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hosting_craft [2013-10-31 16:34] – maja | hosting_craft [2014-05-07 09:34] – [Session 4: The conversations] maja | ||
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- | ==== Session 1: Hosting, craft and the Host ==== | + | ==== Session 1: The Host ==== |
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Having an intuition about people' | Having an intuition about people' | ||
- | A course that can help develop your own communication skills and be more aware of how others communicate: | + | A course that can help develop your own communication skills and be more aware of how others communicate: |
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- | //next session: 20131216 | + | //next session: 20131216 |
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | ==== Session 4: The conversations ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | After receiving the people, framing a question | ||
+ | |||
+ | Before getting into the myriad of known formats, there are a few basic forms that anyone can host without too many rules: | ||
+ | |||
+ | === Personal - solo === | ||
+ | |||
+ | A few minutes of individual contemplation is important when the topics discussed are complex, or emotionally charged. It allows people to explore both their thoughts and their gut-feelings and come up with considered, honest answers. Posing a question and allowing a few minutes for thinking about the question, taking notes and composing one's thoughts can substantially deepen the group conversation. This type of ' | ||
+ | |||
+ | < | ||
+ | |||
+ | Participants' | ||
+ | * It brings you closer to yourself | ||
+ | * The clustering of individual responses connects the group | ||
+ | * The question from the exercise is quite existential, | ||
+ | * Knowing that there would be a reporting to the group focused the ' | ||
+ | |||
+ | === Intimate - duo === | ||
+ | |||
+ | A dialogue in a pair can be experienced as the most intimate, but also demanding type of conversation. Both participants have to be active (either speaking or listening), so no ' | ||
+ | * an interview (one person speaks, the other only asks questions, then exchange roles). The value of this kind of conversation is that there is enough space for both people to speak, without the other person stepping in too much, except to ask questions - which can be perceived as encouragement and engagement. Because both participants take turns, they are aware of both roles (speaker/ | ||
+ | * a monologue (one person speaks, the other one listens, then exchange roles), allows a lot of space, but can be experienced as quite confronting. It is important for the listener to give appropriate non-verbal signs to show his/her attention or engagement. This form might work better with participants who know each other well. | ||
+ | * free flow (the common form when we talk with friends). This is the most informal form and it is comfortable for most people. The danger is that one of the people might be dominant and talking most of the time. In this case the facilitator might have to discretely step in to allow some space to the other person. | ||
+ | When reporting to the larger group, it's interesting to let one person report what the other person has said. If the participants know this in advance, they might pay closer attention to what each other are saying. | ||
+ | |||
+ | < | ||
+ | * Think of a time when you felt inspired and energised (at work). Describe the situation. | ||
+ | * How did you feel? | ||
+ | * What did you do? | ||
+ | * What made this situation possible? | ||
+ | At the end, the person who took notes reports in a few words the feelings, actions and resources that make inspiring situations possible. The facilitator (or a volunteer) summarises the key points. </ | ||
+ | |||
+ | Comments from participants: | ||
+ | * There isn't much time to reflect: listening and processing has to happen at the same time, so it's difficult to ask the ' | ||
+ | * Having to speak while someone else is intently listening causes a ' | ||
+ | * Important to share with the group, the person listening can convey non verbal communication as well, which helps with getting a deeper understanding of the other | ||
+ | * AI - it feels good to talk about 'good times' | ||
+ | * The feeling of being self-conscious and vulnerable is helped as both people have to assume the same role | ||
+ | * you end up helping each other and encouraging openness | ||
+ | * the person who listens has to sense what the other needs | ||
+ | * it helps to be honest about your own insecurity, then allowing each other to be uncertain | ||
+ | * fear needs to be acknowledged from the beginning | ||
+ | * time pressure is difficult to get into a deep conversation. | ||
+ | |||
+ | === Active - trio === | ||
+ | |||
+ | Talking between three people makes for an active conversation. The introduction of a third person in a dialogue creates a new dynamics, that is less intimate, but can be more energised. Again, many forms are possible: | ||
+ | * one person talks, the other two ask questions | ||
+ | * one person talks, one asks questions, the third one takes notes and reports (everyone should have a chance to inhabit every role) | ||
+ | * everyone talks when they want, they share the same piece of paper to make notes… | ||
+ | |||
+ | < | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | === Diverse - break-out groups === | ||
+ | |||
+ | This is a very common way to split large groups into smaller ones (4-7 people), in order to allow everyone to have a chance to speak and to have a conversation with new people. The challenge or breakout groups is to find a quick way for people to move into the groups without using time and attention. If the choice of breakout groups isn't free, there needs to be a quick and easy way to mix people who don't know each other (colours, symbols, numbers, rows, pre-assigned randomised groups…). You have to be clear and concise in your instructions, | ||
+ | * //in the next exercise we will break out into smaller groups. We will take 20 minutes to explore the question " | ||
+ | In a break-out group it helps to have one or two people to moderate the conversation, | ||
+ | * pre-assigned. You and/or the organisers of the event can decide beforehand who should moderate and/or report from each breakout group. You can brief them before hand about the topic and some basic moderation principles, so they in a way become your ' | ||
+ | * emerging spontaneously on the spot. This allows for more ' | ||
+ | |||
+ | The breakout-moderators' | ||
+ | |||
+ | < | ||
+ | |||
+ | Comments from participants: | ||
+ | * difficult to find volunteers to moderate and/or report back (possible solutions - having someone from the hosting team act as a ' | ||
+ | * there has to be sufficient clarity of instructions, | ||
+ | * breakouts over several days can become like a supportive ' | ||
+ | * breakouts help with sharing a ' | ||
+ | * shy people feel more comfortable speaking in breakouts | ||
+ | * danger: the moderator imposing where the conversations should go. Good to separate the roles of moderator and reporter to avoid this. | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | === Unifying - whole group === | ||
+ | |||
+ | Usually done in a circle, or semi-circle, | ||
+ | * a listening circle: going around clock-wise or counter clock-wise, where one person speaks, the others listen and do not ask questions or add anything until the circle is completed; | ||
+ | * ' | ||
+ | * people picking up a talking piece from the middle of the circle when they are ready to speak | ||
+ | * the speaker offers the talking piece to the person they want to hear next) | ||
+ | * facilitator or a volunteer pick names out of a hat… | ||
+ | |||
+ | < | ||
+ | |||
+ | Comments from participants: | ||
+ | * It feels calmer when the ordering is set and you know your turn. Listening becomes easy, because you don't have to think of the order, on the other hand some participants then keep thinking of what they' | ||
+ | * Listening is best when you don't know when your turn is, but the reflection is shallower | ||
+ | * Choosing feels most comfortable. If there is a choice, some people want to go last (out of politeness), | ||
+ | * Choosing which circle form to use depends on circumstance and topic. | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | === Conclusion === | ||
+ | |||
+ | In all of the conversation forms above, the role of the host is the same: | ||
+ | * Explaining the exercise and what is expected (framing flow and topic) | ||
+ | * Moderating/ | ||
+ | * Steering conversations to the topic/ | ||
+ | * Keeping watch over group dynamics and people' | ||
+ | * Including everyone in the conversation | ||
+ | * Reminding people of instructions and house rules (discretely) | ||
+ | * Time keeping and announcing (think about what would be an appropriate prop - bells, cymbals, alarm, gong, wine glass, soft-> | ||
+ | * Summarising, | ||
+ | * Note taking (or harvesting, can be delegated if there is someone else available). | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | Using a combination of solo, duo, trio, break-outs and circles, you can design many different flows and formats. When combining different conversation forms together, think about what kind of conversation is most appropriate for the topic and the goals. Some need more contemplation or intimate sharing, others more active and unifying conversations, | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | Next time (April 2014): ' | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==== Listening and summarising ==== | ||
+ | |||
+ | While the participants are ' | ||
+ | |||
+ | === Listening === | ||
+ | |||
+ | A few notes on [[https:// | ||
+ | |||
+ | == Comprehension == | ||
+ | * understanding what the other person is saying. | ||
+ | * shared meaning, language, jargon issues | ||
+ | |||
+ | == Retaining == | ||
+ | * memory: related to making meaning (memory fills in the blanks - ' | ||
+ | * different memories, different meanings attached to the same statement | ||
+ | |||
+ | We can’t retain everything we hear, several reasons: | ||
+ | |||
+ | * cramming: a lot of info at the same time stored in short term memory, then purged | ||
+ | * not paying attention to what is being said | ||
+ | * not finding something important - looses meaning | ||
+ | * lack motivation to better remember what is being said: using info immediately after it was received increases our ability to retain information | ||
+ | |||
+ | == Responding == | ||
+ | |||
+ | * if in an interaction (conversation rather than lecture), you’re required to respond, it makes your listening more active | ||
+ | * mindless listening <-> mindful (active) listening | ||
+ | |||
+ | == Active listening == | ||
+ | |||
+ | * both words and non-verbal signals (body language) | ||
+ | * hearing, then restating/ | ||
+ | |||
+ | Barriers: | ||
+ | * distractions (physical - sounds, visual…) | ||
+ | * trigger words | ||
+ | * vocabulary | ||
+ | * limited attention span | ||
+ | * making assumptions based on our own experience, rather than really listening | ||
+ | * conversational narcissism, shift response - listen to what someone says, then turning the conversation to you without showing interest whether the others are listening, or whether what you’re saying is continuing/ | ||
+ | * support response - opposite of shift response: focus conversational attention to the other person, encourages cooperation (remember compass) - not me-oriented but we-oriented | ||
+ | |||
+ | What to do: | ||
+ | * put personal emotions aside | ||
+ | * ask clarifying questions | ||
+ | * paraphrase and repeat to make sure you understand | ||
+ | * try to overcome all environmental distractions | ||
+ | * not judging or arguing prematurely (holding onto a personal opinion) | ||
+ | * eye contact (in most EU cultures) and appropriate body language (mirroring, or middle position) | ||
+ | * empathise, try to listen from within the others’ shoes | ||
+ | * intonation and stressing particular words can keep listeners from being distracted | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | < | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | === Summarising === | ||
+ | |||
+ | i.e. Restating main ideas of a conversation in as few words as possible. Summary is like a quilt that pulls together very different pieces of fabric | ||
+ | |||
+ | In a summary the host takes what everyone has said into account, distills essential points in a concise and clear language. It's important to pay attention to what kind of information you’re summarising (is it describing the context, is it a call for action, opinions, answers to questions), especially if there are 'next steps' to be done. Always end by asking if people agree with your summary, if they have something to add, if something is unclear or if you misunderstood something - "did I get it right, did i get it all?" By the end of the summary, people should have a sense of closure, that the discussion is rounded up and there isn’t more to be said. | ||
+ | |||
+ | A good summary: | ||
+ | * uses the words of the speaker so they maintain ownership of what is said | ||
+ | * enables an overview of the discussion/ | ||
+ | * finds the essence in the jungle of words and opinions | ||
+ | * no advice, opinion or re-interpretation | ||
+ | * it doesn’t have to be perfect - it allows the group to reflect on whether you understood correctly - and if not, maybe others didn’t either… | ||
+ | * it gives the speakers a chance to 'hear themselves' | ||
+ | * sees things as a whole, when all the details, distractions, | ||
+ | * ensures clear communication | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | == How to structure summaries == | ||
+ | |||
+ | Be short and to the point, keep in mind what the topic or the question of the conversation is and find a words to pull together possible answers/ | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | Begin with a statement that shows that you’re summarising: | ||
+ | * let me see if i understand so far… | ||
+ | * here’s what i’ve heard, let me know if i’m missing something | ||
+ | * let me see if i have all of this… | ||
+ | * we’re coming to a close and i’d like to try to pull together what we said, to see where we are and where we’re going… | ||
+ | |||
+ | If there are different opinions or options, make sure to include them all | ||
+ | * on the one hand… while on the other… | ||
+ | * at the same time… | ||
+ | * and… | ||
+ | |||
+ | End with an open question: | ||
+ | * what else? | ||
+ | * what other points are there to consider? | ||
+ | |||
+ | When to summarise? | ||
+ | * at transition points | ||
+ | * in between sessions | ||
+ | * when changing topics | ||
+ | * to wrap up a session | ||
+ | * in the beginning and/or end of the day | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | < | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | === Impromptu public speaking === | ||
+ | |||
+ | When summarising, | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | A speech has 3 elements, and so does a summary: | ||
+ | * logos (content and structure) | ||
+ | * pathos (emotional impact) | ||
+ | * ethos (personal credibility and likeability) | ||
+ | (all three depend on the audience’s sensitivity) | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | Logos: | ||
+ | * keep it simple and easy to remember | ||
+ | * establish common ground | ||
+ | * think about what might be objections and counter arguments | ||
+ | |||
+ | Pathos: | ||
+ | * acknowledge your audience’s values and feelings | ||
+ | * share your own feelings and reactions | ||
+ | * use striking facts and contrasts | ||
+ | * be personal and visual | ||
+ | |||
+ | Ethos: | ||
+ | * show that you care | ||
+ | * acknowledge the colour of your lens | ||
+ | * use examples | ||
+ | * refer to people | ||
+ | * be real and interactive | ||
+ | |||
+ | < | ||
+ | |||
+ | * how does your life change with your children on school holidays | ||
+ | * what does climate chaos and unpredictable weather conditions impact your life? | ||
+ | * how do you deal with exhaustion? | ||
+ | * what could we work on together? | ||
+ | * etc. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Each host-in-training should have a chance to listen and summarise, so you should have as many rounds as hosts. Make the conversations 5-10 minutes long, then have the host summarise. Discuss the delivery and content of the summary together (did the host capture the gist of the conversation? | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | Next session (20140612 at 2PM): Graphic Harvesting/Recording | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||