffuse tensions considerably and soon those in this ad hoc discussion group were participating a little more enthusiastically. It allowed everyone involved to see each issue literally “on the table” - at least the issues surrounding this one dimension of safety/control, and to a lesser extent making the installation accessible to the Phaeno staff. (The Phaeno guidelines were elaborated in a thick bound A4 booklet which was lying round on the table. This is the first time I have seen them refer to this booklet.) The concern of the muscles being destroyed became paramount, and ways of shutting the muscle activity “to zero” were proposed by Pix and Todor which were all rather costly and complex. For, if the muscles were active and the air was cut off for some reason, the components would be destroyed and this would constitute a design flaw that FoAM would be responsible for (rather than a flaw that would be considered the responsibility of Merlin or Phaeno). I didn’t catch how it came about, but Maja made a phone call to Bois and he apparently suggested the use of a pressure valve that would automatically cut off the power when it detected the air pressure had been interrupted. This solution was seen to obviate the whole sequence of complex concerns and work-arounds that had already been proposed. Pix then Todor sketched a rough circuit diagram and the hastily called-together session was adjourned and we ate dinner, reviving some good humour in the process, it seemed. Todor was construed, it seemed, as the one being recalcitrant and unable to negotiate. Yet it would also be accurate to say that, if they wanted dependency charts in the first place, the whole group should have sat down and drawn up dependency charts, and much earlier in the game to boot. But everyone was too busy: Nik with the finances, Maja with some detail of the metal frames, and complained that they had no time to sit down. So Todor was not really the one solely to blame for seeming to want to avoid sitting down and discussing the project in the form of an overview of some kind. Recalcitrantly, Maja unrolled a big sheet of paper on the kitchen table, got out some textas, and started to note down in big capital letters the issues Todor raised, about five in number and mostly interrelated. Just this act, begun reluctantly, was enough to diffuse tensions considerably and soon those in this ad hoc discussion group were participating a little more enthusiastically. It allowed everyone involved to see each issue literally “on the table” - at least the issues surrounding this one dimension of safety/control, and to a lesser extent making the installation accessible to the Phaeno staff. (The Phaeno guidelines were elaborated in a thick bound A4 booklet which was lying round on the table. This is the first time I have seen them refer to this booklet.) The concern of the muscles being destroyed became paramount, and ways of shutting the muscle activity “to zero” were proposed by Pix and Todor which were all rather costly and complex. For, if the muscles were active and the air was cut off for some reason, the components would be destroyed and this would constitute a design flaw that FoAM would be responsible for (rather than a flaw that would be considered the responsibility of Merlin or Phaeno). I didn’t catch how it came about, but Maja made a phone call to Bois and he apparently suggested the use of a pressure valve that would automatically cut off the power when it detected the air pressure had been interrupted. This solution was seen to obviate the whole sequence of complex concerns and work-arounds that had already been proposed. Pix then Todor sketched a rough circuit diagram and the hastily called-together session was adjourned and we ate dinner, reviving some good humour in the process, it seemed.
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 [Before:] Meeting with Professor Pinxten, Gent [Before:] Meeting with Professor Pinxten, Gent
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 Even though he felt a sense of excitement at times in the heat of Lyta’s production when from the outside it would have seemed they were all doing something pointless and painful to themselves, he can’t see what he got out of it in the end. Even if he didn’t get any financial reimbursement for the immense amount of unpaid work he’d done for the project, spending many all-nighters programming, coming to Brussels so often for so long while still paying rent for his flat in Berlin, he would like something - some recognition for his efforts and how much he has put himself out for FoAM. They can’t pay him, of course, they don’t have anything to pay him with. But if there is something - he can’t say exactly what it is he wants - some recognition, then the collaboration is still among friends and does not become a matter of “score keeping.” He says that if he asked directly for money, for how much he could expect to get paid, the working relationship immediately becomes one of score keeping, of how much I’m getting paid, how much they are getting paid, and how this compares. This changes the kind of relationship entirely. He mentions the vagueness of Nik and Maja when he asked them if there was any money they could pay him for his work. He asked before a long time ago, and they vaguely said there was some money; he asked later, when it was all crazy and the opportunity to cancel the project had basically passed, and they said there was none. Even though he felt a sense of excitement at times in the heat of Lyta’s production when from the outside it would have seemed they were all doing something pointless and painful to themselves, he can’t see what he got out of it in the end. Even if he didn’t get any financial reimbursement for the immense amount of unpaid work he’d done for the project, spending many all-nighters programming, coming to Brussels so often for so long while still paying rent for his flat in Berlin, he would like something - some recognition for his efforts and how much he has put himself out for FoAM. They can’t pay him, of course, they don’t have anything to pay him with. But if there is something - he can’t say exactly what it is he wants - some recognition, then the collaboration is still among friends and does not become a matter of “score keeping.” He says that if he asked directly for money, for how much he could expect to get paid, the working relationship immediately becomes one of score keeping, of how much I’m getting paid, how much they are getting paid, and how this compares. This changes the kind of relationship entirely. He mentions the vagueness of Nik and Maja when he asked them if there was any money they could pay him for his work. He asked before a long time ago, and they vaguely said there was some money; he asked later, when it was all crazy and the opportunity to cancel the project had basically passed, and they said there was none.
 +
 +----
  
 === 2005-10-10 AGM === === 2005-10-10 AGM ===
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 But I was in another world during the workshop, especially the second half… And it was only then that I finally felt a desire to become entangled, if not the ability; I may have caught a glimpse into that “glue” to which they intermittently make reference. A glimpse into the potential beauty of this kind of collaborative entanglement, where the demarkation line between the personal and the professional is elided and the two are indistinguishable. (And this at precisely the time when the feeling is that the group (or at least Maja) wants to move away from such an all-encompassing lifestyle.) For the first time I came to actively wish for immersion in such a lifestyle, whereas before I had always held aloof and longed to be elsewhere. This is in the end also perhaps the only interesting research question for me to pursue. But I was in another world during the workshop, especially the second half… And it was only then that I finally felt a desire to become entangled, if not the ability; I may have caught a glimpse into that “glue” to which they intermittently make reference. A glimpse into the potential beauty of this kind of collaborative entanglement, where the demarkation line between the personal and the professional is elided and the two are indistinguishable. (And this at precisely the time when the feeling is that the group (or at least Maja) wants to move away from such an all-encompassing lifestyle.) For the first time I came to actively wish for immersion in such a lifestyle, whereas before I had always held aloof and longed to be elsewhere. This is in the end also perhaps the only interesting research question for me to pursue.
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 So many things to be elaborated: So many things to be elaborated:
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 Hans and Margo’s plans to buy land in Jamaica: Hans says there are not many employment options for foreigners on the island except to start up a guesthouse. He has a picture of himself sitting in a hammock with a cocktail in Jamaica when he gets older. Hans and Margo’s plans to buy land in Jamaica: Hans says there are not many employment options for foreigners on the island except to start up a guesthouse. He has a picture of himself sitting in a hammock with a cocktail in Jamaica when he gets older.
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 The other night at Nadine for the Openlab presentation: some fairly unremarkable installations, mainly a French-speaking crowd; Ferdinand thought it was not the usual Nadine crowd, and Maja thought this was because of the individual who organised the workshop [Yves Bernard]. (“People say that language doesn’t make a difference, but it does,” Maja commented.) Spoke briefly with Bart (Vandeput) about his installation. He was adamant that it was an experiment that involved the public merely as an input variable contributing to the experiment itself, rather than any kind of event made “for” a public. Then chairs started to be placed around the installation, a spectator-performance dynamic was thus irrevocably constituted; Bart was too busy working on various aspects of the installation itself to intervene and attempt to stop the audience forming. Apparently, few people dared actually to walk “into” the space of the experiment itself and this was only intensified when an audience was constructed. Cf. Xin Wei’s insistence that T-Garden was an experiment that utilised the public in some way as a variable solely for its own uses, any benefit to the participating public presumably being merely a by-product or side-effect. The other night at Nadine for the Openlab presentation: some fairly unremarkable installations, mainly a French-speaking crowd; Ferdinand thought it was not the usual Nadine crowd, and Maja thought this was because of the individual who organised the workshop [Yves Bernard]. (“People say that language doesn’t make a difference, but it does,” Maja commented.) Spoke briefly with Bart (Vandeput) about his installation. He was adamant that it was an experiment that involved the public merely as an input variable contributing to the experiment itself, rather than any kind of event made “for” a public. Then chairs started to be placed around the installation, a spectator-performance dynamic was thus irrevocably constituted; Bart was too busy working on various aspects of the installation itself to intervene and attempt to stop the audience forming. Apparently, few people dared actually to walk “into” the space of the experiment itself and this was only intensified when an audience was constructed. Cf. Xin Wei’s insistence that T-Garden was an experiment that utilised the public in some way as a variable solely for its own uses, any benefit to the participating public presumably being merely a by-product or side-effect.
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 What did I do during November? Absolutely nothing; the first half I wandered in the gardens and forests in Brussels; the second half I wandered the canals and arcades of Amsterdam. At least, through it all, I managed to almost entirely shake off my loathing of Brussels. (But the turning point was due entirely to the shift of my nostalgic yearning for the distant homeland and an escape from the Brussels prison to quite another nostalgic yearning.) What did I do during November? Absolutely nothing; the first half I wandered in the gardens and forests in Brussels; the second half I wandered the canals and arcades of Amsterdam. At least, through it all, I managed to almost entirely shake off my loathing of Brussels. (But the turning point was due entirely to the shift of my nostalgic yearning for the distant homeland and an escape from the Brussels prison to quite another nostalgic yearning.)
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 There was so much food that a lot was left over. I was being told off early in the evening for glutting myself, and afterwards I was admonished to be the studio’s vacuum cleaner. Ah, you can never win… There was so much food that a lot was left over. I was being told off early in the evening for glutting myself, and afterwards I was admonished to be the studio’s vacuum cleaner. Ah, you can never win…
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 The evening before, got drunk in the apartment and did little all evening. Maja and Danica returned this evening. I had just returned from shopping. Nik and Goran were in the studio doing stuff on their computers. Maja said she was called by Annemie about the hyperbolic thing. There had been a meeting about this project while I was in Amsterdam. A curator in Leuven wanted something that was “interactive,” “hyperbolic,” and “collective.” Lina and Annemie were to be in charge of this project, since Maja would be in Australia when it was scheduled to take place. But still, everyone turns to Maja - for inspiration and administration. Annemie called Maja the night before, just as she was about to switch off her phone and enjoy some peace in the Ardennes with her family. Annemie insisted they meet “this evening,” or “next evening” about the hyperbolic thing, since Guy (Van Belle) had apparently had a new inspiration for it. Maja doesn’t want to work with Guy; he has a reputation for taking over entirely and insisting on his own vision, not listening to others (though he is an extremely lively, vivacious, and eccentric character even so, as N and M were saying on the train back from the Sonokids installation). The evening before, got drunk in the apartment and did little all evening. Maja and Danica returned this evening. I had just returned from shopping. Nik and Goran were in the studio doing stuff on their computers. Maja said she was called by Annemie about the hyperbolic thing. There had been a meeting about this project while I was in Amsterdam. A curator in Leuven wanted something that was “interactive,” “hyperbolic,” and “collective.” Lina and Annemie were to be in charge of this project, since Maja would be in Australia when it was scheduled to take place. But still, everyone turns to Maja - for inspiration and administration. Annemie called Maja the night before, just as she was about to switch off her phone and enjoy some peace in the Ardennes with her family. Annemie insisted they meet “this evening,” or “next evening” about the hyperbolic thing, since Guy (Van Belle) had apparently had a new inspiration for it. Maja doesn’t want to work with Guy; he has a reputation for taking over entirely and insisting on his own vision, not listening to others (though he is an extremely lively, vivacious, and eccentric character even so, as N and M were saying on the train back from the Sonokids installation).
  
 Maja and Danica’s accounts of the absurdities of the Balkan war and their struggles in that time. The forfeit of the family inheritance due to losing the papers, while everyone knew that it was rightfully their family’s; Maja’s scheme to escape with her friend, both of whom had just graduated two weeks before hostilities broke out and had the world as their oyster. They robbed their parent’s jewellery and headed for the last boat leaving for Italy, where Bois would rendezvous with them and transport them back to Holland where they had been studying; but they were refused entry on board, only tourists and foreigners were allowed on the boat, and there was no bargaining with the enormous armed guards, so Maja returned to her parent’s place and put back all the jewellery. Maja and Danica’s accounts of the absurdities of the Balkan war and their struggles in that time. The forfeit of the family inheritance due to losing the papers, while everyone knew that it was rightfully their family’s; Maja’s scheme to escape with her friend, both of whom had just graduated two weeks before hostilities broke out and had the world as their oyster. They robbed their parent’s jewellery and headed for the last boat leaving for Italy, where Bois would rendezvous with them and transport them back to Holland where they had been studying; but they were refused entry on board, only tourists and foreigners were allowed on the boat, and there was no bargaining with the enormous armed guards, so Maja returned to her parent’s place and put back all the jewellery.
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 Tonight I continue to sip various Croatian cocktails while the others are out for dinner before the family leaves for Croatia next morning. Some of them are tinted a mysterious algae green, some a brilliant yellow; still others coloured a strange wan cyan (not a Croatian cocktail but absinth), and of course the familiar pinky crimson of the drenjina. Tonight I continue to sip various Croatian cocktails while the others are out for dinner before the family leaves for Croatia next morning. Some of them are tinted a mysterious algae green, some a brilliant yellow; still others coloured a strange wan cyan (not a Croatian cocktail but absinth), and of course the familiar pinky crimson of the drenjina.
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 The orphan Christmas at FoAM, Christmas day. The strange affair of the Natalie Renard letters. We decided to use them as presents, not remotely considering the possibility that someone would actually know this “Natalie Renard” or the people mentioned in the letters. Jo was the lucky recipient in the lucky draw, but it quickly emerged that no less than *two* people in the room knew Natalie. One woman, who was living in Natalie’s old apartment; and another man, who was apparently Natalie’s lover six years ago. It was agreed that the whole episode was highly peculiar and mysterious. The group spent the rest of the evening in great mirth, sitting round reading out the atrocious prose of “Helge,” Natalie Renard’s desperate and pathetic correspondent. The orphan Christmas at FoAM, Christmas day. The strange affair of the Natalie Renard letters. We decided to use them as presents, not remotely considering the possibility that someone would actually know this “Natalie Renard” or the people mentioned in the letters. Jo was the lucky recipient in the lucky draw, but it quickly emerged that no less than *two* people in the room knew Natalie. One woman, who was living in Natalie’s old apartment; and another man, who was apparently Natalie’s lover six years ago. It was agreed that the whole episode was highly peculiar and mysterious. The group spent the rest of the evening in great mirth, sitting round reading out the atrocious prose of “Helge,” Natalie Renard’s desperate and pathetic correspondent.
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 The question of why the Ministry is happy to support an event where just “seven people get together and talk with each other” (as Nik sardonically observed) such as in the recent workshop. Maja says they will go along with it if they get funding for doing such activities, but it’s strange that such things are deemed worthwhile to support while others are not, and she doesn’t really see the logic. After all, they are interested in public engagement. The question of why the Ministry is happy to support an event where just “seven people get together and talk with each other” (as Nik sardonically observed) such as in the recent workshop. Maja says they will go along with it if they get funding for doing such activities, but it’s strange that such things are deemed worthwhile to support while others are not, and she doesn’t really see the logic. After all, they are interested in public engagement.
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 The people on this list are slated to be followed up. The editorial (as distinct from the keynote article) can be done at the end by FoAM and all that needs to be done is to add a placeholder of half a page for it in the design, about 500 words. The people on this list are slated to be followed up. The editorial (as distinct from the keynote article) can be done at the end by FoAM and all that needs to be done is to add a placeholder of half a page for it in the design, about 500 words.
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 Aside from the publication, the idea of having some kind of festival for the digital arts is mentioned. Yves notes that the digital arts scene in Belgium is only five years old, and it doesn’t have its own festival. The idea of bringing together all those working in this field, the logistics involved, whether to have an agenda or to have no agenda at all (which Nik laconically observes would be very Belgian: to have groups working in entirely separate ways brought together). Not installations, but rather talks, drinking, performances. Maja says FoAM would be interested in workshop-orientated activities, since they are now a Werkplaats and don’t want to become embroiled “for at least two years” in more productions or installations. Aside from the publication, the idea of having some kind of festival for the digital arts is mentioned. Yves notes that the digital arts scene in Belgium is only five years old, and it doesn’t have its own festival. The idea of bringing together all those working in this field, the logistics involved, whether to have an agenda or to have no agenda at all (which Nik laconically observes would be very Belgian: to have groups working in entirely separate ways brought together). Not installations, but rather talks, drinking, performances. Maja says FoAM would be interested in workshop-orientated activities, since they are now a Werkplaats and don’t want to become embroiled “for at least two years” in more productions or installations.
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 Yesterday news was received from the last erstwhile member of the board of FoAM Holland that he wanted to resign. This means that the entire ancien régime of FoAM Holland has seceded quietly and painlessly and the *relance* will probably therefore be smooth, with Cocky apparently prepared to take on much of the administrative burden. Yesterday news was received from the last erstwhile member of the board of FoAM Holland that he wanted to resign. This means that the entire ancien régime of FoAM Holland has seceded quietly and painlessly and the *relance* will probably therefore be smooth, with Cocky apparently prepared to take on much of the administrative burden.
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 Meeting about the smoking issue with Hans, Peter, Maja, Lina, Nik yesterday at 6 pm around the kitchen table. Meeting about the smoking issue with Hans, Peter, Maja, Lina, Nik yesterday at 6 pm around the kitchen table.
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   * Annemie understood from the email that it was meant to unite people   * Annemie understood from the email that it was meant to unite people
  
-Before that: Xmedk publication meeting.+----
  
-[2006-02-22]+Before the above: Xmedk publication meeting.
  
-Maja said after this day ended that it was disappointing in most respects. Annemie reacted strongly and in a way that surprised and even shocked Lina and Maja when she saw the quantity of Xmedk texts that we had assembled for the publication, saying that it was “just stupid” if Okno didn’t have a similar quantity of text. She continued to voice concern over our texts and suggested we would have to cut a lot out. Maja thought the guild meeting was basically a repeat of the last one with little or no new ground covered; it just went round in circles even though she kept on trying to move it on. And to cap it all, she finished the Bent Object DVD on the evening of that day, what amounted to months of work, and gave it to Peter to watch. He apparently took it home and Foton watched it, but when Maja phoned him to ask what he thought of it, he merely replied that it was good to listen to it on good speakers - not a single word of thanks. One small victory was that she and Lina convinced Vali to speak at the Mediakunst meeting in Gent on Friday. Vali had been very busy and it was uncertain whether she would be in Brussels at the time of the meeting, but Maja and Lina went to visit her in the morning and convinced her that she should speak on FoAM’s behalf.+[2006-02-22] Maja said after this day ended that it was disappointing in most respects. Annemie reacted strongly and in a way that surprised and even shocked Lina and Maja when she saw the quantity of Xmedk texts that we had assembled for the publication, saying that it was “just stupid” if Okno didn’t have a similar quantity of text. She continued to voice concern over our texts and suggested we would have to cut a lot out. Maja thought the guild meeting was basically a repeat of the last one with little or no new ground covered; it just went round in circles even though she kept on trying to move it on. And to cap it all, she finished the Bent Object DVD on the evening of that day, what amounted to months of work, and gave it to Peter to watch. He apparently took it home and Foton watched it, but when Maja phoned him to ask what he thought of it, he merely replied that it was good to listen to it on good speakers - not a single word of thanks. One small victory was that she and Lina convinced Vali to speak at the Mediakunst meeting in Gent on Friday. Vali had been very busy and it was uncertain whether she would be in Brussels at the time of the meeting, but Maja and Lina went to visit her in the morning and convinced her that she should speak on FoAM’s behalf.
  
 === 2006-02-22 20:53 === === 2006-02-22 20:53 ===
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 Phone call with Pix again last night; again he mentions that there’s been no de-briefing meeting regarding Lyta. This is because Nik and Maja consider it to be a low priority. The weird circumstances brought about by everyone talking behind each other’s backs; there is the sense, Pix describes, that it all has some “greater meaning,” so we go along with it and constantly have to think if we can say certain things to certain people. Not quite backstabbing, but injurious nonetheless. People need to say what they think openly for a change. Communication is always based on individual alliances rather than the group as a whole, and therefore any collaboration becomes fragmented between competing individuals’ interests. Phone call with Pix again last night; again he mentions that there’s been no de-briefing meeting regarding Lyta. This is because Nik and Maja consider it to be a low priority. The weird circumstances brought about by everyone talking behind each other’s backs; there is the sense, Pix describes, that it all has some “greater meaning,” so we go along with it and constantly have to think if we can say certain things to certain people. Not quite backstabbing, but injurious nonetheless. People need to say what they think openly for a change. Communication is always based on individual alliances rather than the group as a whole, and therefore any collaboration becomes fragmented between competing individuals’ interests.
  
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 === 2006-03-13 Lyta report [draft] === === 2006-03-13 Lyta report [draft] ===
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 Maja asked me at lunch if I would be going to Wolfsburg with them, to which I had no objections, so I’m going. Further altercations with Yves. Annemie asked me to proof a text for a poster of the Okno Public01 festival later this month, in which the debate about aesthetics that people have been talking about will take place. (I resumed proofing this very late after we had returned from dinner; I was becoming more drunk on Lina’s “58 per cent not water” and finally sent Annemie the re-proofed version at about 11.30 pm.) Peter announced that he is finally “labelled” again, as an unemployed artist. Before he was not in any category. Maja asked me at lunch if I would be going to Wolfsburg with them, to which I had no objections, so I’m going. Further altercations with Yves. Annemie asked me to proof a text for a poster of the Okno Public01 festival later this month, in which the debate about aesthetics that people have been talking about will take place. (I resumed proofing this very late after we had returned from dinner; I was becoming more drunk on Lina’s “58 per cent not water” and finally sent Annemie the re-proofed version at about 11.30 pm.) Peter announced that he is finally “labelled” again, as an unemployed artist. Before he was not in any category.
  
-=== 2006-06-08 19:56:29 ===+=== 2006-06-08 19:56:29 Australia ===
  
 I should try to recount the last moments in Wolfsburg; I was always about to, even in the Frankfurt airport, and on the Lufthansa then the Singapore flights, but to no avail, I just stared dumbly into the evening, distractedly watching the jets touch down in the deepening mauve. I should try to recount the last moments in Wolfsburg; I was always about to, even in the Frankfurt airport, and on the Lufthansa then the Singapore flights, but to no avail, I just stared dumbly into the evening, distractedly watching the jets touch down in the deepening mauve.
  
 Prompted by this evening’s re-reading the very first notes I made, over a year now in Riga. Those notes that I thought were of no importance, merely my “more intimate” jottings in preparation for the “real” fieldnotes in Brussels. Alas, a number of the details they record have already slipped my mind, what I’m always convinced will never happen, but always inevitably does. How much more so now, in recollecting the month just gone. Prompted by this evening’s re-reading the very first notes I made, over a year now in Riga. Those notes that I thought were of no importance, merely my “more intimate” jottings in preparation for the “real” fieldnotes in Brussels. Alas, a number of the details they record have already slipped my mind, what I’m always convinced will never happen, but always inevitably does. How much more so now, in recollecting the month just gone.

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